Siren's Song
by Nemishysteria
Summary: Bucky was never the only subject Hydra experimented on. After the Helicarrier attack, Liz decides to comes out of hiding, demanding truth, justice and revenge. What she doesn't realize is that sometimes the answers you are looking for are not the ones you want to hear, and that the solution is staring you in the face. BUCKY/OC
1. Chapter 1

_Warnings: Swearing, PTSD symptoms, violence, probable smut in later chapters_

_Note: It's been like a year since I've posted anything on here. I've written a loooot but never actually stuck with a story until this one._

_I've read a lot of Bucky stories and they all seem to be about either random innocent OCs or Shield agents. I wanted to write something different, to have my OC be someone that Bucky could actually relate to and vise versa. I tried to keep her story as different to Bucky's within the constraints I had given myself. I also didn't want her to meet Bucky first, because 99% of every story I've read is basically "girl accidentally meets Bucky and looks after him", and I, being the stubborn arse that I am, wanted to go in the opposite direction._

_Also, I'm British but I -tried- (probably failed) to use American words instead of British ones, for the sake of realism._

_feedback is always nice, and I hope someone somewhere enjoys this._

_Obviously I don't own anything except Liz. She's all mine._

* * *

It was a sunny day in Washington DC, but not a pleasant one. S.H.I.E.L.D had crumbled, and the discovery that Hydra had infiltrated them for years left the survivors untrusting of everyone. Captain America had been hospitalised after his fight on board one of the Helicarriers but a couple of days later he was back on his feet, staring down at the tombstone of the supposedly dead Director Fury. Fury himself had stopped by before he disappeared, off to Europe to track down the remaining Hydra factions. Before leaving though, he had needed to talk to Steve Rogers about an important matter that needed to be dealt with.

"But how is that possible?" Steve frowned as he looked at Fury. "I thought Shield has been dismantled, how could someone hack into the system?"

"That's why you need to find this girl. Says she wants to help but it might just be a trap. Either way, she was Hydra until two years ago, so she needs taking care of."

That was the end of the conversation as far as Nick Fury was concerned. When he found his computer frozen and read the message that appeared on his screen, he had been furious. 'I am Hydra Project 215 - Siren. Read the file. I can help.' The message was short but to the point, and with it came an attached file. He didn't have the time though, the world thought him dead and he needed to disappear. He printed it out and gave the file to Steve, knowing he would do the work.

That was how, later that day, Steve Rogers and his friend Sam Wilson were knocking on the door of a third floor apartment, not quite sure of what to expect. They waited for a while, glancing at each other when no one answered. "Maybe nobody's home." Sam offered, shrugging.

Steve frowned and knocked again. This was the address the girl had given them and he was desperately hoping it wasn't a trap. This time the door opened, and the two men were taken aback by the tall woman standing before them, her light blonde hair falling in a mess down her shoulders, her long bangs hanging to one side of her face. She took one look at Steve's Captain America uniform and sighed. "I said I wanted to help, not kill you." She groaned, her expression barely changing as she turned around and went back inside, leaving the door open.

Steve and Sam exchanged another glance before stepping inside. "How exactly do you think you can help? I don't even know your name." Steve asked, looking around the immaculately clean apartment, noticing that it lacked any character at all. Everything was new and shiny, there were no pictures anywhere, nothing personal could be seen at all. It was like a display home.

"You read the file. I was Hydra, I know stuff" She shrugged. "Hydra's dismantled, so is Shield. I finally have a shot at kicking those sons of bitches up the ass so I want in on the fun." She explained in an even, bored tone as she headed to the kitchen to the left. The whole apartment was open plan, with the kitchen to the left of the front door, the living room further ahead, and two doors on the right hand wall.

"The file said you were one of their agents but you escaped." Steve pointed out, watching her carefully as she took out a glass from her kitchen cabinet and filled it with some whiskey from the bottle she kept on the side. "Why? And you didn't give me your name."

"Why?" She scoffed, taking a sip. "Because you think I wanted to be there in the first place?" She watched the two men before her as they looked confused. Eventually, she sighed and placed her glass down on the kitchen surface and bit her lip. "They tried to brainwash me. They thought they had but I'm a good actress." She paused, staring into the distance, lost in thought. "And I didn't give you a name because I don't have one. I've forgotten it. But feel free to call me Liz." She growled, getting angry. "Those bastards put me through hell and I want to repay them." She finished, staring into Steve's eyes.

Sam and Steve were silent. Sam wasn't going to say anything, he was just back up. This was Steve's idea, and he was staring at the girl trying to make his mind up. She seemed genuine in her desire to take down Hydra, but could he really trust her? She could be lying. It could still be a trap; but the file said she had escaped two years before. "You've been free for two years." Steve voiced eventually. "Why wait until now to come to us?"

"Because of what happened." She said simply. "I spent two years blending in. If Shield got to me, then Hydra would eventually get me back into their dirty hands. At least now I don't risk so much by coming out." She let the information sink in before continuing. "So are we doing this?"

Over the next couple of days, Steve and Liz spent a lot of time together. Since she had escaped, Liz had kept track of Hydra's movements as much as she could to avoid being detected. She transferred all her information to Steve and together they ploughed through it, like students doing research. Sam helped on a couple of occasions but as he had never been part of either Shield nor Hydra, he wasn't much use so once that he was confident she wasn't waiting for the opportunity to murder Steve, Sam left them to it.

Steve often watched Lia. She didn't respond much, only speaking when necessary and her body was always tense, her jaw tighter than necessary as she sat in silence. The dark circles under her eyes, almost puffy from lack of sleep, contrasted against her pale skin, though they were mostly hidden by the unevenly cut blonde bangs that hung over one side of her face, hiding her. She was tall for a woman, well built, and looked strong but still small enough to get into tight spaces. Her shoulders hung down, her posture completely off, but she was still perfectly fit. She was always looking around whenever she heard a noise, checking every corner of the room before she settled. She was a wreck, and Steve didn't know what to do about it.

He tried to get to know more about her, but she didn't like opening up. Whenever he asked her something, she tensed up even more and told him to read her file. One thing he did manage to coax out of her was that she was tired of being called Liz. It wasn't her real name; she had been too young when Hydra had taken her. For the first few years she had tried to hang on to her identity, but as she grew older, after Hydra telling her that she was nothing more than they're subject, she forgot. She counted herself lucky that she never had to have her memory wiped, that Hydra had counted on time passing by for her to forget. After all, how much do people remember of their life before their fourth birthday? Not much, not for her anyway.

She sighed quietly, turning back to her work. Captain America was being friendly to her, something she hadn't expected. She didn't quite trust him but she had at least come to feel comfortable with him around. He just had something about him that helped her relax, whether it was his incredible sincerity or his kindness, or the way he seemed to know when to leave her alone and when she needed someone. Whatever it was, she liked having him around even though she pretended not to. She never let him too close to her, never let him touch her, but sometimes the look he gave her was enough to calm her down when she felt a panic attack coming on. Steve wanted to keep an eye on her, not just because she was an ex-Hydra agent, but because he recognised the lost, confused look in her tired eyes. It wasn't much different to the one he had when he first woke up in this modern world. And it was exactly like the look Bucky had in his eyes the last time he saw him.

A few days later, Liz was waiting on the street for Steve to turn up at their meeting point. When Steve showed up in a car, she got in beside him. "Where are we going?" She asked, adjusting the black backpack that she always had on her lap as she continued to stare outside.

"Good morning to you too." Steve chuckled, putting the car into gear to drive off. "I'm not having any luck by myself so I thought you could help me look for my friend Bucky." Steve started, ready to continue when Liz uncharacteristically interrupted him, turning her head to look at him.

"A friend?" She exclaimed. "We don't have time to look for friends of yours, we've got to get Hydra before they regroup, before they start again and -"

"We will." Steve assured her, glancing at her quickly. "But I've got to find Bucky before they get to him again." He explained, waiting for her interjection but she merely sighed in defeat. "You might have heard of him in Hydra."

"I wasn't exactly friends with any of them." She muttered under her breath, wondering if she should just go home and continue with their research.

"Bucky is... was... the Winter Soldier." He added, noticing her instantly flinch at the mention of him. "So you do know him?" He asked, glad that he had been right. He was sure everyone in Hydra knew about Bucky. Hopefully she could help him find his missing friend.

"He and I have been introduced, yes." She said simply, not wanting much to remember her encounters with the brainwashed super soldier. "How do you know him?" She asked.

"He's my best friend, has been since I was a kid." Steve explained, not feeling the need to explain anything more than that. It still hurt him to think about what had happened to his Bucky, the man he had looked up to his whole life.

Liz stared at him for a while, watching how he swallowed, how his jaw tensed, how his chest heaved as he sighed quietly. Thinking about Bucky hurt him, that much was obvious. She wasn't told much about the Winter Soldier during her time at Hydra, she was kept well away from him most of the time unless they were posted on missions together. He had merely been their weapon whereas she infiltrated places and gathered information. "I don't know if Bucky will still be inside, after everything..." She said quietly in what was, she hoped, a comforting voice.

Steve tensed at her words. "He is. He has to be." He said simply, and Liz let it go. Maybe Bucky was still inside the Winter Soldier, but if he was he would be extremely broken, more so than she was. At least she hadn't been turned into a living machine.

The car pulled up by the side of the river opposite what had been the Triskelion. Steve led her through the trees and bushes to the riverside where he had woken up. "I think maybe Bucky pulled me out of the river after I passed out." He explained.

"It could have been anyone..." Liz muttered, watching as Steve crouched in the ground in search of tracks of any kind. She felt sad for him, having his best friend become a monster machine like the Winter Soldier. She had seen them fighting live on TV, and she had pretty much guessed what had happened at the showdown on the crafts the week before. "Steve..." She started, about to attempt to convince him their search was fruitless when she spotted something in the mud further towards the trees. She turned in her tracks and walked over to it, finding a footprint in the mud. Frowning, she placed her foot in the mud beside it, pressing down as hard as she could.

"What are you doing?" Steve wondered, watching her curiously as he appeared by her side.

"Hydra gave us both the same type of boot. If these tracks match mine, we've got him." Liz said confidently as she moved her foot, glad she had decided to keep those boots. The two glanced at each other and took a nervous breath before looking down. The prints matched.

"Bucky..." Steve muttered, hope surging within him.

Liz swallowed, a mixture of hope for Steve and fear for herself. "Let's go then..." She sighed, her hands instinctively gripping the straps of her backpack.

Steve noticed the gesture and finally dared as the question that had been bugging him since they had met. "What's with the bag anyway Liz? You never let it out of your sight."  
"It's..." She started, watching him. She had heard bad things about Captain America before she managed to get away from Hydra, but then when she saw on TV how he helped defeat those Aliens and send them back to space, how he had taken down Hydra almost by himself and how he was being kind to her, she faltered. He had been so nice to her over the last few days, she felt safe when he was around, even if he was just bringing her a hot drink as she read files.

"Never mind, sorry I asked." Steve said, turning away from her.  
"It's my suit." She blurted out, making him turn back to face her with an inquisitive gaze. "The Siren's suit. I kept it, I mean it's a good suit. Very resistant, and made especially for me... It's mine. And well... You never know when I might need it." She shrugged, biting her bottom lip.  
Steve nodded and smiled sadly. What he understood was that it was the only thing that truly belonged to her and, no matter it's purpose or memories it bore, it was the only thing in the world that identified her. No name, no family, no home... Just the suit. "Come on, hopefully we'll get a lead on where he went next."

Luckily it had not rained since the day Bucky left the tracks behind, so the unlikely duo easily followed the Winter Soldier's steps until they where they disappeared onto a path that went beneath the bridge. "So much for that." Steve sighed, looking around for more signs.  
"We're good." Liz nodded, having spotted a CCTV camera up above. "We just need to hack into the surveillance cameras and track his movements. We'll have him in no time.

"We can't do that." Steve automatically refused, turning to look down at her. She was a lot taller than most women he had met, her eyes reaching around his lips. Whenever he looked at her, he could only think of Bucky. The two definitely shared resemblance in their composure, the way their eyes moved around to scan their surroundings. The difference was that Liz's eyes were softer, more weary, less confident. "We can't just walk into the police and demand to see their footage."  
"We don't have to." She replied, her face not changing at all. When Steve frowned in confusion, she couldn't help but to chuckle slightly, her lips softly turning up before she turned around and lead him into the street.

They were sitting in an internet café. Steve had paid for an hour's internet and sat down beside Liz as she started her search. "How do you know this stuff?" He asked her as she got a black screen and typed lines of what seemed to be gibberish. "I thought Hydra wanted you as another soldier." He said quietly, careful that no one overheard them.  
"No." Liz replied, not taking her eyes off the screen. "They did train me to fight, but I was a hacker, a spy. They taught me languages and history and how to blend in. I went to parties to gather intel or secretly assassinate someone. The Winter Soldier hid in the shadows, I hid in plain sight."  
Steve watched her as she focussed on the screen, about to question her further when suddenly the computer screen was split into four showing various streets of DC. "Bingo." She smirked.  
"But that's happening now..." Steve frowned, watching as Liz continued to sort through a few things, finding the camera that overlooked the bridge they knew Bucky had been under.  
Liz didn't bother to reply as she found the footage of the week before, speeding through the footage until she found what they wanted. "Bucky..." Steve muttered, giving the computer screen his full attention.  
They watched as Bucky paced back and forth, occasionally running a hand through his long black hair. Liz swallowed hard as she watched him, flashbacks of their previous meetings going through her mind. He scared her. She knew the poor man was nothing but the result of years of torture and brainwashing, that he was innocent deep down, but she feared him nonetheless. He was terrifying and unnerving, cold and silent, barely human.  
Eventually the Winter Soldier stared at his metal hand and arm before looking around and heading towards the street looking very determined. Liz switched camera to follow his progress and she and Steve watched as he walked into a rather empty street, pieces of debris from the crafts littering the streets, some of it on fire as the Winter Soldier confidently marched through it towards one shop in particular. A clothes shop. He went inside and disappeared from the view of the camera, and Liz began skipping through the video to when he came out. But he never did. "What the..." She muttered, going back and playing it again. But Bucky never did step out of the shop.  
"There must be a back door somewhere." Steve offered, attempting to help Liz as she once again went through the tape. "He must have known there were cameras. If he changed his clothes and went out the back way, he has a lot less change of being found."

Liz sighed and agreed. "Then we need the shop's camera footage." She groaned, having to hack into yet another system. She did so, and found that the footage from that whole day had been erased. "Fucking hell!" She huffed, leaning back in her chair angrily.

Steve and Liz spent the rest of the day following dead-ended leads. They found nothing at the shop, searched for reports of anyone with a metal arm or anything that could possibly relate to Bucky and found nothing either. They retraced their steps, and still there was no trace of the Winter Soldier. "There must be some way to find him…" Steve groaned as they sat on a bench overlooking the river.  
Liz bit on her bottom lip, watching an ant on the ground at her feet. She was torn inside, she didn't know if she really wanted to find the Winter Soldier. The sight of him on those video clips had really frightened her, and she didn't want to go anywhere near him ever again. He was too much of a reminder of what she had been through, scared that he would make her face reality. Yet on the other hand, he needed to be found. Not just for Steve's sake - she did want to help Captain America - but also for the public's sake. He was a weapon, who knew what he was going to do now that he was free. Sighing, she knew she had to find him. "I don't think he would have gone far. Not yet… You said you tried to convince him that you knew him." She started, turning to look at Steve. "What information did you give him?"  
"Not much…" He shrugged. "I told him his name, that's about it really. He wouldn't listen."  
"His full name?" Liz asked, getting an idea. Steve nodded and Liz was on her feet not a second later. "James Buchanan Barnes, Captain America's best friend. Of course! Where else would he go for more information?" She snorted, the answer seeming so obvious to her now.  
"The Smithsonian?" Steve cocked an eyebrow as he stood up. "You think he went there?" He asked, hoping she was right. Thinking about it, it was a good place to look. All Bucky had was a name to go by, as well as his supposed friendship with Captain America. Of course the lost clueless Bucky would check out the nearest place with information about them, made much easier now that he was disguised as a civilian. "Let's go." Steve nodded, heading off in the direction of the museum with Liz hot on his tail.

Liz froze in the entrance of the Smithsonian. The place was huge and full of people bustling around - men, women, old and young, they were crowding around and speaking loudly. The absence of windows made it worse for Liz as she couldn't see a quick exit. Steve took a few steps before noticing she was no longer by his side and when he turned around, he saw her face was pale as her chest rose and fell quickly because of the obvious start of a panic attack. He rushed back to her and put a hand on her shoulder, hoping to calm her down, but instead she grabbed his arm and twisted it away from her, her eyes snapping to meet his. Her eyes weren't hers anymore, they were cold and hard and emotionless. They were Bucky's eyes. "Liz!" Steve called her, the both of them frozen in their position as they gazed at each other. "Liz it's Steve, it's okay you're safe." He reassured her, and slowly he saw her humanity come back before she swallowed and let go of his sore arm.  
"Sorry…" She muttered, closing her eyes as she swallowed. "I don't do well with… People and touching and… You know." She shrugged, taking a deep shaky breath as she looked back up at Steve, hoping he wasn't going to start mistrusting her for her actions. It really was nothing more than instinct.  
"I understand." He smiled. "Do you want to wait outside or -"  
"No, no, I'm fine." She nodded, indicating he led her to where they needed to be. Something about Captain America soothed her a little. He was different to everyone else, even from civilians. He seemed genuine in his care for other people, he was honest and noble, and he had a different world view to anyone she had ever met. She felt protected when she was with him, and for the first time since she had escaped Hydra, she felt like she had purpose. She wasn't going to give that up.

The security agent was all too happy to let Captain America view the CCTV footage of his own exhibit. They skipped through it and found, as they had suspected, Bucky slowly walking around and staring at the wall dedicated to him for a long while. They checked the date he had been there - two days after the events at Shield. They still had no idea what he had done for the four days after that. "He knows the truth at least. Maybe he's remembered." Steve wondered aloud as they exited the museum. "No." Liz shook her head. "Maybe it jogged a few memories but after what he went through… It's going to take a while…" She sighed, racking her brain for ideas. "He probably retraced his steps hoping to remember more recent things. He's not at the river, so maybe the bridge? You know, where the two of you fought on TV last week." She offered, looking up at Steve.  
"I checked already." He shook his head. "He wasn't there."

"You mean you couldn't see him." She half smiled.

Together they made their way to the bridge, making sure to blend in with the crowd to not scare Bucky away if he happened to see them before they saw him. They hung around the place where Steve had been arrested, and slowly strolled towards the bridge where the fight had broken out, the walls of buildings still scarred with bullet holes from everything that had happened. Steve looked around desperately, hoping to hear Bucky call his name and stroll over to him with that cocky smile he always had. Just when he was about to give up, he was slammed face first against the advertising board beside them. "What do you want?" He recognised Bucky's voice as he growled into his ear from behind.

Liz had jumped back and swallowed hard. The Winter Soldier looked just as large and menacing as she remembered, even though he was wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket over a black jumper and a baseball cap. His beard had grown and he looked a tired wreck as he gripped Steve's wrists behind his back to stop him from moving. Liz's breath caught in her throat as she watched him, mixed feelings tearing her apart. The man looked so defeated, yet still looked menacing. "Bucky, it's me." Steve tried to reason with him.

"Let him go." Liz tried to sound confident as she gave him the order, and as if by automatic reaction, Bucky did what he was told and took a step back, looking down at her with fear filled eyes, as if expecting to be punished any moment. When he saw she was no threat, he frowned, looking from her to Steve.

"I just want to help…" Steve offered, taking a step closer to Bucky as he tensed up, wearily watching the two of them. "Bucky please."

Bucky looked up at Steve with defeat, faintly recognising the blond man before him but couldn't remember him properly. When his gaze shifted to Liz, he frowned again, gazing at her as he racked his memory. She gritted her teeth and swallowed nervously, fearfully watching him as his eyes widened a little. "It's you." He said.


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay so wow, I really didn't expect to get so many followers, especially with only one chapter. So I just wanna say a HUGE thank you to everyone, especially to the guest reviewer. _  
_Because I'm such a perfectionist and very unsure about my own writing, I just wanna say that no, there isn't much happening in this chapter. The real plot line starts in the next one, but for the sake of realism and good character development, I felt this needed to be written before anything dramatic happened. _  
_I hope you like it just as much, and I would love some reviews. Thank you all for reading _

* * *

Silence reigned between the three people standing on the corner of a quiet street in Washington DC. Steve Rogers' gaze switched constantly between the two people in front of him - on his left, the Winter Soldier, his Bucky, his best friend turned brainwashed super soldier who could snap and attack them at any second; on his right, the Siren, the girl who called herself Liz as she had no other name to go by, a woman he was starting to trust and respect, someone he hoped to call friend.

Liz was almost shaking in her skin under the intense gaze of the Winter Soldier. She couldn't bring herself to think of him as Bucky, he was still just the Winter Soldier to her. She watched him as his eyes scrutinised every inch of her face, his eyebrows rising and falling as if he was struggling to remember anything, his body standing tall in front of her, ready to pounce at any second. Exactly as she was.

"Bucky…" Steve started, afraid the two would end up trying to kill each other. Luckily his voice broke the two apart and Bucky's gaze slowly left Liz to settle on Steve, his eyes full of apprehension, fear and confusion. "Come on buddy, let's get you somewhere warm and -"

"I'm not your friend." He snapped, stepping back, his voice dark and steady. "I don't remember you. And her -" He said, indicating Liz with a nod of his head, "I… I know her. I don't trust either of you." Steve opened his mouth to respond but found he had no idea what to say. He could barely even recognised the man in front of him because Bucky always had a smile tugging at his lips, was always well dressed and was a real charmer, yet the man that stood before him now was broken mess. Steve had spent his nights thinking of what he would say and do once he found Bucky but now that he had, he was completely at a loss of what to do.

"You're right, you don't know us." Liz spoke, her voice shaky and unsure. "But we mean you no harm. I know what you've been though. I know you can't remember, and I can't promise you ever will. But they are looking for you and they will find you."

She swallowed hard as Bucky's eyes fell upon hers once more, searching her face, trying to read her. He had barely spoken to anyone in the week since the fight, avoiding all human interaction. He was still struggling with the reality that he wasn't a machine, that he actually had a name, a life, and… Feelings. As he stared at Liz, his mind was screaming that he knew her, that he had seen her face somewhere before but he couldn't remember anything. It was obvious that she was afraid, broken and distrusting, but he saw no signs of threat on her face. He looked back at Captain America and once again looked into his familiar blue eyes, a vague memory of him smiling up at Bucky poking at his mind, enough to confirm that Steve would never hurt him. "What do you want?" Bucky eventually asked, knowing he couldn't keep going as he was.

"We just want to help." Steve said softly, desperate to get through.

"To give you a second chance." Liz continued, catching his attention once more. "To make you human again."

Steve watched nervously as they stared each other intensely. He hadn't known what to expect but he was glad Bucky wasn't running. Even though Bucky was half a head taller than Liz and much, much bigger, he took no advantage. In fact he seemed to physically crumble as he sighed, lifting his head to look at the sky. "Okay." He said simply, his eyes red as if he was on the verge of tears.

Steve nodded and smiled slightly, and Liz let out a shaky breath as she stared at the ground, following Steve's lead as he led them back to his car. Bucky hesitated before getting in, walking around it twice before agreeing. The ride was silent and awkward, with both Liz and Bucky constantly keeping an eye on each other via the rear view mirror until eventually Liz made Steve pull over so that she could get home by herself, relieved to get away from the tension. Bucky carefully her as Steve pulled away again, a million questions burning inside of him.

* * *

The next couple of days were hard for Liz. It had taken her two years to get herself back to a reasonable state of sanity, and it hadn't been easy. She had been alone and terrified, and every living thing was a potential threat waiting to lock her back into a cell at one of Hydra's facilities. Yet she had pushed through, she had managed to blend in and live a fairly normal life. She had even gotten a part time job, something that had greatly helped with her paranoia, and luckily her employer simply thought she was just suffering from PTSD after being in Afghanistan so he never asked her any questions. But after all that hard work, coming face to face with the Winter Soldier had snapped the frail exterior that was holding her together. She had gone back into her deep shell, ignoring phone calls and text messages, and kept her laptop constantly hacked into the CCTV cameras surrounding her building. She couldn't sleep because of the nightmares, but being awake was no better because of the flashbacks.

Visions of blood covering her hands, screams deafening her, the constant buzzing of orders in her ears. The tight cocktail dress she had to wear, the smile she had to keep on her lips as she eased her way through dignitaries, leaving almost unnoticeable marks so that the Winter Soldier to find his targets. The heavy metal door slamming shut, leaving her in a darkened empty room by herself for days after a mission. The malicious grins of the Hydra workers who checked her health. It was all too much for her to deal with.

After a few days, there was a knock at her door. She had watched Steve step off his motorcycle and walk up the stairs outside via her laptop. As she sat under the dining table, she watched the screen as it showed Steve knocking once again on her door, looking worried. "Liz!" He called out, and she watched as he nervously brushed his fingers through his blond hair. "Liz, are you alright?" Still, she didn't move from under the table, gripping the blanket around her shoulders. She only moved when she saw him take a step back and prepare to break the door in.

He was just about to charge when she opened up and he froze when he saw her as she squinted heavily in the light, her blonde hair greasy as it hung limply over her shoulders. She didn't utter a word as she turned to go back into her dark apartment, gripping the blanket around her shoulders as she crawled back under her dining room table.

He had been fully prepared to lecture her for ignoring his calls, yet as he peered into the dark room finding her curled up under the table, his heart sank. He quietly shut the door behind him and went to kneel in front of the table to get a closer look at her. "Liz…" He muttered, not too loudly because he figured she had been blocking out her senses as much as she could. "I'm going to run you a bath okay? And I'll get you some hot soup for when you're done." He offered, watching as her puffy red eyes flickered to meet his. She glanced over at her laptop and Steve followed her gaze, his heart sinking further when he realised she had been monitoring the building. "Don't worry about that, I'll be right here, you'll be safe." He continued.

Liz closed her eyes and sighed, gritting her teeth. She knew she couldn't continue like that. She hadn't washed or eaten in days, barely moving from under her table. It was where she felt safest; she had figured that out as a young girl when the Hydra agents got a little carried away with her discipline. She watched as Steve offered her a sympathetic smile and felt her eyes tear up as she nodded, sniffing as she slowly crept out from beneath the table. Steve went to help her stand but she jumped back, not wanting any human touch. He seemed to understand and disappeared into her bathroom to run her a bath, and she slowly, hesitantly, followed.

"There, the water's nice and hot for you, take your time, I'll make you some soup." Steve said as he came out the bathroom to find her hanging around outside.

Steve sighed as he stirred the soup. He had hoped he would get a bit of normality with Liz, just to sit down and have coffee and discuss the weather or something. Looking after Bucky was a lot of work, half the time he kept himself locked up, the other half he was vaguely staring into the distance. Bucky was a broken shell, with the mind of a child having to deal with horrors most grown men couldn't cope with. It was hard for Steve to watch his best friend, the one person who had loved him forever, the person who had always stood strong and confidently, suffer so much.

He originally thought Liz was coping well, as she had started holding decent conversations with him and didn't seem so tense as when he had first met her. He hadn't expected to find her like this and he wondered if it was because of Bucky, whether meeting him again had brought back memories that she had managed to bury. Either way, he was fully decided to bring her back to live with him. He had a soft spot for her since the day they met and he was determined to fix her. He couldn't just leave her, she was no different to Bucky. There was something about her that had gotten to him the same way Natasha had.

Liz stepped out of the bath feeling much better, comfortable knowing Steve was in the other room. She hadn't realized it until then but she trusted the man, and it have her hope that she wasn't a lost cause after all. She pulled on a pair of black leggings and an oversized grey t-shirt that hung nearly to her knees then brushed her wet hair. Looking into the mirror she could see that her eyes were still red; the skin around them dark and puffy but the heat of the bath had at least brought colour back to her skin. She lightly traced her fingers over the three jagged scars on the left side of her face, running from her temple to just under her eye before covering them with her bangs once again. Some things were better left hidden.

She wearily stepped out of the bathroom, catching the end of Steve's conversation on the phone as she squinted in the day light, clutching her starving stomach that roared to life at the smell of tomato soup. "I'll be back in less than an hour, stop worrying." Steve said into the phone, his back turned to her as he poured the soup into a boul. "Yes… Of course you can… Sure. Take care buddy."

"Who was that?" Liz asked, coming into the kitchen area to stand beside him as he put the phone down.

"Bucky. He's panicking because I'm not back yet." He sighed, passing her the bowl of coup. "I'll have to go soon, make sure he's okay." He smiled softly.

Liz shrugged, indicating that it was no problem. She sat down at the table and started feeding herself, realizing that it actually was a problem, she needed him. She watched him as she ate, the famous Captain America buzzing around her apartment as if he belonged there. They had known each other a week and there he was, putting things away for her, putting her dirty clothes in the wash, clearing up the pots he had used to prepare her food. He even knew that talking wouldn't help her, so he kept quiet but cheerful, smiling encouragingly at her whenever he passed. She felt better when he was around, knowing that he knew the truth about her, that he was on her side.

"Could you… Could you maybe come back? Like… I don't know… I just…" She stuttered, her breathing increasing as she searched for the right words.

Steve smiled kindly as he sat beside her. "Why don't you just come back with me?" He offered kindly. "My place is big enough. Buck's got one room, I have another, and if I shove my table out the way there's more than enough room for you to crash in my office. I mean, if you want."

She swallowed hard, her eyes scanning his. "Live with you?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow. "And… The Winter Soldier…" She took a deep, shaky breath, knowing that Bucky was the reason why she had fell apart in the first place. He had brought back memories she had hoped to forget, so living with him would surely make it worse. But then again she had to face him, otherwise she would never get better.

"No." Steve shook his head. "With me and Bucky." He smiled sadly. "Just stay a few days until you feel better. He won't hurt you, he's…" Steve sighed, his eyes dropping to the floor. "He needs looking after, so do you. And he's been asking about you." He admitted. The shocked expression on her face made Steve chuckle. "He wants to know where you've gone. He found your file and has been reading it over and over." He explained, frowning to himself as he didn't understand. "I think it would do him good to talk to someone other than me, especially someone who understands what he's been through. And it would do you some good too, even if it means facing a few demons along the way."

Liz closed her eyes tightly and sighed. "Fuck you Captain America." She mumbled. "Fuck you and your righteousness." She sighed heavily, breathing out loudly as she glared at the floor.

Steve smiled and picked up her keys.

* * *

Liz was shaking nervously, feeling a cold sweat drip down her back as she stood in Steve's hallway. She jumped at the sound of the door closing behind her and clung to the wall as she slowly stepped inside. "Bucky?" Steve called as he held her duffel bag in one hand. "Bucky I'm back!"

There was some shuffling further in the apartment and Liz was glad to see Steve's place was very much homey. It was large and bright and had many large windows; windows were always good for a quick escape. The living area had a couple of brown leather sofas and an armchair, separated from the kitchen dining area by a wall of books. A small hallway lead to the bedrooms, from where she could hear shuffling - the Winter Soldier. No - Bucky. She had to start thinking of him as a man not a weapon.

"Steve?" A worried, unsure voice called back. "Who's with you?"

"It's only Liz!" Steve called, putting her bag down on the floor by one of the sofas as he pulled off his jacket. "The blonde girl, remember you were asking about her again this morning?"

Liz's heart was pounding heavily against her chest and all of her senses were telling her to turn and run out of there, but she fought against it and simply hugged the wall, pressing her back against it as she stared at the dark hallway where she could see the Winter Soldier moving towards her through the shadows. He emerged into the light of the living room and she could see Steve had been looking after him. His hair was still hanging around his shoulders, his stubble had grown a little longer, but he was clean and was wearing a black hoodie and navy sweatpants, his body tense, his feet bare as he hesitantly stepped into the room, his tired weary eyes carefully eyeing her the same way she was eyeing him.

Steve was standing between them, hoping to god that he hadn't made a grave error in bringing them together. "Right uh… Bucky, this is Liz. She's a friend." He explained, waiting for Bucky to nod his understanding. Liz quickly turned her head to gawk at Steve, surprised he actually thought of her as a friend. "And Liz, this is my best friend Bucky." He then continued, turning to meet her gaze. "I'll go get the office ready for you to sleep in and I'll leave you to get acquainted." He said, stepping towards the corridor. "Call me if you need me." He added, stopping beside Bucky to give him an encouraging smile before he disappeared.

Liz was holding back tears as she stared at Bucky, gritting her teeth to stop herself from breaking down. Bucky hesitantly stepped towards her, standing in the middle of the room as he watched her reaction. "I won't hurt you." He said quietly. "I don't want to hurt anyone ever again."

She swallowed, finding that his eyes were soft and defeated, red and puffy. They were a man's eyes, no longer those of the Winter Soldier. Trusting Steve's judgment, she too stepped forward a little, not taking her eyes off him. "Hi." She said eventually, not knowing what else to say.

"Hi." Bucky responded, curiously taking in the sight of her.

After an awkward silence, they simply sat down, content to just be in the same room as each other. Bucky chose to sit in the corner of the larger sofa, the one facing the door with the window behind him. Liz took the armchair in the darkest corner of the room, allowing her to see the whole room. They sat in silence, and Liz was starting to calm down. She could hear Steve moving furniture around in the other room, and she could hear Bucky breathing evenly. The sound of cars rushing past gave the place a relaxed feel and the chair was so comfortable she felt like she was sinking into it. She closed her eyes and let out a long, steady breath. This could work. "Steve said Hydra kept you as well." Bucky suddenly said, breaking the comfortable silence.

Liz tensed and opened her eyes to meet his curious gaze. She nodded, licking her lips. "I was four when they took me." She found herself telling him. "We met, you and I." She swallowed.

"I knew I recognized you." Bucky replied, his voice calm as he watched her. "I didn't… I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked. Her gaze dropped to the floor at his question and she bit her bottom lip, scaring Bucky. "So that's why you're afraid of me…" He muttered. "I'm sorry, I never meant to –" He started, his voice strained and desperate.

"You didn't have a choice." She interrupted him, meeting his gaze once more. "I never blamed you." She added, remembering the first time they had met. It wasn't something she liked to think about, and it was one of the reasons why she had reacted so badly to seeing him.

"Why not?" He asked, leaning forward in his chair.

Liz passed her tongue over her top teeth as she wondered what exactly to tell him. She wasn't comfortable talking about her life, not to anyone, but she reasoned that he technically already knew, he had just forgotten. Sighing, she decided to just tell him. "They made you train me in hand to hand combat." She whispered, seeing flashbacks of the white cell in which she had been locked up alone with the Winter Soldier, a window to one side of the room so the Hydra agents could watch. "They wanted me to get used to pain so that it wouldn't stop me from doing my job." She swallowed, staring at the floor with tears in her eyes as she remembered curling up on the floor screaming as the Winter Soldier obeyed the orders on the loud speakers. "Then I started to learn how to fight back but… You were always stronger than me." She whimpered, her voice breaking off as she tried her hardest not to sob like a child.

Before she even realized what was happening, Bucky was on his knees in front of her chair, as close as he could get without directly touching her, looking up into her tear filled eyes. "I would have never done that if I knew what I was doing…" His quiet, broken voice muttered. "I'm so, so sorry… I…" He swallowed, shaking as well. "I can't remember…" He shook his head, trying to keep himself composed.

To her surprise, Liz lifted her hand and slowly, carefully, rested it on Bucky's metal shoulder. He looked up at her again to see a single tear run down her cheek. "It wasn't you." She sniffed. "I knew what they did to you, they threatened to do it to me if I didn't cooperate." She whispered. "I'm… I'm sorry I couldn't save you from that." She sighed, watching as his eyes fluttered to search hers, not understanding.

"You owe me nothing." He whispered back, and she left it at that even though she disagreed. She watched him as his eyes dropped to the floor, not recognizing the man before her. Yes Bucky and the Winter Soldier shared the same body, but looking at him now she would never mistake him for the Winter Soldier. Bucky's posture was different, the look in his eyes was sorrowful and fearful, his voice soft and broken. He was nothing more than a man suffering with the same torments as she was, and in that moment she didn't see the monster that had beaten her into submission. She saw a kindred spirit.

The rest of the day went by without a problem. Liz calmed down and accepted Bucky's presence, and Steve got some relief from having to constantly keep an eye on them both. When he came back to tell Liz that the office was now a comfortable bedroom for her, he found them sitting on a sofa next to each other watching a cooking program on the television. To say he was surprised was an understatement, as he had been fully prepared to grab his shield and stop them from trying to kill each other. He said nothing as he joined them on the other sofa, trying to keep his smile to himself.

They were both quiet, but where Liz liked to be left alone, Bucky hated being by himself. He and Steve spent the rest of the day together, talking about simple things. Bucky clung to Steve because he vaguely remembered him and felt something inside him that pulled him towards Steve, like he was meant to be by his side. Liz on the other hand kept herself locked in her room, feeling safe knowing that two highly trained fighters were keeping guard. She didn't appear again until Steve called her for dinner, determined to not let either of the recovering assassins skip meals. Liz ate half the Bolognese on her plate before her stomach started to feel sick from having too much food. Bucky on the other hand ate his whole plate and polished off Liz's leftovers too, but only after having raided Steve's cabinets to add chocolate chips and caramel sauce to his dinner, mumbling something about the consistency being wrong. No one said anything, as long as Bucky ate then it didn't matter.

After that, Liz locked herself away again until just after midnight when she crept out, needing a glass of water. She went into the kitchen to find Bucky already there, wearing a baggy grey t-shirt and his sweatpants. "I was just getting some food." He started, struggling with conversation. Steve always knew what to say. "Do you wanna join me? I'm making pancakes." He offered, desperate to get to know her. Something was pulling him towards her, he wanted to make amends. He had hurt her and he wanted to make it better, to prove to himself that he wasn't just a monster.

Liz sighed, shrugging. "Sure." She agreed half-heartedly.

She sat quietly on the bar stool as Bucky started pouring the mixture he had already prepared into a frying pan. She watched every one of his movements and had to admit that she was curious. Steve had mentioned that he wasn't doing so well but as far as she could see, he seemed to be coping better than she ever had. He was happily cooking the pancakes and not once did he need to turn around to check she wasn't about to pounce on him, check the room for threats, nothing. "So, how are… things?" She found herself asking. Maybe if she knew him as Bucky she could forget the Winter Soldier.

Bucky took a moment before answering, flipping the pancake over. "Not easy." He said, keeping his back to her to hide his face as he frowned deeply, biting his bottom lip. "Better now that I'm off the street but… Sleeping is… Impossible." He sighed.

"I know the feeling." She sighed. She barely ever slept, it was just torture. The nightmares made sleeping feel like hell, and it stayed with her all day. Even when she did manage to get some sleep, it wasn't restful.

Bucky turned around and smiled sadly. "At least you remember yourself. You're lucky." He said, trying to be helpful, but he quickly regretted it when he saw the look of horror on her face.

"Lucky?" She scoffed, laughing to herself. "You know your name, that's more than what I know." She cried, standing up. "I'm fed up of people calling me Liz when it's not even who I am!"

"I – I'm sorry – I - " He stuttered, raising his hands up, completely confused. "I thought - "

"No." She scoffed, laughing. "They never wiped my memories but I was too fucking young to hold on to my memories. They just called me Siren and I forgot. I have NO idea who the hell I am. I'm not even in Hydra's database anymore, I was erased!" She shouted, glaring at him angrily.

Bucky looked taken aback, his expression similar to that of a child who had been shouted at by his mother. "I didn't know…" He said quietly before turning back to his pancakes, leaving her to open her mouth and close it, realizing she had over reacted.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she walked over to stand beside him. "I'm sorry." She began, feeling extremely guilty. "I thought Steve had told you…"

When he didn't respond to her apology, she realized he had frozen, staring blankly at the frying pan, his body tense. Worried, she gently put her hand on his metal arm and not a second later, he had twisted round and gripped her throat, his ice blue eyes empty and fierce as he squeezed the air out of her throat, lifting her off the ground.

She tried screaming but her throat was too tight for anything to come out. She thrashed about, kicking him in his groin and he dropped her. She scrambled to her feet and charged at him, knocking him onto the floor as she straddled him, his actions having triggered her killer instincts. She grabbed the spatula that he had dropped and was about to stab him with the handle when he head butted her and rolled them over so that he straddled her, gripping her throat once more. She thrashed beneath him, glaring harshly up at him as he did at her. She was too weak to pull his hands off her neck, her punches too weak to do anything, when suddenly Steve appeared behind Bucky, his arm around his neck as he pulled him off her. Bucky stumbled back but Steve kept his arm tightly around his neck, waiting for Bucky to stop struggling.

Liz choked as she gasped for air, grabbing the spatula once again, about to strike when she froze, realisation hitting her as she came back to herself and she dropped the spatula, watching as Steve pleaded Bucky to calm down. Bucky kept thrashing around, and Steve kept his arm around his throat. Liz tentatively crawled over to them, kneeling in front of Bucky and lifted her hands to cup his face. He snarled at her and she whimpered, forcing herself to continue. "Bucky." She said quietly. "Bucky it's okay, you're safe… You're free." She told him, repeating to him the words she always told herself whenever she felt scared. Bucky seemed to calm down, his wild eyes staring into hers. "You're safe." She whispered, her thumbs caressing his stubble covered cheeks as she watched his eyes come back to normal, his body going limp in Steve's arms.

Steve let go of his hold on him and Bucky fell forward and buried his face in Liz's neck. She froze, looking to Steve for help but he simply smiled sadly at her, sighing in relief. Bucky started shaking as he brought his arms around her waist, holding her tightly against him and Liz felt the tears prick at her eyes again as she gently rubbed his back feeling awkward as she attempted to soothe the large man. She was in a state of shock after having nearly been killed by the man who had haunted so many of her nightmares and who was now a sobbing mess clinging to her for dear life. His closeness also made her heart beat faster, the closeness making her panic as she had barely ever let anyone touch her in the past two years.

Bucky nuzzled her neck, finding a more comfortable position in her arms and the comfort that it brought her finally made her breakdown into tears and she found herself holding him just as tightly as he was holding her, resting her head on top of his as she cried.

Steve, who had awoken when he heard the noise, decided to let them be. He turned the gas off and put his hand on Liz's head and she looked up at him with red puffy eyes, sniffing as she nodded to him. She was alright without him, and that's all Steve needed to know as he went back to bed, hoping they could help each other in ways he couldn't.

She didn't know how long they stayed on the floor like that but after a while her tears dried and Bucky stopped shaking, but neither of them moved. She ran her hands up and down his back, keeping her eyes closed as she felt more relaxed than she had in a long, long time. Bucky occasionally nuzzled her neck, rubbing his cheek against her neck as he sighed in contentment, revelling in the comfort of her embrace.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you again to everyone reading, it always brings a huge smile to my face._

* * *

Liz sighed as she slowly awoke, rubbing her face against the pillow until… Wait, that wasn't a pillow. Her eyes shot open and she sat up, banging her head on something hard. "Fuck!" She cried, closing her eyes tight as she rubbed the back of her head.

She heard deep, low chuckling and she opened her eyes again to see Bucky sitting beside her on the floor of Steve's kitchen. "Are you alright?" He asked in a deep, sleepy voice as he ran his fingers down her cheek with a small smile on his lips.

Liz nodded, the feeling of his warm rough skin against her cheek sending shivers down her spine as she watched him curiously. She realised they must have fallen asleep in each other's arms after what had happened, and she actually felt rested despite her aching back. Bucky was looking at her differently, his eyes soft and trusting as he checked that she hadn't hurt her head against the kitchen cabinet, and she found herself smiling back at him when the front door opened. They both shot to their feet, ready to attack.

"It's only me!" Steve called and they both relaxed, watching as the blond super soldier came into their view, sweating and panting after a morning run. "Finally awake then." He grinned at them, and Liz felt herself go red as she stepped away from Bucky, heading towards her room.

"I should get dressed." She mumbled, hurrying to her room and locking the door behind her.

She paced back and forth in the small room, a single bed pressed against the wall beneath the window, the three other walls being used by bookcases and a desk. She shivered nervously as she thought back to how she had woken up. She had rested her head on Bucky's chest; she had her arms wrapped around him. What the hell had happened? She was afraid of getting close to anyone, especially him. He was dangerous, he had nearly killed her.

She squeaked when her phone started ringing and she picked it up off her bed and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey Lizzy! D'you think you could come in a little earlier today? My cashier is sick and I gotta go pick up my gran from hospital." Her boss sung happily into the phone. She had forgotten it was Friday already and that she needed to work, so she groaned in response.

"Yeah, sure." She sighed. "What time?"

"You're an angel!" Arthur exclaimed. "If you could get here around 5 that would be great. I'll put you in for double pay to say sorry."

Liz smiled into the phone. "Sure." She said simply. "I'll see you."

"See ya!" Arthur called before he hung up, and she sighed deeply as she threw her phone back onto her bed, looking at the time on the clock that hung on the wall. It was nearly 10am already.

She grabbed her laptop and started up the search for her identity once more. She had tried countless times already to no avail. This time though, she knew that the Winter Soldier was James Buchanan Barnes, so maybe it would tell her who the Siren was. Before she knew it, hours had passed and Steve was knocking on her door. "Liz, I got some lunch ready for Buck and me…" He said hesitantly through the locked door. "Do you want to join us?"

Liz sighed heavily, realising she had been reading through records that had about 0.01% chance of containing any information about her, and closed her eyes. "Liz?" Steve called again.

With another unhappy sigh, she got up and opened the door, staring up at Steve with a blank expression, waiting until he stepped back before she went into the kitchen and sat at the other end of the table to where Bucky was sitting in yet another hoodie that hid his body. She said nothing as she ate, deep in thought as she absentmindedly listened to Steve and Bucky talking. Well, Steve was doing most of the talking and Bucky listened carefully, hanging on to every word.

After lunch, Liz locked herself away again until she finally stepped out of her room, wearing torn jean mini shorts and a fitted black t-shirt with the name of a bar in bright green, her blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. "Whoa, what's going on?" Steve asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"I gotta go to work." She said, getting herself a glass of water. "I'll be back around 3am."

"Wait, you've got a job?" Steve frowned as he came into the kitchen. She only shrugged and nodded, rinsing the glass clean and picking up a banana. "Where do you work?"

"Bar." She said simply, avoiding his gaze as she slipped passed him, only to almost walk straight into Bucky who had appeared at the doorway.

"You haven't eaten since lunch." Bucky mumbled in his deep, unsure voice. He was standing to his full height, towering over her with his large, muscular body and with his long hair in a mess, and she suddenly felt very small and intimidated.

"Not hungry." She shrugged; giving him a large, fake smile as she pushed passed him and picked up her black leather jacket from the coat hanger. "I'll be back around 3. Don't wait up." She called as she left without another word.

Bucky cocked his head as he looked over at Steve who only shrugged. "It could do her some good." Steve offered, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Bucky wasn't convinced, and he stared at the front door for a long time hoping to see her come back any second, but she didn't. Eventually he went back into his room and locked himself away like he had done before she had arrived, curled up in the corner of the room.

Work was slow and Liz was distracted. Her mind kept replaying the events of the night before, first with Bucky nearly killing her then the way he had clung to her, the way she had felt relaxed in his embrace. At one point she caught a glance of the television screen that was on a news channel as it replayed a scene of Steve and Bucky fighting in the street. She watched Bucky carefully, trying to recognise the man she had fallen asleep with, but all she could see was the machine that had trained her. The man he was now was nothing like that, being away from Hydra had brought back his humanity and fragility, and she realised that she felt protective of him. They had both suffered at Hydra's hands, only she had been lucky compared to him. They were not much different.

"Earth to Lizzie!" Arthur sung as he came in behind the bar holding out a couple of bottles of alcohol to her. "I'm off now; I'll be back in a couple of hours." He told her as she put the bottles away in the cupboard. Arthur was slightly shorter than her and rather skinny. He always dressed in suits for some reason, and smelt heavily of men's cologne. "The police said they would pop in later so uh, be nice." He winked, fixing his tie.

"The police?" Liz frowned, grabbing a sponge to wipe the surface of the bar.

"Yeah, they came in a couple of days ago looking for that weirdo assassin guy who tried to take down Captain America." He shrugged. "Said they'd be back tonight to question you lazy asses who only work on weekends." He winked before he waved and left.

Liz stiffened and only broke out of her thoughts when a customer called out to her for a refill. For the next couple of hours her mind was elsewhere, wondering what she should do. She texted Steve to tell him the police were after Bucky, but of course he already knew that. The whole world was looking for Bucky after what had happened – Hydra wanted him back, the remainder of Shield wanted him taken down, and the US authorities wanted to put him on trial and lock him up. She would be in the same boat if her cover was ever blown but luckily no one had questioned her so far, she had a place to live and a job so she was normal as far as anyone could tell.

The policemen _were_ suspicious though. "Elizabeth McGuire?" The middle aged policeman read, cocking an eyebrow as he looked from the ID to Liz. He passed the ID to his colleague who ran it through their database. "So you have no information whatsoever concerning Hydra or Shield?" He asked her again, his eyes locked onto her, trying to make her feel uneasy.

"No." She shook her head confidently, knowing the two men were suspicious somehow and were unsuccessfully hiding it. "I have met Captain Rogers though." She said, knowing they would eventually find the CCTV footage of her and Steve in the street. Admitting it would make it seem like she wasn't hiding anything, at least she hoped. "Couple of times actually, he's a nice guy."

The policemen cocked an eyebrow as he gave the ID back to her. "And he didn't say anything about all of this? Anything that could be useful to us?"

Liz shook her head. "I just thanked him for saving us over and over again and he said it was his duty and honour and that he was proud to do so. That's all." She shrugged.

She hurried back to Steve's home, trying to avoid showing her face on any CCTV cameras. When she got in and found the place dark where the men had gone to bed, she locked the door behind her and checked that every window was secure and that nothing was misplaced or broken. Once she had reassured herself, she went to have a shower, stripping herself of the stench of alcohol and smoke, changing into a pair of black leggings. She paused before pulling on a t-shirt, tracing her fingers over the tattoo on her upper arm, reading the letters '_P215_'. Her file number, that's all she was. A project, branded like any other weapon that Hydra possessed. She groaned and aggressively pulled on her t-shirt, covering the markings as she stepped out of the bathroom.

She was about to go into her room when she heard muffled sounds coming from Bucky's room so she tiptoed towards his door and pressed her ear against it, worried that he was being attacked, but when he started screaming she simply threw the door open and burst in ready to attack, finding the room dark except for the few street lamps shining in, showing Bucky sitting up in bed wearing nothing but sweatpants, his chest glistening in sweat as he panted, staring at her with wide horrified eyes.

Her shoulders sagged as she watched him, feeling like she was looking into a mirror. Bucky dropped his gaze and stared into his lap, and she decided to leave him. She turned around and started closing the door behind her when he called her. "Liz." He mumbled quietly.

She turned her head to see him watching her, his jaw trembling as he held in tears. She swallowed, debating whether she should go to him or not. She looked across the hall to her room and saw Steve having rushed out of his room and staring at her questioningly. She took a second before nodding to him, and walked back towards Bucky, slowly sitting on the edge of his bed as he trembled and gently took his metal hand in hers, hoping he wouldn't lash out like he had the night before.

Instead of trying to kill her, Bucky simply stopped shaking and sighed. "I remember… This man… So much blood…" He whispered, staring at his human hand. "I… I killed him…"

"It wasn't you." Liz hushed him, twisting on the bed so that she faced him properly. "What they made you do, it wasn't you. There's no need to feel guilty." She said quietly, tucking his long dark hair behind his ear. "It's okay."

"No it's not." He said more forcefully, meeting her gaze. "What I did it's… It's not right. I'm a monster…"

Liz shook her head as she cupped his face in her free hand, squeezing his metal hand tighter in her other hand. "Hydra is the monster. You're the victim."

Bucky scoffed as he closed his eyes, leaning his head on her bare shoulder. "Every night I see things… Every night it…" His voice trailed off, enjoying the feeling of Liz's hand running up and down his back. "How do you deal with your dreams?" He asked, lifting his head and running his fingers down her cheek just as he had that morning.

"Honestly… I try not to sleep." She shrugged. "I guess I just…" She sighed, not knowing how to help him. She wanted to, but she couldn't even help herself.

Bucky nodded, understanding how she felt. "Steve says that time heals everything."

Liz scoffed, a slight smile pulling at her lips as she looked at Bucky, the way his eyes always shone with hope whenever he spoke about Steve. "You're lucky to have him."

Bucky frowned a little, watching as she leant forward and pressed her lips against his forehead. His insides felt warm as he relaxed under her touch, but she then got up and went back to her room without another word, leaving him slightly confused and feeling very, very lonely.

Liz managed to get a couple of hours sleep before she found herself rummaging through Steve's kitchen searching for something to eat. When Steve joined her wearing his usual running clothes, he watched her with amusement. "What exactly are you looking for?" He asked.

"Normal breakfast food." She complained. "Dude, have you ever heard of cereal?" She asked, turning around to face him as he started laughing.

"Nope!" Steve sung as he picked up a banana. He winked as he left to go running, leaving her to groan and slam the cabinet shut, deciding to go back to her own place and stuff her duffel bag full of food. She needed to pick up some more clothes anyway.

She got back to Steve's place around lunch time and as soon as she stepped through the door, Steve almost jumped on her. "He won't come out, he's scaring me." He said his eyes full of worry.

"Huh?" She frowned, trying to push past him to put her bag down.

"Bucky!" Steve insisted, grabbing her bag for her and tossing it onto the floor. "He's locked himself in the bathroom and he won't come out! He seemed completely unfocussed when I got back from my run and I barely touched him before he pinned me against the wall and shot off to the bathroom." He said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her towards the bathroom.

"Well just leave him!" She cried, pulling her hand back. She liked Steve, but the way he was being aggressive was unsettling her. "He just needs time…"

"It's been four hours!" Steve pleaded, the look in his eyes almost killing her. "I've always managed to help him until now, usually he stays in there for an hour or two then he comes out and I make him some tea and we sit together but… I don't know it's different today."

Liz sighed. "Alright, I'll try talking to him." She said, watching as Steve's face brightened up instantly. "I can't promise anything, but I'll try. Just… Put my food away will ya? Some of it is fresh, needs to be in the fridge." She told him, wanting him out of the way.

Steve nodded and left her alone in front of the bathroom door. She took a deep breath and knocked. "Bucky? It's Liz." She started, giving him a chance to reply if he wanted to. "Look, Steve's really worried about you. I know it's not easy, but… You don't have to go through this alone. Not like I did." She frowned, leaning her forehead against the door. "You don't have to come out if you don't want to, just… Let me know that you're okay? I don't know, knock or something." She asked, feeling sad as she imagined him alone with his nightmares.

She waited a few seconds and there was a small tap against the door which made her feel a bit relieved. "Thank you." She called through the door. "You don't have to let me in; I'll just stay here okay? So you're not alone. I'll be right here outside the door."

She sat down on the floor, her back against the door and she heard Bucky shuffle around inside, and heard him sit against the door as well. She had no problem sitting there for as long as he needed, and found that it helped her as well. She leant her head back against the door and closed her eyes, imagining that the door wasn't there and that she was leaning against him. Something about Bucky Barnes helped, and she'd be damned if she didn't make the most of it. Two years she'd been free, and the only time she had ever felt truly relaxed had been on the floor with him holding her against him. She decided then and there to through caution into the wind and get as close to the ex-Winter Soldier as he would let her. Steve had been right, they really could help each other in ways no one else could.

Eventually Bucky unlocked the door and Liz stood up as he opened up. They stared at each other for a while until they simultaneously threw their arms around each other, seeking out the support they needed. Liz gripped his hoodie as she fiercely pressed her body against his, burying her face in his neck, never wanting to let go. His arms were strong, especially the metal one, but somehow she didn't feel it as a threat but as comfort. Even Bucky felt himself relax as he held her, closing his eyes as he took in the smell of her hair, exploring the curves of her back as he ran his hands over her shirt.

What Bucky liked most about her was that she didn't expect anything of him. Steve was a miracle to him, he was the most wonderful thing he could have hoped for, but sometimes Bucky felt like he was letting Steve down when he failed to remember something, or when he reacted differently to how 'old Bucky' would have. With Liz there was none of that, everything he did and said was new to her and she took him as he came. Even the slightest decision was hard for him, from what to wear to what to eat. He wasn't use to the free will, and it was hard, but Liz made it easier, she gave him that little extra confidence in himself, and he clung to her as if she would magically fix him.

Steve happened to choose that moment to check on them and paused as he saw them hugging. He smiled to himself and gave them a minute but was unable to contain himself for long. "You guys want ice cream?" He grinned, not even noticing how quickly they jumped apart.

They decided to watch a movie together before Liz had to go back to work. Bucky was left to sort through the DVDs whilst Liz and Steve got the ice cream, during which time she briefed him on the police's visit to her work. "I checked their system; they're doing a door to door search through every business in the area." She told Steve in hushed tones. "I wouldn't be surprised if they come knocking here to question you. We can't just continue living like this pretending nothing's wrong."

Steve sighed as he closed the freezer. "But I can't bring Bucky back into this. He's recovering, he's a mess. He barely sleeps, he doesn't remember who he is and… Just, no, I can't risk it."

"We don't have a choice." She urged quietly so Bucky didn't overhear them. "Steve, they will find him if he stays here. We have no information from Shield, for all we know Hydra could be winning out there. We need to act."

Steve gritted his teeth. He knew she was right, but he couldn't bear the thought of subjecting Bucky to that life again, especially so soon. "Maybe we should just leave. You know, find a cottage in the country somewhere. The quiet would probably do him some good." He wondered. Liz scoffed, and shook her head, about to retort when he beat her to it. "Liz you pretend you're okay but you're not. You haven't recovered at all, you need help as much as he does."

She gritted her teeth as she watched him. "I'm not running anymore." She growled quietly. "You can take Bucky away if you want, but I'm staying. Starting tomorrow I'm going to track down Hydra and execute them one by one and I won't stop until the last son of a bitch that ever worked for them is dead."

They glared at each other for a moment until Bucky interrupted them. "I agree with Liz." He said. "And we're watching this Harry Potter guy." He added, waving the DVD in the air before turning and going back into the living room.

Liz gave Steve an 'I-told-you-so' look before grabbing two tubs of ice cream and going to sit beside Bucky on the sofa. "Chocolate chip or vanilla?" She asked him, not feeling the need to acknowledge what he had said in the kitchen.

Bucky shrugged. "I don't know. Whatever." He muttered.

"Come on you must have a preference." She urged, giving him a spoon as Steve sat down on her other side, placing a third pot of ice cream on the table. Bucky shrugged again, so she picked up the chocolate chip and curled up next to him. "Well I like chocolate chip, so let's share."

Steve started the movie and Liz tucked her feet beneath his thighs as she curled up in the middle of the sofa, leaning her head on Bucky's shoulder as she took a spoonful of ice cream. Bucky took a small bite and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Steve and Liz to glance at each other but before they could speak, Bucky sat back down with a packet of grated cheese in his hands. "Do you mind?" He asked, wanting to sprinkle some over the ice cream.

Liz blinked several times as she watched Bucky empty half the packet of cheese into the pot of ice cream, stirring it up with his spoon before taking a large mouthful and moaning happily as he leant back into the sofa. "Hmm, now this is good." He smiled, his eyes glued to the TV as he wrapped his metal arm around Liz's shoulders. Since he had moved in with Steve, he had not been able to eat normal food. The consistency was always wrong, and he just had a lot of trouble enjoying eating anything that was considered 'normal'. Maybe it was because Hydra had only ever fed him through tubes, but Bucky always found the nicest food was bizarre mixtures no one would think of.

By the time the movie had finished, all three tubs of ice cream were empty and the three friends were curled up around each other. Steve was lying across the sofa with his back against the armrest. Bucky was lying back with his feet up on the table, with Liz's head snuggled up on his lap, her legs entwined with Steve's. They were all relaxed and comfortable with each other, content to temporarily forget about their lives and suffering as they immersed themselves into the world of Harry Potter.

Eventually Liz had to go to work, and she did so reluctantly. Her boss stayed behind the bar with her telling her all about his afternoon with his friends, about how they were preparing the stag party of one of them. Liz put on a smile, she was always happy to listen to him tell her about his life. That's what she liked about him – he never asked anything about her and never made her feel uncomfortable, he talked so much that it gave her a glimpse of a normal person's life.

He was busy telling her about the stripper they got when Liz's attention was caught by the two policemen who wondered in. One of them caught sight of her and elbowed his colleague, and they both made their way over to her. Something was up. She grabbed a pen and hid it up her sleeve and poured another beer for one of the customers, pretending not to have noticed as the policemen leant on the bar in front of her. "Good evening officers!" She smiled innocently, handing the beer to the man who had ordered it.

"Elizabeth McGuire?" One of them asked, taking out his ID from his pocket. "Agent Baker, could we have a word? In private?" He asked.

"Of course." She nodded, smiling as she walked around the bar, discretely picking up her phone as she directed the two men to Arthur's office. Once inside, the officers shut the door and blocked her way out. "What's wrong, officers?" She asked, feigning innocence once more as she fiddled with her phone behind her back, using the window's reflection to check on her progress.

"You can cut the crap, _Elizabeth_." The taller one scoffed, spitting her name like it was vile. "Nice name, where'd you pick it up?" He smirked, making the other one laugh.

Liz giggled. "I don't know what you mean." She said, smiling innocently. "I'm Elizabeth McGuire, born to John and Mary…" She frowned. "You gotta believe me, I just finished my degree and - " She stuttered, her acting as good as she had always been taught, trying to buy herself some time as she devised her plan. Just as she pressed send on the text message to Steve, she threw her phone out of the window to break the glass, pulled at the rickety old bookshelf just as the men reacted and sent books and papers flying all over the room, and jumped out of the window. She rolled on the pavement picking up her phone as she did, and ran as fast as she could, avoiding men stationed outside the bar.

"There! Get her!" She heard them, and she kept running. Luckily it was barely after 10 so there were still a lot of people out in the streets, and she made sure she kept to the busiest parts of the street as she ran. She ducked into an alleyway and climbed a fire escape ladder that lead to a roof. She could hear the men behind her as she ran across the rooftops of the smaller buildings of DC, knowing she would soon get to the tall buildings that were impossible to climb. She had to think fast, and she didn't have much time. She jumped over another alleyway to get to the next rooftop and, just as she knew the men would be jumping behind her, she turned and dropped down into where she knew was a large dumpster. She fell onto the plastic lid, groaning as she fell on her shoulder, but ignored the pain and rolled off the bin, opening it and jumping in.

"Where is she?" She heard voices and footsteps above her.

"She jumped somewhere around here!" Another man called.

"Where the fuck is she?!"

"She can't have gone far, check the other streets!"

She waited a few minutes until she could no longer hear anything and quietly got out. She turned into the next back alley and came across a group of homeless people sitting on the ground watching her wearily. She pulled out her money and gave them about fifty dollars, quietly asking for a hoodie in exchange. The men happily agreed and quickly gave her a dirty green one that was lying on the floor.

She changed her posture and bent over a little, changing the way she walked with her feet dragging along the ground slightly, her hands buried in her pockets as she walked behind a group of young teens who had obviously had too much to drink.

She managed to avoid being detected and got back to Steve's building quickly. She ran up the stairs and burst into the apartment, panting as she leant against the door. "Liz!" Steve exclaimed from the living room, and before she could take a step forward Bucky had emerged from somewhere and wrapped his arms around her, holding him against her.

"Are you alright?" He asked, holding her shoulders as he looked down at her worriedly.

"Fine." She nodded awkwardly, shrugging out of his embrace as she ripped of the dirty, stinky sweater. "I don't know how they figured it out but I'm guessing they'll be coming here." She told Steve as he zipped up a duffel bag, very aware of the way Bucky was hanging around right behind her.

Steve nodded and tossed her his keys. "You and Buck get to the car." He instructed her, nodding to the bags that he had already prepared. "I'll be right behind you."

"Hurry up, eh?" She called, picking up the duffel bag as Bucky grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the door. They had to disappear, and fast.


	4. Chapter 4

_I just want to say a HUUUUUGE thank you to the people who left such fantastically beautiful reviews, and to everyone who followed and/or favorited this story. I can't get over it, it really keeps me going. _  
_As usual, if you have any questions just ask. I'm also posting this story on my Tumblr account along with pictures I make for each chapter, so if you wanna check them out I'm gonna add a link to them on my profile. _

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Liz and Bucky ran down to the underground parking lot where Steve kept his car. They threw in the duffel bag and as Bucky got into the passenger seat, Liz looked around for Steve. When she couldn't see him, she slid into the driver's seat and turned on the engine. "Where the hell is he?" She asked, her impatience growing every second.

"Do you need me to go get him?" Bucky asked, his voice deep and rough as his eyes grew dark, feeling the Winter Soldier trying to take over. He fought against his instincts to turn back into a machine, but he still felt like he was on standby awaiting orders. Despite this, he knew that he had to stay put and look after Liz, Steve had made him promise. The problem was that Steve was taking too long, maybe he was in danger? Bucky was just about to open the car door when Liz put the car in gear and made a sharp U-turn, swinging the car around and speeding to the exit, stopping just in time as Steve came bursting through the doors holding his shield, blocking the bullets that were flying through the air.

Steve jumped into the back seat and Liz put her foot down on the pedal and managed to drive away and avoid being shot at. Breaking the barrier at the exit of the parking lot, she gritted her teeth as she drove straight towards a group of men aiming their automatic rifles at them. "Get down!" Bucky told her, pushing her to the side as she turned the wheel in the direction of the street, hoping she had judged the angle correctly as Bucky held her down, bullets shattering the windscreen. She pushed him off her to get her eyes back on the road, and zigzagged through the cars as fast as she could.

"I gotta say I'm glad you're driving!" Steve called from the backseat, attempting to lighten up the situation, worriedly glancing from Liz to Bucky, both of their faces set in stone as they seemed to have reverted back to the way Hydra had trained them.

They were being followed, and Liz snorted to herself as she remembered watching Bucky track down Fury in a similar way not so long ago. "Left!" Bucky suddenly shouted to her and she slammed her foot on the breaks, several cars flying right passed them as she turned the wheel and headed left, not even questioning Bucky's orders, her training having kicked in. The street was quiet and she sped as fast as she could, looking in the rear view mirror to see their pursuers fading in the distance. "I think we lost - " Bucky started but was cut off when the back of the car exploded and the car skidded to it's side and rolled over a few times before coming to a halt, thankfully on it's wheels.

Steve was the first to get out the car, gripping his shield to cover himself as he pulled open Bucky's door. Bucky looked over to check on Liz and found she was unconscious, bleeding from a cut on her head. He leant over and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her out and sat her on the ground against the car as she mumbled, waking up. Steve kept them shielded from the growing number of enemies around them, all holding their guns up towards them but not shooting. "Guys…" He urged them, not wanting to leave them until he knew they were safe.

Bucky took one look over his shoulder and snapped. "Get her to safety." He growled at Steve before he stood up and faced the men, glaring at them fiercely.

"Bucky wait!" Steve called but it was too late, Bucky had already taken off at an alarming rate, disarming the nearest soldier and breaking his neck, grabbing his gun and starting his attack on the others. Steve turned back to Liz who was trying to sit up, determination all over her face. "I got ya." Steve said as he put an arm around her shoulders and helped her up, keeping his shield up to cover them.

"The bag…" Liz groaned, turning around to get them out.

"Forget it, let me get you - " Steve shook his head but Liz pushed at his chest and grabbed the duffel bag containing her stuff and whatever else Steve had put in there, then turned back around and froze when she saw Bucky. "Steve…" She muttered, watching Bucky fight. Not that it was Bucky anymore; she was staring at the Winter Soldier. His movements were precise, fast and calculated as his black figure moved around in the dark street, the yellow street lamps dancing off his dark hair as he expertly terminated the lives of the assailants.

Steve put his hand on the small of her back and urged her away from the car wreck, hurrying to get her to the safety of the alleyway. Once they ducked into the narrow alley, she sat herself down on the ground as Steve turned and went back to help Bucky, and Liz snapped her phone out of her pocket and began her work before the police showed up. She did her best to ignore the sounds of gunshots, shouting and metal as she hacked into a nearby Hydra device and started downloading all the information they had on them when suddenly someone started firing at her. She managed to avoid the bullet as she jumped to her feet and ran towards the man who was a few feet in front of her, using the time it took him to reload his gun. She tackled him to the floor, lifting her knee to hit him in the groin as hard as she could, then gripped his throat and squeezed. He managed to land a punch on her face and she rolled off onto the floor from the force of the impact. The man pulled a knife out of his boots and swung it at her, narrowly missing her face.

Liz groaned as she once again threw herself against him, picking up his gun and using the butt to hit him across the head, sending him staggering back against the wall, dropping the knife. She picked it up and, just as the man was recovering from banging his head against the brick wall, she pushed the knife into his throat, glaring into his eyes as she twisted the blade, making sure he was dead. She heard footsteps behind her so she swung around, holding onto the knife as it dripped with blood and lifted her arm to stab the person behind her, only to have Steve grab her arm and stop her. "We need to go." He instructed her.

Liz looked around to find all the other Hydra agents dead, but the police were starting to surround them. Bucky joined them, taking long confident steps with his head held high, his face blank and emotionless as he picked up the duffel bag like it was nothing and continued down into the dark alleyway, acting as though they weren't there. Liz kept hold of the knife, fearing what Bucky might do if he snapped any more than he already had, and looked at her phone to find that it had finished downloading the files from Hydra and she deleted them from their database as she followed Steve and Bucky into the darkness, a few flashing lights lighting up the place, her head spinning from the car crash.

She turned a corner and found the men getting into a car so she got into the back seat, closing the door just as Steve drove off, taking small alleyways to avoid being found by the police. Bucky was sitting silently in the passenger seat, his body rigid and tense. They were silent as they drove through DC, turning their heads whenever they passed a police car that was headed their way. Liz used her phone to hack into the police database as they drove, deleting the information on the three of them to make sure they got away as easily as possible. They had been very lucky to get away so quickly, yet none of them were ready to relax, not until they were out of town.

It wasn't until Steve hit an interstate leading out of DC that Liz let out a shaky breath, her shoulders sagging. They pulled into a small outside parking lot and Steve killed the engine, the three of the sitting in darkened silence, not knowing what to do. "We need to get a different car." Liz said quietly, breaking the silence. "And new clothes, and…"

"We'll be fine." Steve said, turning around to look at her, hearing the distress in her voice. "We're not going into hiding; we just need time to get ourselves together."

"But - " She started but Bucky turned around and looked at her for the first time since the car crash. His eyes were hard and he didn't look well at all.

"You said you wanted revenge." He said darkly, referring to what she had told Steve. "Take it."

He then stepped out of the car and walked off a little, leaning against a wall. Steve quickly stepped out of the car and went after him, leaving Liz alone in the middle of the backseat, clutching the duffel bag in her arms, knowing that her uniform was in there. She had been running for two years, running from emotions, memories and feelings. She looked out the window to see Steve holding Bucky in his arms as Bucky shook, his fists balled by his sides. This was her chance to change; this was her chance to fight back.

Bucky was nearing breakdown. He was panicking, shaking, and feeling extremely angry. The moment he saw Liz passed out in the car, he had felt something snap inside of him. The bloodlust he felt towards the men who had hurt her was something he wasn't comfortable feeling, and he thought back to how easy it had been for him to take out the enemy, the ease with which he ended their lives. He was terrified of what he was capable of. When Steve had come after him and put his hand on his shoulder, Bucky vaguely remembered a time when he had saved Steve from being beaten up. The only difference was that pre-Hydra Bucky had only kicked the man out of the way, whereas now… Now he was a monster. It terrified him to think about what he was capable of doing, how he had no quarrel with taking lives, and Steve didn't understand. He kept saying it wasn't his fault, that it was Hydra, that he would get through it, but he was wrong. He let Steve wrap his arms around him like he usually did, hoping to find the comfort and peace that he usually found in Steve's arms, but this time it did nothing. Hydra may have done the brainwashing but it was he who had chosen to kill those men. It came from himself, he had felt the rage, he had _wanted _them dead.

"Bucky?" He heard, and in his rage filled mood he pulled away from Steve to glare at Liz as she stepped towards him, her blonde hair matted with blood as it stuck to her pale face as she looked up at him.

"What?" He barked angrily at her but when he saw the fear that filled her sad, tired green eyes, he immediately calmed down. "I'm sorry…" He felt himself whisper, wanting to reach out and touch her, to reassure her, just to make sure she was real, but the way she stepped back when he turned towards her told him that was the worst thing he could do.

"We need to get out of here." She said, turning to look at Steve. "Is there anyone we can call? Anyone you trust?"

"Sam." Steve nodded, pulling out his phone but before he could do anything Liz had snatched it from his hands and started playing with it. "Hey!" Steve frowned.

"They could be monitoring your number." She explained, giving him her own phone. "They won't be able to track mine thought."

Steve took her phone and she looked at her surroundings. The place didn't seem to have any security cameras thankfully, the small parking lot being outside of town. It was also nearly empty and eerily quiet. "Bucky I need you to rip off the number plate from the car we stole so they don't find it too easily." She instructed him, not looking at him as she processed the information inside her head, planning their next move. "You can do that right?" She asked, looking up when he didn't move.

Bucky frowned and nodded, not questioning her. He was disgusted with himself, the fear she had in her eyes when she looked at him had made his self-loathing double to the point that he almost felt sick to his stomach. With his metal arm, he ripped the licence plate off the back of the car and crushed it into a ball of scrap metal before throwing it to the far corner of the parking lot. He went around the car and did the same with the front plate, pausing to stare at his metal hand. The hand that had killed so many innocent people, caused so much death and destruction.

Liz jumped a little when Bucky cried out in rage, the sound of metal hitting the floor slowly following. Steve was still on the phone to Sam so she got up and went over to Bucky, finding him on his knees between the wall and the car. His head was hung low, his long dark hair covering his face as he stared at his hands. "Bucky?" She whispered, stepping closer to him. When he didn't respond she sank to her knees before him, slowly taking his hands in hers. This caught his attention and he looked up at her, his eyes red and puffy as silent tears ran down his cheeks. "Oh Bucky…" She sighed as she leant forward and wrapped her arms around his neck without a second thought, recognising the same self-loathing that she had battled with for a long time.

Bucky melted in her embrace and buried his face in her hair, pressing his nose against her neck and breathing in. Her scent calmed him for some reason; touching her in any way always calmed him. "I'm sorry…" He muttered against her skin.

"You have nothing to apologise for." She soothed him. He admired her for the way she was coping with everything, for the way she had recovered from what Hydra did to her. He wanted to know everything about her, to know how long they had kept her, what they made her do, how she got away. He wanted to know what her favourite colour was, what her favourite food was, to make her smile and hear her laugh. He wanted to fix her. He knew that he couldn't fix the things he had destroyed, he'd be damned if he didn't at least try to fix her.

"Sam's coming to g…" Steve started, pausing when he saw his friends on the floor hugging each other. "Is everything…" He started, kneeling beside them and rubbing his hand over Liz's back. She turned her head, resting her cheek on Bucky's shoulder as she nodded, running her hand through Bucky's hair to comfort him.

"I'm fighting back." She told Steve as she clung to Bucky. "I'll be right behind you every step of the way and I won't stop until they're dead. They took my life, they took Bucky's. Now I'm gonna take theirs." She growled, and in that instant Steve could see just how much darkness she was hiding behind her broken shell. She wasn't a fighter like he and Bucky were, but she was every bit as tough.

When they got back to Sam's place, Bucky almost immediately locked himself in the bathroom. He needed to clean the blood off his hands and face, to remove the smell of death, but most of all he wanted to be alone. In the meantime, Steve spoke to Sam about the situation whilst Liz used Sam's computer to delete the CCTV footage of them walking into Sam's house.

Sam was rather taken aback by the whole thing. Now that Steve had found Bucky, he had expected them to lay low for at least a few months while he recovered, and Sam had taken the time to get back to his job and help people deal with the fear and panic that the helicarrier fight had caused. It was the second time Steve had called on him for help, and it reminded him of the first time when he had shown up with Natasha. "You have a knack for calling on me dude." He joked as he put a mug down on the table in front of Steve.

"I know and I'm sorry." Steve said calmly, picking up the drink. "I'll find a way to repay you one day, I promise. I shouldn't keep asking you for help."

"I told ya before; it's my honour to help Captain America. Especially as you always bring back pretty young ladies too." He added, smirking at Liz as she continued to type on his laptop. "I'll go get you some extra blankets so y'all can sleep in my spare room." He said, standing up, leaving Liz and Steve alone.

Liz waited a moment before turning to Steve as he sat beside her, drinking his hot cocoa. "Steve…" She started, blinking a few times as she searched for the right words. "Thank you." She eventually said, shrugging as she avoided his gaze. "You've been a… A good friend to me, yet I haven't really been one to you."

"There's no need to thank me." Steve smiled, catching her gaze. "And you have been a friend to me, in your own way. I should be the one thanking you, you've been such a great help with Bucky."

Liz sniffed, a small smile pulling at her lips. "You're a good man Steve, you don't get enough credit for it." She said, pursing her lips. "I trust you. That's a big thing for me."

"Hey, I'm here to help." He winked, brightening her smile. She wanted to really thank him, so she leant forward in the chair and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Thank you." She whispered against his neck, feeling his arms wrap around her in response.

"Anytime kiddo." He responded, smiling brightly as he hugged her, glad that she was finally coming out of her shell around him. "Let me take a look at that cut." He said, pulling away and brushing her hair out of her face to look at the patch of dried blood on her forehead.

It wasn't long until Sam collapsed back into bed and left the three of them to sort themselves out in Sam's guest room. It was tiny and only had two single beds pushed against either side of the room with little to no space between them. "I'll take the couch." Steve said as soon as he put his head in the doorway, grabbing one of the blankets and disappearing.

Liz took the bed on the right, feeling awkward as she got into bed wearing only one of Sam's large t-shirts over her underwear. She pulled the covers over her as Bucky turned the lights out, and she immediately tensed when she realised that it was dark. Pitch dark. She jumped out of bed and switched the light back on, having a hard time controlling her breathing as she turned around to find Bucky sitting up in bed, completely shirtless, staring at her. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." She lied, blinking at the floor as she pondered how this was going to work. She couldn't sleep with the light on yet she couldn't sleep in the pitch dark. "Open the shutter, will ya?" She asked, seeing as Bucky's bed was against the window.

He stared at her before nodding slowly, understanding the situation and pulling on the cord that opened the shutter until it was half-open and the light from the street lamps flooded through the white net curtains. Liz sniffed and turned off the light, taking deep breaths as her eyes adjusted to the darkened room. Bucky watched her as she crawled into bed and stared up at the ceiling.

Bucky couldn't sleep. His mind was racing, fleeting memories pulling at his mind as he remembered flashes of a young, skinny Steve, of smiling women that he couldn't remember, but most of all he remembered pain, pain he didn't understand, pain that he could physically feel and as he lay in the dark he clutched his shoulder, feeling the scars around where his metal arm joined his skin, and felt sick to his stomach. Faces flashed before his eyes, faces of men and women he didn't know, they eyes faded and cold and lifeless, and the blood… There was blood everywhere. He hated that arm, he hated everything it had done, and he wanted it gone. If he could just rip it off himself maybe he could –

"N-no…" Liz's silent whimper brought him out of his trance as he turned his head to look over to her. She was still asleep, but her face was contorted into a deep frown, her fists gripping the pillow. "No… NO!" She cried, thrashing around in bed.

Bucky didn't hesitate and jumped out of bed, leaning over her as he shook her shoulders to wake her up. "Liz, it's a dream, it's okay, you're -" he started but as soon as she opened her eyes she had one hand around his throat as she pushed him onto his back, straddling him as her eyes glared down at him. He didn't fight back. He simply laid his hands on hers and looked up at her. "It's me." He croaked, immediately feeling the grip on his throat relax as she blinked, her eyes turning back to normal.

"Bucky?" She whispered, her eyes filling with tears as she leaned over him, dropping her hands from his neck as she closed her eyes, feeling the hot tears fall over her cheeks.

Bucky shifted beneath her so he could sit up even though she was still straddling him, and he pushed her hair back, cupping her face. "Shhh…" He soothed her. "It was only a dream." He said softly, slowly caressing her cheek with his human thumb, barely even touching her with the metal one for fear of hurting her.

At his words she whimpered loudly and flung her arms around him, burying her face into his neck as she began sobbing, squeezing him tighter than he had thought her capable of. He happily returned the embrace, once again pressing his nose to her neck and taking in her scent, feeling his entire body relax with her proximity. When her crying stopped and her breathing returned to normal, he realised she wasn't going to let him go, and that suited him fine.

He swung them around, not letting her out of his embrace, and pressed his back against the wall as she curled up against him, pressing her body against his, burying her face against his bare chest as she sniffled, feeling protected and warm and surprisingly at peace. Bucky was her protection, her saviour, and she clung to him with desperation as he pulled the covers up over them and pressed his lips to her forehead. "We're in this together." He whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist as she rubbed her cheek against his chest, already falling back to sleep. "I'll never let you go." He closed his eyes, his fingers absentmindedly caressing her arm as he slowly joined her in the land of slumber.

Liz slowly came into consciousness feeling warm and comfortable as she nuzzled her face against the warmth that she had her arms wrapped around. When she became aware that she was actually clinging to Bucky, she lifted her head up to find him sound asleep, his mouth hanging open slightly as he breathed heavily, his metal arm tightly wrapped around her waist to hold her against him. She realised that whilst they slept, even their legs had become entwined but she didn't care, it was comforting. She lifted her hand and brushed his hair out of his face and stared at him. His lips were red and puffy, and his beard really needed shaving or at least trimming. The dark circles on his eyes looked lighter than they usually did, and his skin looked so soft that she couldn't help but trace the tips of her fingers down his cheek when he softly smiled. He was beautiful, really, truly beautiful and she couldn't tear her eyes off him.

"Morning." He muttered, not opening his eyes as he shifted his body and moaned, pulling her tighter against him as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Morning." She smiled against his skin, enjoying the warmth that radiated off his huge body. "Sleep well?" She mumbled, stretching her legs beneath the covers.

Bucky chuckled as she yawned and snuggled up against him, caressing her curves softly as he held her against him. "Very well." He purred, rubbing his cheek against the top of her head. "I don't think I've slept this well since… Well, since 1944."

Liz snorted as she looked up at him, cupping his cheek. "You need a shave." She told him, cocking an eyebrow. He rolled his eyes and groaned, making them both laugh. "Man I feel good." She said once she stopped laughing, rolling onto her back, careful not to fall off the small bed.

Bucky played with her hair as he looked at her, pressing his lips to her temple. "It's nice to see you smile." He said as she turned her head to look at him.

"Right back at ya." She smiled, finding herself lost in his eyes. Her heart started beating a little faster as she realised that he probably the best looking man she had met. Starting to feel awkward, she smirked and patted his cheek. "You really should shave before we leave."

Bucky scoffed but didn't tear his gaze from hers, questions burning away at him. "Liz…" He started, and regretted it when her eyes stopped shining and turned a little grim. "Could you tell me what happened to you… Just… One day, I wanna know everything about you. Steve tells me so much about everything, about our past together, about his life since he woke up from the ice, about… Hell about everything that goes through his mind." He smiled, thinking about his friend. "But you… You're a mystery." He added softly, watching the way her eyes fell, frowning ever so slightly.

"I've never… I've never told anyone." She whispered, her eyes flickering up to meet his. "I'll tell you. I promise." She said, forcing a smile as she tucked his hair behind his ear. "Maybe it will help jog some memories too. How are they doing anyway?"

Bucky shrugged. "Not that great. I get images mostly, flashes of people I can't remember, rushes of various feelings that I don't understand…" He explained, his voice drifting off. "But I'm getting a feel for who I was. At least concerning Steve. He's helping me a lot, all his ramblings about stuff we did together, it does jog memories now and then. I do feel very attached to him."

Liz smiled. "Good. I'm glad." She said, taking a deep breath. "Time to kick some Hydra butt I think." She said, getting out of bed. No sooner had she stood up did she find herself missing the feel of Bucky's arms around her, but she didn't do anything about it as she opened the door, intent on following the smell of bacon that was making her stomach grumble.

Steve noticed the change in both Liz and Bucky as soon as they appeared. For the first time they both looked fully rested and they instinctively stayed close to each other, sharing glances and smiles. Both Steve and Sam noticed and were pleased, they needed to work together as a team if they were to fight back against Hydra. Fury and Natasha had disappeared; Shield was down and couldn't be trusted, so it was just the four of them. As they ate their pancakes, with Bucky pouring ketchup and chocolate sauce over his with Sam arguing about how much of a sin it was, Steve realised that this was how things should be. They were laughing and smiling, they were rested and calm. Liz wasn't scanning the room every ten seconds for signs of danger and Bucky wasn't awkwardly quiet.

They agreed to start their search by infiltrating the Hydra base that Liz had escaped from. Hopefully it would provide the answers they needed, or at tell them where to look, so they suited up; Steve put on his Captain America outfit and Sam put on his wings. Liz quietly grabbed her backpack and locked herself in the bathroom whilst Bucky hesitantly put on some of Sam's spare military clothing – a familiar pair of black cargo trousers and a short sleeved navy t-shirt. The three men were finishing their preparations, gathering guns, bullets, tracking devices and anything else they had at hand, when the bathroom door opened and Liz stepped out in the outfit Hydra had made for her.

She swallowed under the intense gaze of the three men who had stopped what they were doing to just stare at her. She pulled her hair up into a tight pony tail at the top of her head, her bangs pulled back to show her face and the two scars that lined the side of her face that had previously gone unnoticed by all. She wore an outfit reminiscent to that of Romanoff's, yet completely different. The black material clung to her body, covering every inch of skin from the turtle-neck down to her toes. She wore a buckled corset around her waist on which were attached knives and grenades, with a gun holster on each side of her hips. Her knee-high boots were exactly the same as Bucky's, tightly laced with more weapons attached to them. Black leather gloves gave her extra grip and the black eyeliner she had smudged around her eyes darkened her appearance to a point where she was barely recognisable.

"What's the plan?" She asked as she stepped towards them, uncomfortable beneath their gaze. For the first time in her life she was glad to put on her uniform and was looking forward to being the last person her captives ever saw.

"I thought they didn't make you fight." Steve frowned as he looked at her.

"I infiltrated. Sometimes I got caught." She shrugged. "And sometimes I… Sometimes I had to help Bucky." She sighed, catching his gaze as he watched her, unsure about how he felt.

Steve looked from her to Bucky then to Sam. "Okay, let's do this."


	5. Chapter 5

_So, chapter 5 and things are getting a bit complicated. I hope things are easy enough to understand, but if they're not just give me a shout and I'll clear it up for you. And as usual I want to thank everyone for the feedback, and I want to thank angel897, This is a Creative Name, and abuseiamevablazevska for your beautiful reviews - this is what keeps me going, it really is. _  
_Also, if anyone reading this is a hardcore comic fan, then I'm afraid none of this is canon. I'm just inventing this as I go along, I have no idea what tMarvel is actually going to do with all the Hydra/Shield stories after Cap 2._

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Liz led them to the underground base she had escaped from two years previously. It was in downtown New York, hidden under a normal looking coffee shop that bustled with life. They waited until nightfall so they had the cover of darkness and, when the time came, kept their heads down as they walked past the front of the shop, overhearing the young people in there having a nice evening out, laughing and joking together. They turned the corner into the small alleyway that lined the side of the shop and pressed themselves against the wall where Liz pulled out a small gun as she prepared herself. She knew where the camera was, and she had one chance. She stuck her head and arm around the corner of the wall and easily shot the electric bug right at the camera before she sunk back in the shadows. She pulled out her phone and, thanks to the bug that was now attached to the camera, hacked into the security footage and got the cameras to replay the same footage of the last couple of hours so she could freely move around without getting caught on camera.

"That's one tough shit phone you got there." Sam whispered to her as he watched.

"Stark Industries military phone, modified by some of the world's best hackers." She smirked, winking at him as she put the phone away. "Alright we're clear." She added, getting up and walking around the corner with the three others right behind her. She pulled out a small explosive from her pocket and pushed it through the lock on the heavy steel hatch that covered the entrance to what looked like the cellar, and covered her ears. When it went off, she pulled out her pistol, Sam pulled out his pair of submachine guns, and Bucky armed himself with his rifle. Steve simply gripped his shield as they burst through the hatch and ran down the stairs, ready to shoot at any moment.

Within half a second, the two guards that were posted at the bottom of the steps were dead, and the long hallway that stretched both left and right of them was empty, eerily so. "Where do we go from here?" Steve asked as he stood in front of them protectively.

"I don't know." Liz shrugged. "I was locked up and it was a mess when I escaped, what with you busy fighting those aliens and everything."

"That's how you got out? We caused enough distraction for you to sneak out?" Steve asked, cocking his head as he thought back to Loki and the first time all the Avengers had come together. Liz nodded and Steve looked over to Sam. "Sam, you take Liz and go left. Bucky and I will go right."

They nodded and went their separate ways. A few feet down the corridor there was a glass door on the left, and Liz poked her head around the corner to look inside to find it empty. She snuck in, Sam closely behind her as they looked around and realised it was the security room. "No need to take out the camera, no one here to check." Sam scoffed as he looked up at the screens showing the fake security footage.

"Something's not right…" Liz frowned. "Why is this place so empty?" She leant over and started typing at the main computer whilst Sam opened one of the lockers to find it full of paperwork.

"Check this shit out." He said as he sorted through some of it. "Log entries about people coming and going… Brock Rumlow, some guy called John Garrett… even Alexander Pierce." He said, going through the names on the list.

"Take it." Liz told him as she groaned, standing up angrily from the chair. "I can't hack into their system, it's shut down from here."

"So? Can't you just go around that and reconnect?" Sam asked as he put the log books into his backpack.

"It was physically disconnected. They probably cut the wire." She groaned, glancing around the room one last time. "Come on, let's see what else is down here."

They continued down the hallway, looking back to see Steve and Bucky's small figures down the other end of the hall. Liz and Sam looked in the other rooms they came across, all just as empty as the security room. One had obviously been a meeting room with a large round table and chairs, and they came across a few offices that had all valuable information removed from them. The hall then turned right and they found the lights were flickering on and off; bringing them to higher alert as they quietly stepped forward, checking every room. There was a large science lab that made Liz feel very uncomfortable, and then they came across a few holding cells. She stopped in front of the third one and stared into it, her fingers sliding around the metal bars as she looked into the small dark room.

"Something wrong?" Sam asked, stepping beside her.

"I was in here." She whispered. "You see that dent in the wall over there? That was me." She reminisced. "The last few months I spent here were… Not easy." She muttered.

Sam put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. "Hey, that's all over, you're good now. You got a good thing going with the other two." He reassured her, bringing a sad smile to her lips but before she could respond there was a small crash at the end of the corridor.

They both gripped their guns tightly as they walked the few metres down to the room they heard the crash from. Sam went in first, Liz close behind as she scanned the darkened room, experiment tables turned over, shattered bottles littering the floor, the only light coming from the flashing lights out in the hallway. Liz tightened her grip on her pistol, holding it out in front of her as she carefully avoided stepping on some broken glass. When she heard breathing coming from behind one of the overturned tables, she waved her hand to Sam to let him know as she stepped towards the sound. She took a deep breath and kicked the table out of the way, aiming her gun.

"Don't shoot!" Curled up on the floor was a middle aged man wearing a doctor's coat, his dark hair messy as he raised his hands in the air. "Please, I'm unarmed."

Sam lowered his gun as the scientist stood up, trembling slightly under Liz's harsh gaze, her gun still aimed directly at the space between his eyes. "You…" He shook as he stared at her.

"You know him?" Sam darkly asked Liz, watching as her finger trembled over the trigger.

"He…" She stuttered, breathing heavily as she fought to stop herself from shooting the man then and there. "He's a monster."

Sam didn't need to know anything more to understand how she was feeling. "All right tough guy, tell us what happened here." He said, taking charge.

The scientist tore his gaze from the barrel of Liz's gun to stare at Sam, hardly believing what was going on. "You're going to believe that thing? If it has you thinking I'm the bad guy here then -" He started saying but before he could finish, Liz had whipped him with her pistol, sending him back against the table behind him, blood flying out of his mouth.

"Shut up and answer the question." She growled at him, gripping his coat around his neck and pressing the gun against his heart.

"Liz…" Sam cautioned her, looking around to make sure no one else was going to jump on them.

The doctor scoffed. "Liz?" He laughed. "You have no idea who you are, do you?"

Liz snared. "And you do?" She asked darkly, the anger boiling inside of her, making her arm shake as she kept the gun pressed against his chest. "Who am I?" She asked, but he kept laughing. "WHO AM I?" She shouted.

"A machine." He said calmly. Before Sam could even react, Liz had pulled the trigger and let his corpse fall to the ground.

"Oh, great!" Sam sighed, pissed off. "He could have given us information!"

She turned around to glare at him darkly, the eyeliner around her eyes accentuating how angry she was, the snarl on her lips not easing the fierceness of her gaze. "He got off lightly." She said, walking back out into the hallway.

Sam sighed sadly, checking the doctor's pockets in case he had anything of value then caught up with Liz who was already half way back to the entrance. They continued past the stairs that led outside and followed the corridor to where Steve and Bucky had gone. "So who was that guy?" Sam asked as they looked into more empty rooms, wondering where the other two were.

"One of the head scientists." Liz shrugged, not wanting to go into any more detail, and was saved from any more questions when they found the other two. Steve emerged from one of the rooms looking relieved to see them.

"You find anything?" He asked.

"Just some scientist." Sam replied, explaining to Steve what had happened.

Liz let them speak as she headed to Bucky who was hanging back against the wall, staring blankly at the floor with eyes full of horror. She slowly approached him, making sure that he saw her before she cupped his head in her hands to make him look at her. Words failed her, and instead she attempted to smile at him, letting him know that he wasn't alone.

Bucky closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her forehead, taking in the scent of her hair to calm himself. Pulling away from her, he looked through the glass wall into the darkened room, and Liz followed his gaze and her breath caught in her throat when she recognised the chair that Bucky got strapped to when they wiped his memory, when they fixed his arm, when they needed to do anything to him. "Bucky –" She started but he shook his head at her, and turned to Steve.

"We should leave before they realise we're here." Bucky said, ignoring Liz to look over at Steve.

"Yeah, I think we've got enough Intel anyway." Steve answered, lifting up a folder he had found. "You alright?" He asked Bucky, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Liz watched the two childhood friends as they interacted, the way Bucky leaned towards him, the way Steve seemed to glow with kindness and support as they set off back to the entrance. The bond they shared was deep and Liz had no doubt it would last forever.

They went back to the car and read through the file Steve had found. They needed to act quickly if they were to remain as undetected as possible; the base may have been emptied out but there had still been a doctor and two guards left behind, and they didn't know why. The file they found had nothing of value to them, but it did give them the location of another base which, to their horror, was inside a NYPD building. They parked the car two streets away and lingered in the shadows on the opposite side of the busy night time street, watching the building. "Any one of them could be Hydra." Sam grumbled as he watched policemen go in and out of the doors of the large building.

"All the more reason to find them." Steve said, making a point. "We can't exactly go in their guns blazing so I suggest we -"

"Hit me." Liz suddenly said, making all three men look at her. She dropped all her weapons to the floor, removed her corset and the top half of her suit, leaving her in a rather revealing white tank top and her tight black trousers. "Come on, someone punch me in the face." She said again, losing her patience.

When none of them moved, she sighed and punched Bucky, whose instincts made him punch her in return, sending her to the floor with the force of impact. Steve had to hold him back for a few seconds until Bucky calmed down, realising what he had just done, and Liz stood up, half laughing. "Okay." She nodded, untying her hair and letting it fall over her shoulders in a mess of blonde waves. "If things go wrong, just get out okay? No need for us all to get caught." She said, confusing the men as she stepped out of the shadows into the orange lamp light of night time NYC.

"What the hell is she doing?" Bucky groaned, about to follow her when Steve held him back.

"You need to stay hidden." Steve warned him, much to their regret. "I'm sure she knows what she's doing."

"By walking straight into the lion's den?" Sam snorted, attempting to cover his concern. He may not know Liz particularly well, but she was still his ally. They were a team and they looked after each other.

Thankfully Liz had left her communicator on her clothes so they could hear everything that was going on inside. "Can someone help me please?" They heard Liz sniffle as she got inside the building. They didn't hear anything for a while until she spoke again. "Please, my… my boyfriend he…" She sounded like she was crying, whimpering and unable to speak clearly.

"Christ, did he do this to you?" Another woman's voice was heard, obviously having come over to Liz.

"I don't know why… I thought he loved me…" Liz sniffed, again, making Sam nod in appreciation. She was a very good actress, he had to admit that.

"Come on, go clean yourself up in the bathroom and I'll get someone to take a statement if you want to give one." The woman said, and then the boys heard nothing but shuffling, doors opening and closing and the sound of typing, printing, phones ringing and people talking in the distance. "Miss?" They heard again eventually. "Do you want to give a statement now?"

"No…" Liz said, her voice much calmer than it had been. "I just want to go home."

"You shouldn't let him get away with that. The bastard sure knows how to pack a punch." The policewoman answered, her voice full of concern.

Liz sighed. "I will if he ever tries anything again, I promise. But I'd rather just forget it ever happened. Thank you so much for your help." She said, sounding honestly touched.

It was only a few seconds later that the boys saw Liz emerge from the front doors of the building, her head hung low as she turned a corner, going to the car rather than meeting up with them. They went after her and found her already typing away on her laptop when they got back into the car.

"I placed a bug on one of their computers." She told them, not lifting her eyes from her screen. "I'll be able to hack into their system and trace any suspicious emails or information or anything that could lead us to Hydra."

"Nice work." Sam smirked from the driver's seat, turning the engine on. He was impressed at how quickly and efficiently she worked, and he was ever so glad she was on their side. He was still worried about her after the way she had reacted at the base, the expression on her face as she had killed the doctor was one Sam wouldn't easily forget. But Sam knew that she was going to be alright if the look on Bucky's face was anything to go by.

They got back to Sam's place just after midnight, and this time it was Liz who rushed into the bathroom and locked herself inside. "Something's wrong." Bucky grumbled unhappily after she had slammed the door shut in his face. He hovered behind Sam as he poured himself a glass of water. "You were with her in that place, what happened?" He growled.

Sam looked up at Bucky and took a step back. "Whoa man, calm down."

Sam gave both Steve and Bucky a detailed explanation of what happened, from the prison cell she had paused at, to the look on face as she pulled the trigger.

Liz stared at her reflection as she stood in front of the mirror in Sam's bathroom. Her eye was already sporting an ugly bruise thanks to Bucky, but she was used to that. Her wet hair was hanging almost down to her waist, golden and slightly wavy as she brushed it. She wondered if her mother had the same hair, or if she had her father's hair. The only reason she was so invested in the fight against Hydra was because she wanted –needed- to know who she was. The answer was out there somewhere, and she was ready to spend an eternity looking for it. She had to be more than the number tattooed on her arm, she just_ had_ to be.

Instead of joining the men in the kitchen, she ignored them and went straight to bed, leaving the shutters open as she got into bed, curling up under the covers with the wall against her back, trying to imagine her parents as she drifted off to sleep.

Steve and Sam went to bed shortly after, leaving Bucky in the kitchen by himself. He was still armed to the teeth, uncomfortable with the idea of removing the guns and knives from his body. He suddenly remembered a night from not long ago when he had gone to find Alexander Pierce. He remembered that Pierce had poured himself a glass of milk just to spite him, and Bucky found himself getting a glass of milk from Sam's fridge to reassure himself that he did indeed still have free will. He took a sip and found he didn't even like milk, pouring the rest down the drain as he sighed, leaning against the sink.

He still struggled with everything. He walked aimlessly though Sam's small house, pausing for a second to stare at Steve as he slept on the sofa, spread out with the blanket loosely covering him, his t-shirt twisted against his chest. Bucky sighed, forcing himself to replay the few memories he had uncovered, times when Steve had been a skinny, sick young boy that Bucky had defended time and time again. Even now, standing over the tough, muscular Captain America, Bucky felt protective over him. He couldn't explain it, all he knew what that Steve was everything to him, like an anchor keeping him from going insane. He was the only one that he truly trusted… Well, not the only one.

Bucky silently crept into the room he shared with Liz, shutting the door before sitting on the edge of his bed across from her, watching her sleep. She was beautiful, even in his broken, barely human mind he could tell she was stunning. He knew he had a thing for blondes back in the forties, and despite her pale, pasty skin, the nasty looking scars that ran across the side of her face, the dark circles under her eyes and her scared, beaten posture, Bucky couldn't stop himself from admiring her. He hated himself for the bruise that was forming on her face because of him, her eye a little swollen and he knew the next day it would be painful. He also regretted thinking that Steve was the only one he could trust. Liz had proven herself to him, maybe not in combat but she had helped him in ways Steve couldn't, she made him feel… He couldn't even put words to the way she made him feel. Whenever he held her, he not only felt protective of her, but he felt like he was important, like there was a point to his existence. With Steve, he just felt like a burden, a depressing reminder that Steve's best friend had died. Things were different with Liz. She was sleeping better thanks to him, she was learning to relax, and it made his chest swell with pride that he managed to make something better rather than worse.

"You gonna sit there all night?" She suddenly whispered, her eyes still closed and taking him by surprise. When he didn't answer, she opened her eyes and rolled onto her side to look at him. "I trained myself to know when someone's watching me sleep. It can lead to… Unpleasant surprises." She shrugged, answering his silent question. Bucky continued to watch her silently, gritting his teeth as he imagined what she meant. "Bucky?" She frowned, sitting on the edge of her bed in front of him. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Bucky shook his head, closing his eyes. "You were a child…" He muttered. "At least I was a fully grown man when they took me but you…" He sighed, feeling his whole body tense up in anger.

"Yeah well…" She shrugged. "Shit happens."

Bucky stared at her, his eyebrows half way up his head as his mouth hung open in horror. "What?" He said. "How can you say that?"

Liz shrugged sadly, blinking away tears that had crept up on her without her realising. "You should get some sleep." She said, changing the subject. "And take those weapons off first." She added with a small smile, but Bucky didn't move. She waited for a reaction from him but when she got none, she sighed and stepped out of bed, doing it herself.

She started with the straps around his chest that were holding knives and a pistol, and she placed them on the bed beside him. He still wouldn't move, so she got onto her knees and took his boots off, placing them beside hers, smiling to herself as she realised his boots dwarfed hers even though they were the same. "Bucky…" She sighed, knowing the next part was his t-shirt and cargo pants. She stood in front of him but he turned his head to look the other way so she sighed loudly to make him realise that he was being childish. In truth, Bucky preferred that she think he was being childish rather than let her know that he was torn between feeling angry at her for not caring about herself, and feeling... things that were foreign to him. All she had on was a fitted tank top and boxer shorts, and the intimacy of her undressing him was sending signals to him that he had completely forgotten.

Sure he remembered what sex was, he had awoken one night after a particularly vivid dream about one of the girls he used to know but this, right there with Liz, felt different. He was fighting against himself to not simply pull her down on top of him and bury his face in her neck, to hold her against him and to just feel her. She started to pull on his t-shirt when he finally snapped, pushing her back. Forgetting the strength in his metal arm, she was sent flying back onto her own bed, banging her knee against the frame of the bed and falling onto the mattress, letting out a painful grunt as she fell.

Bucky was immediately on his feet, turning her over. "I'm sorry." He stuttered, panic filling his eyes as he watched her roll her eyes, sitting herself up.

"It's fine." She waved him off her. "Sorry for… Making you uncomfortable or whatever."

"I wasn't uncomfortable." Bucky immediately responded before he could stop himself. Liz frowned as he sat beside her on her bed, staring down at the floor as he licked his lips. "I'm just…" He sighed, pausing for a while. "I'm still struggling between fighting you and…"

"And what?" Liz asked quietly, slightly afraid of where he was going.

"What will you do when you find out who you are?" Bucky asked, turning to look at her.

"When?" She laughed quietly. "You mean if." She smiled at him but it quickly faded when she realised he was being deadly serious. "I don't know Bucky, I…" She shrugged, frowning to herself. "I guess I'll go find my parents, if they're alive… If not I guess I'll find their graves or... Something..."

"And after that?" He asked, leaning towards her.

She stared at him, wrapping her arms around his arm as she pressed her forehead against his. "I haven't thought that far yet." She whispered, closing her eyes. "I guess we'll see."

"Whatever you do, I'll be there with you." Bucky found himself saying. Liz sat back up straight, cocking her head as she stared at him, making him regret what he said. "If… If you want me to be, that is… I mean, I could always just, you know" He stuttered but to his surprise she flung her arms around his neck and started crying.

"Thank you." She sobbed against his neck, feeling his arms slide around her waist as he turned his body to pull her against his chest, letting him move her as he wished. She didn't care, he could do anything to her and she would let him. She had given up fighting him, he hadn't just cracked her shell, he had blown it to smithereens. "Thank you so much…" She said again, pressing her lips to his neck, squeezing him tightly.

Bucky closed his eyes as he brushed his lips against her neck, running his hands up her back. Holding her like this was his favourite thing, he would be happy to do it all the time for hours and hours. It made him feel safe, human, and peaceful. It was warm and loving and intimate, soft yet desperate. He found himself laying her down on the bed as he laid himself beside her, and no sooner was he comfortable did she snuggle up tightly against him, sighing happily as she nestled against his chest and fell asleep quickly. Bucky smiled to himself as he brushed her hair with his fingers, deciding that's how he wanted to go to sleep every night for the rest of his life.

It was around five in the morning when Bucky twitched awake, feeling like something was wrong. He was lying on his back, his arms protectively wrapped around Liz as she slept with her head on his chest, one of her legs tucked between his as she breathed heavily. He looked around, listening to the quietness of the house and decided he didn't like it.

He gently pushed Liz onto her side so he could get out of bed, grabbing one of his knives that they had left on the other bed as he quietly opened the door, looking through the house. He could hear Sam snoring from inside his bedroom, and as he stepped into the living room he found Steve holding his shield as he slowly crept towards the window. Steve put his finger over his lips and Bucky waited, standing in front of the hallway to stop anyone from getting to the bedrooms, watching as Steve slowly pushed the curtain to one side to look outside.

No sooner had he done that did the front door get knocked down and men flooded in, firing in every direction. Bucky ducked and rolled on the floor to get behind the kitchen counter to shield himself from the gunfire, having felt himself switch to the Winter Soldier almost immediately.

Liz shot awake with a bolt and looked around the room desperately, panic rising inside of her when she realised Bucky was not with her anymore. She picked up the gun that was on the bed, noticing that one of the knives was missing, and listened to the gunfire battle that was going on in the living room of Sam's house. She opened the door slightly to look out and assess the situation. She immediately recognised the Hydra uniform and saw Steve's shield fly past the small gap she was looking through. She also recognised Bucky's voice as he groaned in pain, catching her attention as she flung the door opened and shot the first man she saw, the bullet piercing the helmet between the eyes as she ran into the room, forgetting that she was only in boxers and a tank top.

Steve knew they had to get out of there as soon as possible. He didn't know how Hydra had found them but he knew that the mass of men that had the house surrounded wasn't going to be the end of it. As he took out a couple of soldiers, he looked over to Liz as she threw herself protectively in front of Bucky as he pulled out a knife from his human arm, fire burning in his eyes as he flipped it round and pushed it into the neck of the man trying to shoot Liz. When Sam appeared, Steve took charge. "Sam, get the bags, we've gotta get out of here!"

Sam nodded and rushed back to the bedrooms as Steve punched a guy in the face and watched him fall to the ground with a knife sticking out his back. Steve looked around to find that all the soldiers were dead, and Liz put a hand on his shoulder. "You alright?" She asked, her green eyes piercing though him as Bucky joined them, looking at the men at his feet.

"You two get dressed." Steve told them. "Sam and I will have the car ready in 5."

"Make it 2." Bucky mumbled as he hurried after Liz, his bare feet almost slipping in blood.


	6. Chapter 6

I know this one took a bit longer than normal to publish, but I had to completely rewrite it. My laptop screen broke so but luckily I can borrow my brother's while it's in repairs, but it means I don't have my notes or anything on the story for the moment, so I really had to dig my brain for this. And I know I started on some heavy action on the last chapter, and I promise it's not the last of it. I just wanted to focus a bit on character development for a while before getting back to the action in the next chapter. Also I'm really not as confident about this chapter as I was about the others, I'm good with action, not so good with daily routines and stuff so... yeah.

Anyways, enough of me ranting on forever. A huge thank you to angel897, iamevablazevska and Robyn Storm-Romanoff Turner (FAVOURITE FANFICTION EVER? NO WAY THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH) for your wonderful reviews. I know I say it every time but it really does keep me going, I just want to hug you allllllll.  
Okay time for me to shut up now.

* * *

They had been driving for a few hours in an uncomfortable, unhappy silence when they stopped at a gas station, and Steve went to fill up the car whilst Sam went inside the shop for a few things. Liz looked over to her right to look at Bucky, his huge body huddled against the window as he stared blankly out of the window, his face wiped of any emotion. " Bucky? " She murmured.

Hearing her tired, worried voice made Bucky sigh. He closed his eyes and hung his head, feeling overcome with guilt. More memories had surfaced during their fight, and they were not easy to deal with. He was trying to push them back, trying to just focus on the present because if remembering hurt that much, then maybe it wasn't worth it. " That attack wasn't your fault... " Liz murmured, her fingertips lightly gliding over the back of his metal hand as it rested on the seat on his left. He looked down at her hand, so small and delicate compared to the ugly chunk of metal that he hated so much, but nonetheless he turned his hand over so their fingers intertwined.

" I meant what I said last night. " He mumbled tentively, not tearing his gaze from their hands, loving the way she absentmindedly stroked his hand with her thumb. " No matter what happens I want to be with you, but... " He paused then sighed heavily, pulling his hand away to put it in his lap.

" But what? " Liz asked softly, scooting over from her side of the car to sit right beside him, brushing his dark locks out of his face so she could try to read his expression better. " Bucky what's wrong? I thought... " She whispered, frowning heavily as she watched him close his eyes tightly, not understanding what was going on in his head. " I'll be always be here for you. " She whispered, wrapping her arms around his metal arm as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Bucky pushed back a sob as the feel of her body pressed against his made his stomach flutter, the need to wrap his arms around her and cradle her was overwhelming him. " I just don't want to hurt you again... " He whispered and she shot up, tuning his head so that he looked at her, looked at the ugly black eye that she had because of him.

" This eye isn't your fault. " She said aggressively. " I punched you with the sole purpose of getting you to hit me back. I needed this black eye, it got us what we needed and - " She started but Bucky was having none of it.

" It's not just the eye Liz. " He groaned. " It's the time I snapped and nearly killed you in the kitchen. It's all the times I had to lock myself in the bathroom to keep myself from killing anything in sight. It's the times I accidentally gripped you too tightly with this... thing. " He growled, shaking his metal hand in the air with a look of disgust. " And don't even try to say that's not true. " He snapped when she opened her mouth. " I don't know my own strength, and this metal arm isn't any good either, I keep hurting you. I can see it in your eyes even though you try to hide it and brush it off. We shouldn't sleep in the same bed anymore, we shouldn't even... We should just... " He whimpered, gritting his teeth.

" Bucky, you listen here and you listen well. " Liz said adamantly, cupping his face to keep him looking at her. " When you care for someone, you don't just stay for the good, you deal with the bad and you help when you can. You take all the crap and carry it on your shoulders to support the other. That's all I'm doing, and I'm not going to stop. You're fucked up, and believe me so am I, that's why we need each other. I'm here for you no matter what, and if it costs me a few bruises here and there then I'm happy to bear them. " She told him, her thumbs caressing his cheeks as his icy blue eyes stared into hers, lined with red as he desperately held the tears in. " I need you Bucky, as much as you need me. And this? " She said, taking his metal hand in between hers and bringing it up to show him. " This is part of you now. It's not a separate thing, it's yours. It does what you tell it to do, and you choose to do what you want. You are free, and this isn't just a thing, it's your arm, as much a part of you as your other arm. Now please stop this self destructiveness. " She pleaded.

" Because you love yourself so much. " He argued, trying not to show how much her words touched him, his throat tight with emotion. Why was she so good to him?

" We're not talking about me. " She frowned, shaking her head. He had a point though, she wasn't a good example to follow.

" Well maybe we should. " Bucky said softly, hearing the barely noticeable tremor in her voice. " How about we make a deal. I let you help me if you let me help you. "

Liz laughed quietly and brushed his hair out of his face. " I think you have yourself a deal there mister Barnes. " She smirked.

" I'm glad to hear that, my little mystery girl. " He smirked back, brushing his finger down her nose delicately just as Steve opened the car door to sit at the wheel.

" Sam still in the shop? " He asked, getting a nod from Bucky. " Well, I just got a call from a friend, he says even the feds are after us so we really gotta lie low for a while so things settle down. We have nothing on Hydra and we need a plan so... " He frowned, unsure of what to do.

" Whose your friend? " Liz asked, not trusting a potentially unreliable source.

" Tony Stark. " Steve said, smiling when he saw her double take.

" Stark? " Bucky repeated, looking lost in thought. " Did I... Do I know him? " He asked.

" You knew his father, Howard Stark. " Steve said. " You remember him? " He asked hopefully, smiling as he looked at Bucky.

" I wouldn't say remember exactly... It just feels familiar. " Bucky shrugged.

They kept driving and eventually found a small abandoned house just out of a national park on the border between Ohio and West Virginia. By that time the sun was starting to set on a long day of driving, and they were all glad to be able to get out of the cramped car and stretch their legs. The location was perfect – even though they weren't in the national park, all they could see for miles around was woods and open plains and more woods. The nearest town was really small, and even that was miles out from where this house stood.

Tony Stark was right. Hydra, Shield and the government were all after them. They had no useful information they could use to track down Hydra, so the only option they had was to lie low and just disappear for a while. Stark promised Steve he would keep and eye on things for them and keep them updated, so really all they had to do was make the most of their down time to recuperate.

The house they had chosen was invisible from the street, the small muddy path took a good couple of minutes through brambles and overgrown trees before it reached the run down white wooden house that stood in the middle of an opening. Despite the garden having grass that almost reached their knees, the front door hanging off it's hinges and most of the windows boarded up to cover the broken glass, the four friends stepped up to it and decided that it would be their home. A little work needed to be done of course – for a start they needed to turn the water back on and get it hooked up to electricity, and fix the hole in the roof and repair the windows and install a bathroom and kitchen but that was only detail. Liz hung back as the others looked around, making a note of everything that needed doing, and simply stared. An actual home of her own? Sure she had an apartment back in Washington but it hadn't really been hers at all. She had bought it under a false name with stolen money and hadn't changed a bit of it after it had stopped being used as a showroom. But this place needed restoring, and every part of it would be personal. It was a broken wreck, a shell of something that should be warm and welcoming and happy. She stepped on a piece of broken glass and looked down, catching herself in the reflection. The house wasn't the only empty shell that needed fixing.

After sleeping on the ground for the first night, they got to work quickly. Sam had hidden talents in fixing water pipes and it turned out Steve was pretty good at fixing the roof. By the end of the first full day, they had running water, electricity and had cleaned up the inside of the house ready for refurbishment. The next day, Liz went with Sam into town to buy the bathroom suite and kitchen, as the two of them wouldn't be recognized as easily as Steve and Bucky would be.

While they were out, the two super soldiers were busy fixing the window in the bathroom, installing a new one in the hopes that they could fit the whole bathroom in that day. They were fed up of having to use a bucket instead of a toilet and they all badly needed a shower. " Maybe we could keep this place after everything's sorted. " Steve commented as they worked together on the window. Bucky didn't answer him, brushing the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He had swept his long hair back into a messy bun after watching Liz do the same to her hair, but what had been stubble on his cheeks was now turning into a full on beard. With the sweat pants he wore and the white t-shirt covered in dust and grease from their work, he really looked nothing like the Bucky that Steve had grown up with. " You always wanted a house in the country, remember? "

" No Steve, I don't remember. " Bucky mumbled, twisting the screwdriver.

" Well, do you remember that summer we went with your parents out of town and stayed at that farm for - " Steve tried, wanting to jog his memory but instead Bucky turned around to face him with a stern, unhappy look on his face.

" I don't remember Steve. " He snapped. " I don't remember how we met, I don't remember what my parents looked like, or what farm we stayed at, or what plans I had for a normal life. All I remember is pain and death. " He said flatly, turning back to his work.

Steve was left dumbfounded, and put a hand on Bucky's shoulder. " It's okay Buck, I'm sorry for pushing. You'll remember in your own time, become yourself again. "

" No Steve! " Bucky cried, stepping back abruptly. " I won't be myself again. That boy you grew up with died a long time ago! " He almost shouted angrily. He felt like a huge disappointment, he was constantly trying to become the old Bucky but he knew it wasn't going to happen. He was letting everyone down and he couldn't take it anymore. " War... It kills you Steve. It gets inside your head and poisons you. Even without Hydra, even without everything else that happened... The war tore me apart, it did everyone. Ask anyone who survived the war Steve, they'll tell you the same. It changes you. " His voice was becoming weaker with every word he spoke, but he had to continue. Steve, though horrified and saddened, was glad Bucky was finally opening up to him. " I'm never going to be that Bucky again, I can't be and to be honest I don't want to be. "

" Then who do you want to be? " Steve asked carefully.

Bucky shrugged, shaking his head. " Someone. Anyone... Myself. " He said, looking up to meet Steve's gaze. " I want to be myself. "

His voice was desperate, almost pleading for Steve to agree with him. Despite it all, Bucky wanted – needed – Steve. He felt like family to him, and though he didn't remember everything, he remembered the important parts. He remembered how Steve made him smile, remembered how stubborn he was, remembered how they were constantly together. Steve Rogers was his family, and Bucky needed to make him proud.

When they head the car pull up outside a couple of hours later, Bucky followed Steve outside to find Liz laughing loudly at something Sam had said. She was laughing so hard she was having trouble breathing, leaning on the hood of the car as Sam laughed beside her, telling her the end of his story. Bucky watched as Liz wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye, trying to calm down and tapping Sam on the shoulder as she made her way to the back of the car to help Steve unload. Her blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun at the back of her neck, and she looked beautiful in the fitted black t-shirt and torn jeans she was wearing.

Bucky watched the three of them grin at each other as they laughed again, wondering how to bring in the large boxes that they had just about managed to fit inside the car. Liz grabbed one of the smaller boxes and held it in both her arms against her chest as she made her way towards the front door, stopping in front of Bucky as she did. " Everything alright? " She asked him, noticing the sad look in his eyes.

" Everything's fine. " Bucky nodded, flashing her a quick smile before going to help Steve lift the heavy box that the shower came in.

After a day's work, they finally had a toilet and a shower, though the sink was still dismantled in pieces across the floor, but they didn't care. With the few toiletries that they had picked up in town, they all showered and shaved before having a barbecue in the back garden on the small decked area outside the back door. Sam pulled out a bottle of whiskey and Liz got onto the internet and searched for various styles of music to introduce Bucky and Steve to, deciding it was time they got up to speed on modern music. Sam agreed, but the two of them bickered over which styles so Bucky suggested they just test every genre there was. By the time the stars shone brightly in the night sky, the bottle of whiskey was empty and Bucky was arguing with Sam over the modern usage of jazz instruments whilst Liz giggled loudly at them, leaning against Steve to keep herself upright as the blond man simply smiled, the super soldier serum making him the only sober one there. But it was a good night, and Steve cherished it. The three people around him were good people, people he would fight and die for, people he loved.

The next couple of weeks passed in the same manor. They finished the bathroom, replaced the kitchen, replaced all the doors and windows, repainted and wallpapered every wall, carpeted or varnished the floor, mowed the lawn and removed the moss from the decked area outside the kitchen. They had even knocked a wall down, turning what had been two small bedrooms into one big one as Liz and Bucky refused to have different bedrooms, instead buying a large four poster bed for the two of them.

Bucky wanted Liz to decorate their room, but she had refused. She insisted that it was their room and that they should choose together, so they had gone into town together one afternoon and spent hours ploughing through different wallpapers, paints, bed frames, carpets, curtains and anything else you could think of. In the end they had chosen to go with something quite vintage, painting three walls a calming moss green, and they wallpapered the last wall to look like the forest, a large wall of trees against which they had pushed their wooden four poster bed with thin white voile curtains around it, tied up to the corners to soften the wooden posts. They varnished the wooden floor and spread a large beige rug in the centre of the room, something both Liz and Bucky loved to walk on as it was really soft under their feet. They also bought an antique French chest of draws for their clothes and dark green curtains for the large window that looked out onto the garden, but the curtains were thin enough to let a fair amount of light into the room so Liz was able to sleep peacefully. The style had surprised Steve, who had gone for a much more masculine and functional style reminiscent of the 1940s, but he had to admit he found the room exceptionally calming.

The renovation kept them busy all day, but while they worked, Sam and Liz continued to help Steve and Bucky discover modern music. They went through every style imaginable, from rap to metal, from opera to dubstep, and the two super soldiers carefully took note of what they did and didn't like. Usually they agreed, but where Steve tended to prefer traditional styles, with simple riffs and meaningful, beautiful lyrics, Bucky tended to identity more with things that had a slight industrial tinge to them, or music that had pained, twisted lyrics or even angry violent riffs. No one said anything about it because they all understood why he preferred that, but it always hurt Steve whenever he caught Bucky frowning deeply as he listened to the lyrics of a particularly depressing song, something Liz tended to do as well.

When they weren't working, they would watch movies and shows together. Bucky had wanted to finish the Harry Potter movies that they had started at Steve's place, and then they had moved on to a variety of other classics, from musicals to comedy to action or sci-fy. Sometimes they drank a glass of whiskey whilst they watched, or a bottle of beer with a pizza, but they loved spending time together. In the evenings, Sam would enjoy teaching Bucky how to cook, and Liz would spend time with Steve as they read up on the major events of the past few decades – Steve hadn't been awake to witness them and Liz had never been allowed to know.

Liz would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and instead of going back to sleep, she would walk around the house and touch everything to remind herself that it was all real. She felt increasingly outcast from the others, because the more Bucky remembered, the more he became relaxed, the more it would tear at her inside because she still had no idea who she was. It ate at her inside, drove her mad. All she wanted was a name, just a name. When she felt really down, she would sit on the sofa and stare at the photograph that Steve had insisted on displaying on the wall – it was a picture of all four of them together. Sam had taken it as a selfie, and his face took up the left corner of the photo, only his forehead, eyes and nose and the top of his smile fitted into the picture. Steve was right behind him, a large grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around Bucky who was smiling down at Liz who had her eyes closed because she was laughing too hard. It wasn't a good picture really, as it was lopsided and a little out of focus, but they were all smiling and close together, and even though it didn't give her a name, it gave her a purpose. Those three men had basically taken her in, made her part of their family, and taught her how to smile. Sometimes she had a hard time dealing with the amount of love she felt for them, she was just so grateful.

It was that same picture that Bucky would stare at in the mornings when he woke up before the sun came up. He was always the first to wake up, and then when Sam and Steve got up and took their morning run, Bucky would climb the ladder to get onto the roof and stare at the pink and red sky as the sun rose above the trees and fields that surrounded their house. It was his escape, his way to reflect on everything. Even though everything was alright around him – he was safe, he was free, he had a home and people around him who loved and supported him – he still felt like he was at war inside of himself. He felt guilty for everything he had done for Hydra, felt guilty for not being out there tracking them and taking them down, felt guilty for not being the 'old Bucky'. He was trying to feel better, he really was because he knew that the others were desperate for him to be happy, but it just wasn't happening. The only time he felt the weight lift from his shoulders a little was on the odd nights when Sam pulled out the alcohol.

One evening he really had drunk far too much, downing a bottle of whiskey all by himself and went to pour himself some of the tequila that Sam had bought when Steve snapped. They argued, shouted at each other and Liz decided to calm things down by bringing Bucky inside. As she took hold of his hand, he snapped back into the Winter Soldier for the first time in weeks, and he pushed her away violently with his metal arm and she flew backwards, hitting the wall hard and falling to the floor. Bucky then shoved Steve roughly and ran off, disappearing into the darkness. By the time Liz pulled herself to her feet, her world spinning from the force of the impact, Bucky was gone. " What are you waiting for? Go after him! " She cried, and Steve ran off down the path.

" Are you alright? " Sam asked as he helped her stand up, guiding her to the sofa.

" Fine. " She groaned, knowing she was badly bruised.

Sam snorted and lifted her t-shirt up to take a look at her back. " Well, you'll be happy to know you've already got a nice bunch of bruises. " He told her, pressing her ribs slightly and making her flinch. " But nothing's broken. "

" That's the last thing on my mind right now Sam. " She sighed, flinching in pain again as she adjusted herself on the sofa.

" He'll be fine. " He reassured her, putting a hand on her knee. " He just snapped and felt a little guilty, I'm not surprised given the amount that he drank... "

" That's why I'm worried... " She muttered. " He drinks too much. "

" He copes in his own way. " Sam shrugged. " It's a tempting solution, believe me I know. But we got his back, he's got the support he needs. He just needs time ya know? "

Liz closed her eyes and sighed, hoping he was right. She leant her head on his shoulder and waited... And waited... And waited. Eventually Sam decided to bake a cake. It was late but that's what he when he was stressed - he cooked. That was how he coped when he got back from the war, and that was what he was going to continue doing. Liz simply waited for Steve and Bucky to return, but when Steve did come back a few hours later, he was by himself. He shook his head miserably as he went to sit beside her. " He'll come back on his own. He's drunk, he probably just needs to be by himself for a while. He always used to - "

" No. " She shook her head. " Steve I never knew Bucky before Hydra got to him, but I know who he is now and I'm telling you, he'll be too ashamed to come back by himself. "

Steve closed his eyes and stared at her. " I guess I'm not really helping him am I. " He sighed.

" Of course you are! " She frowned. " You're the one who saved him Steve, you did all the hard work. You've brought so many of his memories back, and me... " She shrugged.

They were silent for a moment until Steve sighed heavily. " Does he ever speak to you about his memories? "

Liz shook her head. " I ask him occasionally, but he always brushes it off. I think he feels guilty for having a family and a life before Hydra whereas I don't... I try to tell him that it's okay, but... "

Steve nodded. " He didn't say that exactly but yeah, I kinda guessed that. " Steve sighed and looked over at the picture on the wall.

Liz closed her eyes and forced herself to her feet. " Look, you get some sleep, and maybe put Sam in bed too, he fell asleep at the table a while back. I'll go out and find him. " She said.

Steve nodded and stood up, wrapping his arms around her. " Thank you Liz. " He smiled.

She shook her head and ruffled his hair as she pulled back, a sad smile on her lips. " No, thank you. " She said quietly before getting up, adamant that she would find Bucky before the sun came up.

It had been raining on and off for the past couple of days but as she drove through the streets of the nearest town, the rain was battering down on the windscreen and she had trouble seeing where she was going, driving slowly as she scanned the streets for any sign of Bucky. After two hours of searching, she finally saw a dark figure sitting on the pavement under a lamp post, his feet bare as his long dark hair stuck to his face in the rain.

" Bucky? " She called as soon as she got out the car.

Bucky didn't look up. He was staring at the puddle in front of him, glad that the rain hid the tears that had been falling down his cheeks. Even as she crouched beside him, he refused to move, but when she wrapped her warm arms around his shoulders and softly kissed his cheek, he felt his body wrack with silent tears, feeling her hold on him tighten. " It's okay babe, it's okay. " She hushed him, closing her eyes as she kissed his wet hair, wiping it out of his face as she cradled him against her.

Bucky had accidentally called her 'babe' one night when she was nervously checking and rechecking that the doors were locked, wanting her to come to bed and get some rest. It had slipped out of his mouth accidentally, but after some teasing they had gotten used to calling each other like that when they were by themselves. As he sat there under the pouring rain at three o'clock in the morning, the name only pinched his heart more and he turned to face her, his hands gripping her waist as he pulled her against him, burying his face in her neck. " I'm sorry... I'm sorry, so sorry... " He sobbed, his hands not knowing where to settle as he pulled at her clothes, played with her hair and held her arms.

" Shh... " She whispered, pulling away to make him look at her. " Just come home, everything's going to be alright. "

" I never... I didn't want to hurt you. Not again... " Bucky muttered, pressing his forehead against hers, cupping her face as he pleaded with her. " You're everything to me, I just... " He closed his eyes to control his breathing, sniffing. " I can't do it without you. "

" You'll never have to. " She whispered back, brushing his hair out of his face again, the heavy rain dripping down their faces.

Their eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity, and despite the wind and the rain, despite the darkness and tears, they felt warm and loved. Liz felt her stomach flutter as she felt Bucky's breath against her lips. He noticed the way her gaze changed and chose that moment to do what he had been thinking about doing for a long time. He slowly pressed his lips against hers, his hands gently caressing her neck as he held her close to him, softly moving his mouth against hers and feeling his whole body ignite at the feel of her.

Liz flung her arms around his neck as she kissed him back, pulling at him, wanting him closer, needing to feel him against her. The pain in her back from the bruises vanished, but she could feel him, smell him, hear him, Bucky was everywhere. Her heart was beating a million beats a second and when he finally pulled back, they were left panting slightly, small smiles on their lips as they looked at each other. " Come home, I can't be without you. " She said quietly, brushing her nose against his.

Bucky nodded deeply and let her help him onto his feet, letting her lead him to the passenger side of the car and open the door for him. Before he got in, he leant down and pressed his lips to hers once more, loving the way she smiled at him when he pulled back.

Bucky opened his mouth to speak but Liz lifted her finger to his lips. " Let's just get you dry, eh? " She smiled, caressing his cheek one last time before she went around the car to drive them back home.

Once they got back, Bucky insisted that Liz take a shower first. After all, she had only gotten soaked because of him, and he wanted to see if Steve and Sam were still awake so that he could apologize to them.

After making sure Bucky had a clean, fluffy towel to dry himself with, Liz turned on the bedside light and got into bed whilst he showered. She was busy reading a news article that Steve had suggested when Bucky came in. She looked up and did a double take. " You cut your hair? " She asked, raising her eyebrows as he came over to the bed slowly, scratching the back of his neck.

It was short and messy, a few inches long at the top and a bit shorter at the sides. " You don't like it? " Bucky muttered quietly, nervously scratching his feshly shaved cheek as he sat on the bed beside her.

" I do. " She smiled, cocking her head to the side as she turned to face him. She ran her hand through his hair and nodded, smiling brighter. " I can still run my fingers through it so yeah, I like it. It suits you. " She said quietly, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him.

He happily returned the embrace, his body melting against hers as he slipped down the bed a little and lay her onto her back, hovering over her as he looked down at her. The bruise that had covered her eye had finally gone and she was looking more beautiful than ever. Her green eyes shone up at him as she smiled gently, her blonde hair fanning around her head like a halo, and he smiled. " You're everything I ever wanted. " He admitted. " I remember the kind of girl I used to want, even before Hydra... And you're her, in every way. I guess there's still a trace of the old Bucky somewhere after all. " He chuckled lightly, in awe of the smile on her face.

" So that's where you picked up all this charm, eh? " She teased him, her fingers buried in his hair as she got to know his new hairstyle. She lifted her head and softly, slowly pressed her lips against his, slightly afraid that he would pull away. Bucky's arms slithered around her waist and she parted her lips to meet his tongue, sighing happily into his mouth as she wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling like fireworks were going off inside of her as Bucky cupped her face, his soft caresses making her insides melt into a puddle of happiness.

She rolled them onto their sides as she pulled away, kissing the tip of his nose. " I wish you would tell me about the memories you've gotten back. " She whispered. Bucky closed his eyes and frowned. " Is it because I still don't know who I am? " She asked, and he nodded.

" It's not fair on you babe... " He started. She tried to argue but he pressed a finger to her lips. " It's not. I remember my parents, my little sister... Only flashes, familiar feelings... A lot of Steve, and some memories of school... I don't have it all but you have none of that. It's not fair on you. "

Liz sighed heavily and shook her head. " Bucky, all I want is for you to get your head straightened out. Yeah it still kills me to not know who I am, but it doesn't matter. I just want you to be happy. "

Bucky frowned heavily and shook his head. " No. Don't put me in front of yourself, ever. I couldn't bear to let you suffer for the rest of your life just so that I can remember what I got for my tenth birthday. "

Liz bit her bottom lip, deep in thought. " I do have family. " She said. " They may not be blood but Sam and Steve are my family. "

Bucky smiled sadly. " And I'm not? "

Liz snorted and shook her head. " It's illegal to be in love with someone in your family. "

Bucky chuckled deeply before freezing, realizing what she had said. He stared at her with wide, unbelieving eyes, his mouth hanging open. " You mean... "

Liz nodded, and he noticed her blush for the first time. " Yeah Buck, I do. I love you. " She whispered nervously, not daring to meet his eyes but before she could even take another breath, he crashed his lips against hers, his hands running up her sides and pulling her against him as he kissed her passionately and desperately, his tongue gently exploring her mouth and eliciting the most beautiful moan he had ever heard. When he finally pulled back and pressed his forehead against hers, noticing the way she was panting slightly and licking her lips, he smiled.

" I love you too babe. " He whispered.

Liz woke up the next morning and found herself alone in bed. She would have worried if she couldn't hear the horribly out of tune singing coming from down the hall, so she pulled on one of Bucky's large black hoodies over her tank top and panties and made her way to the kitchen, the sight before her making her freeze on the spot.

Steve and Sam were singing along rather loudly to 'Oops I did it again', the kitchen surfaces covered in flour and empty egg shells whilst Bucky fried the pancakes and swung his hips to the music, laughing loudly at the other two as they danced together. Bucky was laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes and had to step back from the frying pan for a moment to recover when he saw Liz standing in the doorway, staring at them with wide eyes. His smile immediately disappeared, his cheeks turning red and she started laughing just as hard as he had been.

Steve and Sam immediately froze and look at her as she leaned against the doorframe and continued to giggle, covering her mouth with her hand as her whole body shook with laughter. Steve shrugged and started dancing again and Sam panicked when he realized Bucky had left the pancake for too long. Bucky smiled as he watched Liz walk back to their bedroom, her laughter floating through the house as she went, making his insides go all fuzzy once more.

Steve helped Sam finish getting the pancakes ready as Bucky seemed to have gotten lost in his thoughts, a smile on his lips as he stared at the doorway where Liz had been. Steve had been up already when Bucky came into the kitchen, yawning and stretching but looking perfectly happy. He noticed the haircut and complimented him on it, but he could see in his eyes that something had changed. After some coaxing, he had gotten Bucky to tell him everything about Liz the night before and Steve was happy for them. He had seen it coming, Sam had even before he had, and he was glad they had finally taken the step. After breakfast, Steve got a call from Tony Stark to say they were getting a special delivery sometime that day, one that would be frightfully important for Liz.


	7. Chapter 7

_Aaaand finally back with some action! I dropped a few hints here and there about where the plot line is going, so I wonder if anyone gets it. BUT anyway, finally some more information about Liz's past and where she comes from. I don't really feel the need to delve greatly into her past missions, not even with Bucky, because we know they did horrible missions and assassinations, there's no real need to explore the details of it. If you disagree and would like one of them (or both of them) to explain some of their memories, then just let me know and I'll add it in somewhere in the next chapter or whatever. _  
_Also, I just want to let you know that I'm not sure when the next update will be. My brother's back from holiday later so I'm loosing his computer, and mine is still in repairs so I won't be able to write. Hopefully I'll be getting it back in the next few days but hey, who knows. If all goes well then I'll update in around a week like usual, but if I'm late well, you know why._  
_A huge thanks for all the support I'm getting. Seriously, I don't understand it but I'm ever so grateful for it, you guys are the best. Hope you enjoy this part!_

* * *

Liz was sitting on the sofa talking about war movies with Sam when there was a knock at the front door. She froze, eyes going wide but Steve appeared in the room to tell them it was alright. " I told you Stark was sending us something! " He reminded her as he opened the door.

" Well, Rogers, you got a nice home here. " A woman's voice was heard. Liz stood up from the sofa and watched as Steve let the woman into their home. Though she was wearing civilian clothes – jeans and a leather jacket – the way she carried herself and the way she took in her surroundings hinted towards military training.

" Natasha! " Sam greeted her with a large grin.

Liz watched the three people greet each other as she stood by the sofa, feeling very uncomfortable. " That's Romanoff. " She heard Bucky say quietly as he came to stand beside her. " She was on the bridge. " He muttered.

" She's on our side? " Liz asked him quietly, even though Steve had told her all about Natasha already, but she still felt the need to check with Bucky as she turned to look up at him.

Bucky nodded just as Steve came over to them, the ginger woman and Sam in tail. " Bucky, Liz, this is Natasha Romanoff. She's a friend. " He said with a smile.

" Hey. " Natasha smiled, looking from Liz to Bucky. " You're not going to try to kill me again are you? " She asked Bucky jokingly with a small smirk tugging at her lips.

" I'm sorry. " Bucky immediately said, frowning darkly. " I don't want to - "

" Relax, it's a joke. " Natasha interrupted him, winking. " I got something for you. " She continued, turning to Liz who was glaring at her, feeling extremely defensive over Bucky.

She continued to glare at Natasha, even when Bucky put his hand on the small of her back to reassure her. She didn't like strangers. She may have gotten used to the three men she lived with, even gotten over her initial fear of being close to them, but strangers still made her uncomfortable, and this Natasha was no exception.

" Liz it's okay, she's been working on some things for us. " Steve said, realizing things weren't going according to plan.

Liz tore her gaze from Natasha to look up at Steve, then sighed and looked back at Natasha. " Fine. What's so important that you had to come all the way here? " She asked flatly.

The shield agent pulled out a printed e-mail from her bag and handed it to her. " I dug around, pulled some strings while I was in Europe. It's not much but it's a start. " She said, understanding why Liz was being so cold to her. She had been the same once, and Natasha recognized the look in Liz's eyes as she took the piece of paper from her hands, frowning as she started reading.

_September 8th, 1984_

_Project Siren is now open. List of candidates is being drafted by Commander Hirsch._

_July 10th, 1984_

_Project Siren has commenced. A special lab has been commissioned for the arrival of the subject._

_May 5th, 1985_

_Subject 611 was born this morning at 2:15 am and taken into S.H.I.E.L.D protection by mother. Surveillance has begun._

_May 5th, 1989_

_Subject 611 has been acquired and put into facility H10. Subject's mother was discarded._

_Project Siren is now officially underway._

_May 18th, 1989_

_Project Siren is proving more resistant than initially expected. Commander Hirsch ordered the subject to be wiped if it does not comply within the next week._

_June 27th, 1989_

_Project Siren complying. Lessons to begin on the 30th._

_February 6th, 1990_

_Project Siren going according to plan. Seems to have almost forgotten life before H.Y.D.R.A and is learning well. Commander Hirsch ordered the subject to be moved to facility B16._

_July 14th, 1996_

_Project Siren began physical training under Project Winter Soldier._

_August 2nd,1996_

_Project Winter Soldier put back into Cryo._

_Project Siren to continue training in facility B22 under Commander Hirsch._

_December 1st, 2000_

_Project Siren's first mission was a success._

_Subject recommended for further physical training by the Winter Soldier._

Liz could barely breathe, gripping the piece of paper in her hands as she felt her knees give way as her eyes skimmed over the words again. She hadn't just been taken by Hydra, they had planned it all along, even before she was born. They had chosen her parents specifically and monitored her her whole life. She was nothing more than an experiment.

Bucky slumped to the floor in front of her, brushing her hair out of her face. " Babe? " He asked, lifting her head only to find she was staring into nothingness, her lips moving but her words incomprehensible. Panicked, he looked up to Steve as he kneeled beside them, looking worried.

" Liz it's okay. " Steve tried talking to her, but her breathing only got worse at the use of her name and Steve regretted using it. They had all learnt the hard way that calling her 'Liz' when she was having a crisis only made things worse, and she always started screaming that it wasn't her name. Giving her a nickname kept her happy, and made her feel closer to them.

'Taken into Shield protection by mother... Subject's mother was discarded'... They had killed her. She had been a Shield agent and they had killed her. Liz didn't know how to react, she could feel her body tremble, her breathing so jagged and uneven that she ended up whimpering.

Bucky was panicking. He brushed his hair out of his face and picked her up, carrying her to their room, hoping the peaceful atmosphere that seemed to constantly reign in there would help her come back to him. He sat her on the edge of their bed, but she seemed to not even register his presence, rocking herself backwards and forwards on the bed. Bucky sat next to her and took the piece of paper from her hands, his eyes skimming through the words in an attempt to understand why she had reacted so badly.

An hour later, Bucky joined the others in the kitchen. They had been talking amongst themselves bust fell quiet as he walked in to pour himself a glass of water. " How is she? " Sam asked, his voice full of worry.

Bucky shook his head as he leaned against the counter. " She uh... I got her to lie down and fall asleep. " He sighed, his throat tight, his eyes red. " It's all my fault... " He muttered.

" Hey... " Steve immediately went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. " It's not your fault Buck, what happened to her is - "

" But it is! " Bucky growled. " They made me fight her when she was barely eleven years old. I remember... I... " He gritted his teeth, taking a deep, shaky breath. " I read through the file and I remembered training her. She was so small... She was a child Steve and I hit her. I beat her even though she was crying and could barely stand up. What kind of monster does that!? " He almost shouted, feeling his body shake.

" You weren't in your right mind Buck. " Steve tried to calm him down. " You knew this already, she had told you - "

" I couldn't remember it though. And back then I didn't... I didn't love her back then. " He said quietly, noticing that Sam and Natasha exchanged a glance at his words. " I broke her... "

Sam got out of his chair and put a hand on his shoulder. " I know you and I had a bit of a problem at first, but let me tell you something big guy. Liz is a tough woman, she's been dealing with this her whole life. She never got her memory wiped like you did, she knew as soon as she saw you what you had done to her and still she forgave you. " He told Bucky, who now had silent tears running down his cheeks. " She loves you, man. You need to be there for her, don't let this bury you back into some deep dark pit of self hatred because it doesn't solve anything. "

Bucky gritted his teeth and wiped his tears, lifting his head to look at Sam. He was right. He didn't know how Liz had managed to overcome what he had done to her and learn to love him, but she had. And if she had, then maybe Bucky needed to put it aside as well and help her. " The file had a name. " He said, his mouth dry as he turned to Steve. " Commander Hirsch. He seemed to be the one in charge right from the start, before she was even born. "

" What? " Steve blinked. " You mean she was... "

" Conceived and born especially for Hydra purposes. " Natasha confirmed, speaking for the first time since Bucky had came in. " I have Hirsch's location. "

" Then we need to find him. " Bucky growled, balling his fists.

It was mid afternoon when there was a knock on the bedroom door. Liz rolled over on the bed, watching as the door opened slowly, expecting to see Bucky check on her yet again. Instead, she saw Sam step inside, unsuccessfully hiding a plastic bag behind his back as he closed the door behind him, a large grin on his face. " Peek a boo! " He sung as he ignored her unamused glare, walking over to sit on Bucky's side of the bed. " How ya doin' angel? " He asked, remembering how she reacted earlier when Steve had used her name.

She only grunted in response, sighing heavily before closing her eyes and burying her head into Bucky's pillow again, finding his scent had almost gone because of her holding it all day.

She head the ruffling of a plastic bag but didn't look up. " I went to the shops for a bit with Nat earlier and look what we bought you. " He said, and she could hear the grin in his voice. She only lifted her head up because this was Sam, the guy who always seemed happy no matter what, even when he was feeling miserable deep down.

She looked up and her jaw fell open as she blinked several times, sitting up on the bed to take a better look at what Sam was holding up for her, a large grin on his face. " Is that... " Liz actually found herself snorting, chuckling lightly as she took the Captain America t-shirt into her hands. It was perfect, bright blue with Steve's shield on the front, the star covered in glitter. " That is actually rather hideous. " She giggled quietly, running her fingers over the glittery part.

" Yeah, it is. " Sam chuckled, nodding in agreement. " We got one for each of us, you, Nat, Buck and I. We thought we'd keep 'em for a special occasion so uh, keep it quiet eh. " He winked. " Steve doesn't know. "

Liz snorted again and nodded. " He'll hate us. " She smirked, chuckling once more when Sam only ginned wider.

" We're just about to watch a movie if you wanna join us. " He asked, his voice calmer and less confident than before. Sam noticed the way her body tensed as she thought about sitting with other people, but he kept his gaze locked to hers. He wanted her to join them, she was his friend and he had felt horrible all day knowing she was in there all by herself. " I chose it myself so it's a good one. " He added, winking again.

Liz paused a moment before giving him a soft smile. " It's a really crappy movie isn't it? "

The two of them made their way into the living room to find Natasha putting the DVD in the machine, and Steve and Bucky on the sofa arguing over a large bowl of popcorn. Sam nodded to Liz as she gazed up at him, looking for reassurance, and she made her way over to the sofa, squeezing in between Bucky and Steve, also landing herself the popcorn. Bucky wrapped an arm around her and she snuggled up against him, her hand searching out for Steve's and gripped it tight. Steve looked over to Bucky to make sure it was okay with him, and the soldier smiled sadly. Even though Liz didn't bat an eyelash about the reminder that he had taken part in the torture she had gone through, he still had trouble swallowing it himself. But Sam was right, if she could forgive him, then he could at least accept it. He may have hurt her in the past but he would only ever protect her from now on. It was his new mission.

Natasha stayed up late with Steve that night. Everyone else had gone to bed and they sat outside watching the clouds blow over them in the night sky. After the movie they had booked the flight, all agreeing to track down this Hirsch guy that was mentioned in Liz's folder. " How's Barnes doing? " Nat asked Steve, breaking the comfortable silence.

" Pretty good I think, all things considered. " He answered, watching the tops of the trees sway in the wind. " He's had his highs and lows and he still can't get more than four or five hours of sleep but... He's acting a lot more like himself. "

" He still gets pretty tense from what I've seen. " Nat commented, watching Steve frown. " But at least he's not attacking you guys anymore. "

Steve nodded absentmindedly, thinking back to the first night he had brought Bucky home. He had tried to attack him three times just that first night then tried to run away. The next few days were better but were still hell, with Bucky constantly switching from the Winter Soldier to a broken five year old. " I think you can thank Liz for that. " He said eventually. " As soon as she arrived he calmed down a lot. "

" Yeah, I noticed. " Nat chuckled. " And how are _you_ doing? "

" Me? " Steve frowned, looking at her as he cocked an eyebrow.

" Oh come on, you think after everything we've been through that I don't see right through you Rogers? " She said simply. " Barnes changed everything for you. "

Steve sighed. She was right, finding Bucky again had changed everything. He went from feeling lonely all the time to having his family back, his best friend, the one person he had always loved the most. " It's hard sometimes. " He said quietly. " I keep getting glances of the old Buck and then when I look at him properly, he's not there. "

Nat didn't say anything, she knew not to. She let Steve think about his words before he spoke again, enjoying the calm night air around them. " He's my family Nat, I'll always have his back and I know he has mine. He's changed, but I guess when he first saw me after the serum, I had changed too. He never gave up on me, and I'm sure as hell not giving up on him. "

Nat smirked as she got up. " How cute. " She winked, going indoors.

Everyone was feeling rather gloomy the next morning. They had packed lightly, hoping to not be gone too long whilst they tracked down Commander Hirsch. To go with the general mood, the early morning was foggy and cold. Bucky wore a black hoodie and a leather glove to cover his metal hand, pulling his hood up to keep his neck warm, not yet used to having short hair. Liz had only gotten dressed because Bucky had helped her, otherwise she would have just let herself mope. Natasha put her bike in the garage – which they hadn't cleared out yet but at least it would keep the bike safe – and they set off to the airport together, all five of them crammed into the car.

The whole flight, Bucky kept his arms around Liz as she curled up on his lap. She had barely uttered a word since the day before, and he was determined to do everything he could to support her. She had always been there for him, always been the stronger one, but he understood her reaction. He had spoken with Steve about her Shield agent mother, hoping to be able to figure out who she could be, but Natasha had interrupted and said that it was impossible, that they would never be able to narrow down the candidates enough to pinpoint the exact Shield agent that gave birth to her.

The plane eventually landed. It was around six in the morning in the snowy capital of Sweden and everyone was shivering, save for Bucky who felt strangely at ease in the icy wind. He looked down, prepared to wrap his arms around Liz to keep her warm, only to find that she was looking much better in herself, her cheeks slightly flushed as her breath created a small cloud. " I've been here before. " She said, looking around. " I was nineteen... I had to tail the Swedish minister of foreign affairs and hack into her computer. "

Bucky took hold of her hand and they continued in silence. Liz had gotten off that plane with a fierce determination, promising herself that she wouldn't let herself weep or grieve until the job was done. She was closer than she had ever been to finding out the truth, closer than she had ever thought possible. She had no idea where Natasha had gotten that information but she reminded herself to thank her. As she watched Nat talk to Steve and Sam, falling into easy conversation with them both, she realized she had over reacted the previous day. Steve had told her a lot about Natasha, she knew she could be trusted, but still she had reacted badly. She cursed herself inside her head, promising herself that from now on she would at least try to be less defensive whenever she met new people. But before that could happen, they had to get to Commander Hirsch, and get whatever information out of him that they could.

The bunker they had to infiltrate had belonged to Shield until the Hellicarrier attack when Hydra had managed to overthrow Shield and claim the bunker as their own. It gave them an advantage though, as Natasha had the floorplans of the underground facility, and they could easily form a plan to minimize risk on their part and maximize the damage they caused. The five of them suited up – Steve in his Captain uniform, Sam in his wings, Natasha and Liz in their catsuit uniforms and Bucky simply replaced his hoodie with a leather jacket similar to the one Hydra had made him, but different enough for him to be comfortable wearing it. It was sleeveless on his left arm, and the metal shined brightly under the Swedish sun, contrasting against the white snow that covered the ground.

" Everyone clear on the plan? " Steve asked as they geared up on the hill overlooking the bunker's entrance, a small cement building that looked, to everyone else, like it was abandoned. They answered with a nod of the head, and Steve made sure they all looked confident. " Then let's go. Nat, Liz, you're up first. " He told the girls, who nodded nodded again and started off towards the bunker by themselves.

Bucky was on edge as he watched them, balling his fists by his side as he gritted his teeth. If anything happened to Liz he would destroy each and every life inside that building and not leave a trace of it left for anyone to find.

Liz fought against the mounting sick feeling inside her stomach as they got nearer to the building. She had to focus, she had to do this as flawlessly as every other mission she had done. She slowly crept through the snow, making sure she didn't disturb the bushes on the way down the small hill, knowing the base had eyes on their surroundings. She also knew there was a hidden machine gun hidden somewhere in the foliage, which they had to find and deactivate before it spotted them. She had her eyes open, scanning every inch of the ground, looking for any anomalies in the bushes around them when suddenly she saw it. It glinted in the sun similar to the way Bucky's arm did, and she froze, putting her hand up to signal to Natasha that she found it.

Natasha got to work and deactivated it and went back a little to signal to the men that they could move out. Meanwhile, Liz pushed on by herself just like they had planned. She got to the main entrance and successfully hacked into the front door, the usual Hydra coding still burnt into the back of her mind. Though she had unlocked the front door, she didn't open it, instead leaving it for easy access for the men. She instead snuck around the side of the cement building, looking for the ventilation shaft that should be around fifty meters to the right. When she found it, she looked back to see Natasha going around to the other side of the building to enter through the other ventilation shaft, and if she focused hard enough, she could see Sam, Bucky and Steve hiding behind some bushes not far away, waiting for their signal.

Liz removed the covering of the shaft and dropped inside. It was just about big enough for her to get in – which is why the men had to use the front door, they were far too big to go through the same was as her. She crawled through it quietly, keeping her phone hacked into the system so they didn't detect her or Natasha, who – if the plan was going well – was half way to the front desk.

Eventually Liz stopped crawling and looked down through the vents. Just like the floor plans suggested, she was over a small store room. She opened up the vent and dropped down into the room, barely making a sound. Looking through the keyhole, she saw no one, heard no one, and opened the door to the hallway. She went left and hurried down the corridor, checking her stopwatch – she had exactly 3 minutes and 45 seconds until the men charged in through the main entrance, so she had to hurry. She made her way through the maze of corridors, occasionally having to hide around corners or inside empty rooms to avoid being detected by Hydra guards and scientists, and finally got to the room she had been looking for.

The Operation's room was where they held all their information, where the higher ranking agents were stationed. It was where she had the most chance of finding Commander Hirsch, but also where she would find the most information kept on their databases. Liz hacked into the server to get into the room, and ducked behind one of the desks as soon as she got in.

The Operation's room was in two parts – the first part was lined with desks and computers facing a large board on one wall. The second part of the room was had a circular central table, against which were currently leaning three men, one of which Liz immediately recognized.

She took a moment to regain control of herself, feeling herself begin to panic, the image of the man behind her burnt into her memory. His cold laugh, his furious green eyes piercing through her, his thick German accent scaring her as he barked orders. Commander Hirsch. She had never known his name but she knew how he worked. He had been in command of Project Siren since Liz was first brought in, his small round glasses resting on his crooked nose as he inspected her. Over the years his blonde hair had gone grey, but he was still as tall and intimidating as he had always been even though he had needed a cane for the past five or six years.

With a deep breath, Liz pushed herself onto her knees and looked over the desk at him, watching as he was in deep discussion with the two men beside him, both wearing white lab coats and quite a lot younger than him. She silently plugged in a USB device into the computer she was beside and silently skimmed her fingers over the keyboards, trying to be as silent as possible as she downloaded every file they had onto the USB. She checked her watch again – 15 seconds.

She willed the computer to go faster and when the transfer was finally done, she pulled the USB out and stuffed it in her pocket just as the lights went out. Natasha was bang on time, and as soon as the lights were out, Liz jumped to her feet and pulled out her throwing knives, hitting each of the younger scientists straight between the eyes. By the time the emergency lights flickered on, they were dead on the floor, and Hirsch twisted around with wide eyes. When he recognized her, he visibly relaxed, a smirk pulling at his lips. " Well, if it isn't one of our failed subjects. " He sneered, his eyes skimming over her body.

" I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless you feel like screaming. " She spat, making her way over to him, holding a small gun in her hand in case he made a run for it. " You're coming with me. "

Hirsch laughed, his voice empty as it echoed around the room. " Two years in the wild and you think you can control me? "

Liz gritted her teeth as she let her fist fly into the side of his face, knocking him back a little but it failed to wipe the smirk off his face as she pushed him towards the door. From the corridor, gunfire could be heard as well as screaming and the sound of death. " Friends of yours I take it? " Hirsch asked in an amused voice, almost laughing as she pressed the gun to his back to keep him walking, though progress was slow as he learnt heavily on his cane.

They rounded the corner and the hairs on Liz's neck stood up, and she twisted around to find give fully armed Hydra soldiers running towards her. She shot one between the eyes, ducked out of the way of a punch and smashed her fist in the stomach of another guy. She fought tooth and claw but the four men were much bigger than her and covered in armor, and the narrow corridor didn't give her much room to move around so within minutes, she was being held by two of them, the other two checking that Commander Hirsch was unhurt. " We never trained you to be an expert in combat. " Hirsch sneered at her as she struggled in the men's arms, snarling at him. " Oh hush hush subject, you look like a wild beast with that expression. Dear god, did all that training go to waste? "

Liz spat at him and suffered the punch that came immediately after, her head flying to the side. She slowly looked back up at the soldier who had hit her, growling deeply as she glared at him. " Time we met your friends. We've been expecting you. " The soldier smirked at her before signaling to the men holding her that they should follow him.

Liz refused to comply. She let herself sag in their hold and the men ended up having to drag her along the corridor. It was undignified and to be honest they were so strong that it probably didn't even bother them that much, but Liz refused to comply in even the smallest of ways. The men dragged her to another room whilst she silently glared daggers into Hirsch's back, hoping that by some magic she would suddenly get psychic powers and could kill by thought, but it didn't happen. Instead, the soldiers pulled her into a room and her eyes wend wide.

Steve, Sam and Bucky were chained to the wall looking tired and beaten. Bucky was sporting a nasty looking cut over his eyebrow, Steve's face was black and blue and Sam's t-shirt was burnt and torn around his stomach. Liz looked around the room, gritting her teeth and refusing to make a sound as she looked for Natasha – but she was nowhere to be seen. Had she gotten away?

" Captain America! " Hirsch smiled as he stood in the middle of the room. " It's a pleasure to meet you at last, and I must thank you profoundly for returning not one but two of our greatest assets! " He grinned, waving his arm to first Liz then Bucky. " I must admit we were very... Disappointed when we lost this one. " He said as he hovered in front of Bucky.

Bucky snarled at him, pulling at the chains that kept him against the wall, trying his best to get free and wrap his metal fingers around his neck. " Don't touch him! " Liz shouted, screaming at hirsch before she realized what she had said.

As soon as Hirsch looked over to her, she realized her mistake. She had shown emotion, and emotion was a weakness. Hirsch now knew how to get to her, how to get to Bucky with more than just physical torture. She gritted her teeth and glared at Hirsch as he stepped towards her, struggling against the men who held her. " Chains won't hold us. " She threatened him in a dark voice. " You may have the upper hand now but believe me when I say this isn't the end. We _will_ get free. And I _will_ kill you. "

Hirsch simply smiled at her, keeping his head high as he looked down at her through his glasses. " You're a feisty little thing. Just like your mother. "

Liz's face fell and he smiled again, leaving the room. " Hirsch! HIRSCH! " She shouted after him, but she was already being dragged through another door into a room she knew all too well. The soldiers through her inside and she fell to the floor, scrambling to her feet and flinging herself at the heavy metal door just as it swang shut in her face, leaving her all alone.

After banging on the door for a while, Liz turned around, slumping against the door as she took the room in. Four plain white walls, plain cemented floor, with nothing but a matress against one wall and a toilet on another. Just like every room she had ever been given as she grew up. Liz let out a cry of anger and frustration and turned back to the door, hitting her head against it as she felt the tears build up, but she wouldn't give in. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

After a short while, she heard noises coming from the ventilation shaft in the ceiling. She looked up and waited, when suddenly Natasha's face came appeared through the hole. " Hey, need a lift? " She smirked.

Liz laughed, a few tears streaking down her face in relief. Natasha smiled sadly and dropped a rope down for her, attaching it to the side of the hole. Once Liz had climbed in, they pulled the rope back in and shut the shaft, removing any evidence of her escape. " Where are the others? " Liz asked, her stomach twisted in fear.

Natasha shook her head. " They're better guarded than you were. " She said quietly. " We gotta get out and think of another plan before we get them. "

" No! " Liz protested. " I'm not leaving them... I'm not leaving Bucky, I promised- "

" Unless you want to get yourself captured again, we need backup. Don't worry, someone's already on their way. " She reassured her.

" Who? " Liz asked, sniffing as she looked at Natasha.

" An old friend. " She said simply, turning around to crawl out of the facility.


	8. Chapter 8

_FINALLY THIS IS DONE. I am very very VERY sorry for taking so long, I mean three weeks is just wayyyy too long for a chapter update, I know, and I apologise. As I said before, I didn't have my laptop but I got it back early this week and, in typical me fashion, got highly distracted because I could finally play Watch Dogs (which, by the way, is one of the best games I have EVER played and I was just so addicted to it), but I finally managed to get this chapter finished. It was a PAIN to write, because I'm bad at long action scenes, I'm bad with scenes where there a lot of characters, and I'm trying to drop subtle hints about where this is going. But here it is! Thank you for being so patient with me, I promise the next chapter will be up in about a week, as per usual. Thank you all _

* * *

It had been three hours since Liz and Natasha had escaped the Hydra facility. They were currently standing beside a payphone on one of Stockholm's high streets, waiting for Natasha's 'old friend', the absent name making Liz feel more and more uncomfortable by the second. It was cold, and even though they both had long thick coats to keep themselves warm, their cheeks were still red against the icy wind. "Is this contact of yours even going to show?" Liz barked impatiently, her mind racing through a million different tortures that Bucky, Steve and Sam could possibly be going through as they waited.

"Two minutes." Natasha reassured her, watching the blonde as her eyes darted around every corner of the street. "You can trust him you know." She added, but when Liz rolled her eyes, Natasha understood. "You can trust me as well."

Liz grimaced as she looked at the ginger spy, sighing heavily. "Well, usually rescue missions don't involve fleeing the area and waiting for external backup in the freezing cold whilst the others are being slowly tortured to death."

"They won't die." Natasha argued. "Steve's too valuable. They can't touch Sam or they lose Steve. And they'll want Bucky to work for them a-"

"That's what I'm worried about!" Liz exclaimed, causing a group of passers-by to look round at her. "If they wipe him again…"

"He'll be fine." Natasha said simply, catching Liz's gaze. She needed to believe it, she had to.

"Am I interrupting something or are you lovely ladies waiting on me?" A man's voice was suddenly heard, and Liz looked round to find a strong looking man standing before them, no taller than Natasha. Though he was quite small – smaller than Liz even – his build and posture was the same as theirs. Military.

"This is my friend Clint Barton." Natasha smiled.

Clint and Liz nodded, eyeing each other up. The way the man was looking at her put her on edge, and Liz instinctively felt her muscles prepare for combat. "Berlin, November 2005, by the national theatre, right?" He said to her, catching her off guard.

Liz blinked in confusion, her mind racing back to the date. She had indeed been in Berlin at that time, and she frowned deeply. "How…"

"You kicked my arse on the roof." He smirked.

"You… That sniper was you?" Liz could barely believe it. She had been barely twenty years old at the time but Hydra had trusted her to carry out the mission alone. "You're lucky I decided to spare you, my orders were to kill." She said flatly in a dark voice.

Clint laughed. "Pretty sure I'd have dealt with it if you hadn't ran off." He was taking it lightly, not even holding a grudge against her when she had once tried to kill him. To say that Liz was surprised was an understatement, and she couldn't understand. "Tasha told me everything, she's been keeping me up to date with everything." He continued, easily reading the confusion on her face.

"Someone's gotta know what's going on if we all suddenly disappear." Natasha explained, not wanting Liz to think that she was telling everyone about everything.

"So that's it? We going to get the boys back now?" The sick feeling in her stomach was driving her crazy, and she had already had enough of the pleasantries.

* * *

Steve was tied to a chair. Well, more like had his arms clamped in place making it impossible for him to even more. Sam was sitting on the other side of the small room, Hydra having decided that simple handcuffs were enough to keep him down. Sam was unconscious, the burns on his stomach having been left to bleed out, and Steve had no idea where they had taken Bucky, nor where Liz and Natasha were. He thought they must be tied up in another cell, or… No, they were alive, somewhere, he just needed to get to them, get Bucky back – again – and get them all out to safety.

He pulled for the umpteenth time on his shackles, to no avail. He'd been in some sticky situations before but he had to admit that this was a whole new level of sticky, and he didn't like it. They had taken his shield, but all he needed was to get free from his constraints. Maybe if he twisted his thumb back and wriggled his - wait. The shackles clicked and opened up all by themselves, and Steve pulled his arms free, looking around the cell. The heavy metal door was still bolted shut, and there was no sign of anyone around. Deciding to just go with it, he jumped out of the chair and got to Sam, shaking him. "Wake up, we gotta go." Steve told him. Hearing Sam mumble as he came to, Steve grabbed his handcuffs and broke them with a little effort. Thank god for his super strength.

The blond super soldier stood up and inspected the door, searching for a weak point when it clicked and swung open. No one was standing in the doorway, and Steve frowned. What the hell was happening? He carefully peered out into the corridor, expecting to see someone coming for him but the only people he could see were the guards, two at each end of the corridor, standing guard, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was now free. "What the..." Steve quietly said to himself as he turned back to help Sam to his feet.

Steve put an arm around Sam and together they got to the doorway of their cell. Steve prepared himself for hand to hand combat, but before he could set a foot outside the door, there was a crash somewhere down another corridor and the two guards at one end walked away, following the sound of a possible intrusion.

Steve frowned heavily again but grabbed Sam and hurried to get them both down the corridor and around the corner in the opposite direction to where the guards had went, and rounded yet another corner. The place was a maze, and Steve had no idea where he was. He still needed to find Bucky and the girls, but Sam was in no fit state to take on anyone. He was at a loss of what to do, maybe if he got to the exit and - before he could finish his train of thought, the television monitor above them in the corridor turned on. _'We're in their system. We'll get you out, follow the signs.'_

The letters came up on screen quickly and Steve blinked. Was that really the girls? How had they evaded capture? He had quite clearly watched Liz get taken away and _- 'We're both safe, just hurry old man.'_ Came the second message, and Steve had to smirk. Clearly Nat was in command of the typing.

Steve helped Sam to walk as they went down the corridor and looked both ways, wondering which way to go_. 'This way to the fossil section.' _The message brought another smirk to Steve's face as he tightened his grip around Sam's shoulders, following Nat's directions.

A few corners and magically unlocked doors later, Sam and Steve found themselves in the entrance, the large oval room providing little cover. Sam pointed out a couple of guards and they quickly ducked down behind the front desk, listening to the guards bicker between them. Steve waited for Natasha to do her work, but the guards never left. When another two joined them, he was about to stand up and take them out when he heard them collapse to the floor. Sam struggled to his knees and looked over the desk as Steve stood up, both of them staring blankly at the four corpses on the ground. Two of them had arrows sticking out of their heads, one had a knife in his heart and the other one had one in his throat.

Liz and Clint came out of the shadows of the entrance hallway, their hoods covered in a thin layer of snow as they checked the room for any more guards, striding confidently over to Steve and Sam. "Get Sam out, Clint and I will find Bucky." Liz told Steve as she practically ignored him, looking around the corner to check they were safe.

"No, I'm coming with you." Steve argued, watching as Clint crouched to check over Sam.

"We've got this." Liz snapped, about to walk passed Steve again when he grabbed her upper arm, forcing her to look up at him.

"I'm coming with you." Steve said forcefully, noticing how much panic she was trying to hide from him. She was terrified, and he understood why. He was scared too, afraid they had wiped Bucky again, afraid that the pieces they had managed to put back together had crumbled, afraid that this time there was no recovery for Bucky. "He's my friend too."

Liz swallowed, taking a shaky breath as she nodded. She was barely holding it together, the sick feeling in her stomach so bad that she was afraid she would throw up. Her training had gone to hell in the two years she had been away from Hydra, she knew that, but if she didn't save Bucky she would never get over it. Her friendship with Steve calmed her down somewhat, for the first time in her life she had someone she could be rely on.

She quietly pulled herself together whilst Steve spoke with Clint and Sam, but she didn't listen. She closed her eyes and focused, picturing Bucky laughing at something Sam had said, how peaceful Bucky looked when he slept, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled at her before they fell asleep in each other's arms, the way the corner of his eyes wrinkled when he grinned at Steve, the sound of his voice as he enthusiastically argued over music with Sam. She pried her strength in him, finding the determination she needed. Bucky was everything to her, and she'd die before she let anything happen to him.

* * *

The job was never supposed to be this big. It was supposed to be a simple in and out thing, but it had all gone sour. It was all her fault really, she should have never let the others go with her. It was her identity she was looking for, it was not their fight. The people that got hurt, they were her allies, her friends. Her family. They were everything she had, and it was all on her.

Once Clint had got Sam out of the building, Steve and Liz pushed on, making good team effort, and with Nat's help controlling the system, they snuck through the Hydra base to the special ward they were holding Bucky in. They didn't want to go in and kill everyone and risk them either moving or murdering Bucky. So they crept around, and finally got to the section they wanted. _'Good luck.'_ Nat wrote on the last television screen as they prepared themselves for a fight. "Good luck indeed." Liz muttered, looking up at Steve.

"We don't need luck." He said simply, bursting through the door into the lab.

No sooner had they stepped inside were they being fired at. Steve grabbed Liz by the waist and pulled her against him as he flung himself to the ground behind a metal counter. Liz pushed him off her and peered around the corner, shooting a Hydra agent in the head, and counting the remaining. Four, plus Hirsch.

"There's no point in fighting!" Came Hirsch's smug voice as the gunfire stopped. "We have the asset, we have your shield, and you are surrounded."

"You may have the upper hand for the moment, but it won't last!" Steve called back, his eyes vigorously scanning his surroundings, knowing more guards would inevitably be coming through the door any second.

"Even if you kill us, you'll never have the information you seek." Hirsch shouted back. "Isn't that right, _Liz_." He snorted as he used the name she had given herself.

He was teasing her, pushing her, edging her on. He was daring her to act out, eager to get his hands on her once more. He smirked to himself as he leant on his cane, tracing his fingers over the cryo tube that Bucky was frozen in as he listened to the silence that reigned in the room. Hirsch nodded to one of his guards, who gripped his gun tighter as he quietly stepped towards the counter Liz and Steve were hiding behind.

The guard steadied his breathing, his heavy boots not as quiet as he'd have liked as he stepped forwards. Before he could even fully get around the counter, Liz had jumped onto him, pushed her knife through his throat and pushed him backwards, using his body as a shield from the bullets that came from the other guards as she quickly ducked behind another counter, the closest one to the three remaining guards. She pushed the corpse off her, and found that by some struck of luck, was sitting beside Steve's shield.

She grabbed the shield and threw it into the air. "Steve!" She called, and just as he stood up, his eyes flashed in recognition and grabbed the shield in time to protect himself from the gunfire. He rushed forwards and disarmed one of the guards, and Liz used the distraction to jump over the counter and snap the neck of the closest man to her.

By the time he fell to the ground, Steve had taken out the other guards and had Hirsch pressed up against the back wall of the room, a smirk growing on his lips as footsteps could be heard outside the door. Liz jumped to the control panel beside Hirsch and locked the door, keeping the other guards out. "You may be safe in here, but you're trapped. That door is the only way out." Hirsch sung, almost laughing.

Steve couldn't believe this man. His eyes looked crazed behind his small glasses, his white hair disheveled as Steve kept him trapped against the wall. "I must thank you Captain." He sung. "If it weren't for you we'd have never obtained the knowledge we needed to create the two assets behind you."

Steve growled, looking over his shoulder to where Liz was peering into the cryo tube at Bucky. She turned to look at Steve, the look in her eyes harsh and murderous as she made her way over to Hirsch, pushing Steve aside roughly.

"Tell me who I am and I'll spare you a long, painful death." She growled in a low, threatening voice. A voice that worried Steve, but he had more important things to think about right at that time. He turned around and inspected the cryo tube Bucky was in, searching for the opening.

"You are project Siren." Hirsch spat at her, earning himself a punch in the face.

"TELL ME!" Liz screamed at him, pulling her fist back to hit him again when she felt Steve's arms around her, pulling her off the old man who grunted in pain, blood pouring out his nose. "Get off me!" She protested, struggling in Steve's arms as he pulled her further away, letting her lean against one of the counters.

"Keep it together, you can't kill him." Steve reminded her. Before he could speak again, they heard the click of a gun and Steve raised his shield up just in time to protect them both from a bullet.

Hirsch dropped the gun and almost flung himself onto the control panel to unlock the door, and almost immediately a load of Hydra agents burst inside. Liz and Steve ducked down quickly, and Hirsch called out to his soldiers. "Hurry you idiots!"

Liz growled and knocked him down to the ground, letting Steve take care of the guards that were trying to kill them. "I know you planned my birth, I know you murdered my mother." She growled down at Hirsch. "What was her name?"

Hirsch blinked up at her, shaking his head. "I never planned for her to die, I want you to know that." He said, his voice calm and more sincere than he had ever sounded. Ever since she had been a young girl, she had never seen him look so... So... Human. "Your mother was a good person, I regret that she refused to join our cause."

Liz gritted her teeth, a mixture of fury and sadness eating away at her insides. Before she could say anything, she felt a cold grip on her upper arm and she was pulled away from Hirsch, roughly landing on her backside on the floor. She grabbed her knife and went to kill her attacker, and found that the blade caught in the metal arm that blocked it. Her eyes locked with Bucky as he slumped on the ground, his wide, wild blue eyes boring into hers as they stared at each other.

"Bucky?" She muttered, his eyes flickering in recognition. She had no idea if he had been wiped before being put away, hadn't even realized Steve had opened up his prison. Was he going to attack her?

"Door." He mumbled quietly. Liz frowned, searching his eyes as she tried to understand what he meant. "Close... It."

Her eyes widened and she nodded, delicately caressing his cheek as she got her feet and, keeping low, got to the control panel and locked the door closed once more. She then picked up a gun from the floor, grabbed Hirsch and pressed the gun to his head. "Call your guards off." She told him.

Now that the door was closed, Steve was finishing off the last two guards that were standing, the rest having been locked out. But the problem remained, they needed to escape and that door was the only way out. "Call them off and we'll leave without hurting a single one of you."

Hirsch laughed, watching as Bucky struggled to get to his feet, Steve putting an arm around his shoulders to keep him on his feet. "I'd rather see all my agents die than let the three of you walk out of here." He said.

"That may be, but we have explosives planted around the building. If we're not out of here by sunset, the whole place blows." Steve blurted out. "You may be willing to lose your men, but I don't think you're willing to lose your research.

Liz blinked at him as she kept the gun pressed to Hirsch's head, hoping Steve's bluff would work. Bucky's eyes were fluttering, his whole body leaning heavily against Steve as he struggled to keep himself upright. It usually took hours for him to wake up properly, but when his eyes opened and he realized the situation, he had forced himself out of the cryo tube and flung himself towards Liz, but he was now paying for that decision. His body was still half frozen, his limbs not fully cooperating and his mind slow and hazy. But at least he remembered everything still, he remembered that he had been too violent for Hydra to wipe him so they had preferred to just put him on ice.

"Fine." Hirsch finally said, breaking the silence that hung in the air. "I need to get to the microphone though." He added when Liz didn't let go of him.

She hesitated as she lowered the gun, looking over at Steve for reassurance. Hirsch leant against the control panel, out of breath and tired, and pressed one of the buttons. "This is Commander Hirsch, put your guns down. Let the enemy leave the building, put up no fight. Our research is compromised, our duty is to preserve it. Let them leave in peace. That's an order." Hirsch said into the microphone, his voice resonating throughout the whole base.

Once he had finished, he stood up and turned around. "We will get you back." He smirked knowingly at Liz. "You and the Winter Soldier may have malfunctioned, but you will be ours again, leading the world into a new age at the front of Hydra."

Liz wanted nothing more than to put a bullet through his head, but she couldn't. He was still the only one with answers, but she wasn't going to get any, not today. Instead, she unlocked the door and pushed him forwards, keeping the gun against his back as she made him lead them out of the room. The Hydra agents still had their guns pointed at them, and the tension was so thick you could almost hear it. As Hirsch lead them towards the exit, the only sounds that were heard were their footsteps and the occasional quiet grunt coming from Bucky as he struggled to stay on his feet.

"I will get my answers." Liz growled to the old scientist as she waited for Steve and Bucky to walk out the front entrance before following them. "I swear on my life I'll get them."

Hirsch shook his head sadly as he watched her. "I had such high hopes for you." He sighed. "Barnes was never going to be anything more than a weapon but you... You could have been perfect."

Liz scowled at him, trying to think of something to say back but instead turned on her heels and went out the door, slamming it shut behind her. The frozen Scandinavian air hit her like a brick wall but she took it in her stride, keeping her head high as she stepped through the snow, easily catching up with the others and meeting up with Sam, Clint and Natasha who were hidden in the trees up on top of the hill.

Liz stood off to the side of the group, so engrossed in her own thoughts that the conversation happening beside her was nothing more than a distant hum to her ears. She stared down the hill at the seemingly innocent looking door to the Hydra base, swallowing hard to push back the surfacing emotions. She didn't know how to react, none of what had just happened made much sense to her. This whole trip was a waste of time, in fact it had been the worst decision ever. They had set out to discover her true identity, and instead they had barely escaped with their lives, with a badly wounded Sam and a potentially messed up Bucky. The lead they had on Hirsch was nothing but a dead end if he refused to speak, and by god he was good at talking his way out of things. She knew him, she had grown up lurking in the shadows of his ambition, and she knew that he would die before he willingly gave up his secrets.

There was no hope then, no hope of finding out who she was. She pondered whether it was futile, whether it was a waste of time and effort. In all honesty, what would finding out her name change for her? How would knowing her mother's identity help her heal? The whole thing had nearly cost her everything, she had nearly lost Sam and Steve and... And Bucky. She couldn't even bare to turn her head and look at him. She was terrified, afraid he had been wiped, afraid he had been hurt, afraid... Afraid that he would blame her. Because that's what it boiled down to, in the end. It was her fault, it all was.

_If only I had had the common sense to just terminate myself._

After all, she was created to be Hydra's weapon. Born and raised for that purpose only, been told her whole life that her only reason for existing was to help cure the world and ensure Hydra is capable of helping humanity. Take away Hydra, what was she?

_A threat._

She had always been taught to eliminate threats no matter the cost. But she couldn't, not now that she had people who supported her, people who needed her, people who actually cared about her. Most of all, she refused to give up just out of spite. She had to live and be happy, if only to prove to Hydra that they were wrong. She wasn't sad, she was angry. Fiercely, furiously angry.

"Are you even listening to me?" Steve's voice broke through her thoughts and she jumped a little in her skin, her eyes wide as she turned her head to see everyone watching her expectantly.

"I, uh... Sorry." She bit her lip, staring at the ground. "I was..." She shrugged, her voice trailing off.

Steve smiled sympathetically, knowing this wasn't an easy time for her. "Nat managed to download their files whilst she was in the system, and Clint snuck back in and got hold of the few physical files they had stored in an office." He explained, to which Liz nodded. "We have _your_ file."

Liz swallowed, her eyes darting over to Natasha and Clint, the small nod of their heads confirming Steve's statement. "Steve wasn't lying about the explosives." Clint told her. "We have them all wired, we're ready to blow any second... As long as we have your permission."

"Hirsch is your past, and we understand if you don't want us to kill him." Steve continued. "This is your decision."

Liz let out a shaky breath, her eyes flickering from Steve to Sam as he sat leaning against a tree, holding his stomach in pain. She glanced over at Natasha, standing strongly and confidently beside Clint, who was looking far too kindly at her for being someone she had once nearly killed. She then finally dared to look at Bucky, who was staring up at her from his position slumped against a tree beside Sam. He looked exhausted, in pain and unhappy, but his eyes shone with determination as he slowly nodded to her. The small act of support fueled her resolve as she gritted her teeth and nodded back, lifting her head to look at Natasha once more. "Blow those fuckers to hell."

The smallest of smirks played on Natasha's lips as she turned to her computer and pressed a few buttons. "Blowing in three... Two... One..."

There was a loud explosion, followed barely a few seconds later by another, then another. The ground shook beneath them, and Liz watched as flames erupted from the ground, the black smoke contrasting against the white snow, the lick of red and orange flames dancing in front of her eyes as she felt a strong sense of satisfaction build inside of her.

_Justice._


	9. Chapter 9

_I can't believe I'm on chapter nine already, but here it is! I would have had this chapter up a couple of days ago but I've been distracted with the return of Doctor Who (I don't know if anyone watches but omg Capaldi is BRILLIANT) and the last ever episode of True Blood (I still feel like someone died. It's been a huge part of my life for years and...It's over. I feel horrible.)_  
_But anyway, this chapter kinda did it's own thing. I planned it one way and then before I knew it, something completely different had appeared on screen so I just kinda went with it. If anything's unclear just ask, I know I have a tendency to explain things in too much detail. Anyway, I hope you all like it, and please let me know what you think!_

* * *

_Sometimes you think things just can't get better no matter how hard you try. You search high and low for answers, for ways to fix everything, you run endlessly after the light at the end of the tunnel but you trip and stumble so often that you just stop running, sit on the ground and curl up. Sometimes you just feel yourself give up, because you spend years looking for answers and then when you do find them, they are your worst nightmare. Sometimes everything about you is a lie, sometimes you are left alone to bear the ugly truth and hold the weight of what seems like the entire universe on your shoulders. No one seems to understand what you are going through, even though they say they do. Sometimes looking in the mirror hurts more than anything in the world. No matter where you look or what you do, the weight of the pain crushes you to a point where you feel you cannot breathe. The tears came and came again until there were no more tears to cry. The nightmares never cease, and you walk the corridors at night to evade sleep only to wonder if you are awake or dreaming. You eat but cannot taste, and people talk to you but you cannot hear them. It feels like there is nothing else in the world but you and the pain, the endless, excruciating, unforgiving pain that knows no boundaries to what it can destroy. _

Bucky's hands trembled as he closed the notebook Liz wrote in and put it back on the dressing table in his room, taking a deep breath as he processed what he had just read. He turned his head and looked out the window, watching her as she sat on the grass by herself, her head hung low and her blonde hair flying in the wind as she stared into space.

He sighed and made his way into the kitchen where Steve and Sam were playing chess, dragging a chair away from the table and letting himself collapse into the chair, resting his head on his metal arm with a large sigh. "We have to do something about Liz... About Lovisa." He swallowed, using her real name that he had still not adjusted to.

It turned out that the information Nat and Clint had extracted from the Hydra database had everything about her on there. After escaping the base and finding a hotel they could crash in, Natasha had offered to let Liz read the file in private, but she couldn't bear to do it. Sam sat on the armchair, his chest cleaned and bandaged, Clint stood in the doorway, and Liz sat on the sofa between Steve and Bucky, both of them worn out and bruised.

Bucky remembered how hard she had squeezed his hands as Natasha started reading the information, about how a committee of Hydra scientists had been brought together in order to conceive the idea of the perfect Hydra agent - one that was indoctrinated with their ideals, who could fight as well as the Winter Soldier, who could infiltrate anywhere and convert others to their cause and, most importantly, do it all willingly. They had decided that the best way to achieve such perfection was to indoctrinate from birth, to create the perfect Hydra baby. After months of research and testing to find the parents to bear such a child, the parents were finally chosen.

Her mother was a S.H.I.E.L.D field agent, with high level infiltration and combat skills, an I.Q of 121, spoke twelve languages and was a very well-liked, professional woman who had joined S.H.I.E.L.D after leaving university in Oslo, where she was born on June 12th, 1952. Her name was Felicia Björnsson. Natasha clicked to bring up the attached picture of her, and Liz felt a her heart skip a beat as she looked at the young blonde, blue eyed woman smiling at her. Everyone in the room agreed that Liz looked a lot like her, except for her eyes. Felicia had almond shaped blue eyes, yet Liz had round green eyes, presumably like her father.

Next came the file about Liz herself, or rather Lovisa Torunn Björnsson. Apparently her mother had been unmarried when Lovisa was born, and so inherited her mother's surname. Steve had found it odd that she had chosen the name Liz when it was so similar to Lovisa, and she said she just felt close to the letter L, and her hunch had been right. She was born on May 5th, 1985, so by calculation she was currently 29 years old. There was not much more information about her there other than a whole diary of what happened to her at Hydra, which Lovisa - Liz - didn't want to read. She remembered most of it, and what she had forgotten was either because she was too young to remember or simply because it was too traumatizing.

The file to her father was encrypted and took Natasha a minute to unlock, but when she did, a heavy, uncomfortable silence fell on them as they looked at the picture of Lovisa's father. Staring at them was a younger, more handsome picture of Hirsch. Lars Hirsch, one of Hydra's most important young scientists.

Bucky remembered how Liz had frozen, staring up in horror at the screen to where Hirsch's green eyes - the eyes he had passed onto her - stared down at her. He had been about to say something when she had jumped up off the couch and ran to the bathroom where she had vomited up the entire contents of her stomach.

Over a week had passed since then and she had made no progress. Liz - or Lovisa as they should now be calling her - had all but excluded herself from the others. She had made no attempt to find out what Hydra had done to Bucky, no attempt to help Sam recover from his injuries, no attempt to even talk to any of them. They had flown back to the states and gone back to the house they had restored. Clint and Natasha were staying with them temporarily until they were feeling better, as Sam was still injured and needed a lot of help - particularly with washing and changing clothes and moving and... Well, doing anything really. Bucky had everyone worried, and no matter how much he assured them that he was fine, they could see the glassiness of his eyes whenever he drifted off into his own thoughts.

In truth Hydra hadn't actually managed to do anything to him, as he had put up too much of a fight for them. They had sedated him and put him back into cryo while they waited the delivery of the chair so they could wipe him so, other than some ugly flashbacks and panic attacks, Bucky shrugged the whole thing off as if it were nothing. The truth was not so simple though, as everyone could see the change in him - his nightmares came back in full force, and his paranoia had returned to some extent - but the most radical change was his shift in character. Before their trip he had been calm and relaxed, you could even say he was laid back and maybe even a little lazy. But now? Now he was strict and calculated, every one of his decisions was thought through and precise, like a soldier.

He spent a lot of his time talking with Steve and, surprisingly, with Natasha. The whole ordeal had unlocked a great deal of memories for Bucky, and he found himself reminiscing a lot with Steve about the Howling Commandos, a period of his life which he had previously remembered nothing about. He also found in Natasha someone who understood him and was a lot like him in many ways. Just when he thought she was angry, the corner of her lips would turn up and he'd understand that she was joking, and he realized the tone of her voice was slightly different when she was being affectionate - even though being affectionate for her was insulting someone. They would speak Russian to each other, because even though Bucky only knew Russian because of Hydra, it was comfortable for him. But no matter how much both she and Steve tried, Bucky needed Lovisa.

Lovisa had stopped sleeping by his side, simply grabbing a thin blanket and curling up on the sofa, but she never slept much. No one knew if she ignored Bucky's screams when he had a nightmare, or if she simply couldn't hear them - but the truth was she thought he deserved better than her. The only thing going through her mind was that Hydra was in her blood, she was the living, breathing creation of Hydra. No matter what she did, no matter she went or what she said, she would always be Hydra. Whenever she looked in the mirror, her eyes were the living proof of what she was, and when she stared too long, the dark circles under her eyes vanished and in their place appeared wrinkles, and her face slowly morphed into Commander Hirsch's smug, smirking face, laughing at her because he had succeeded. Where Bucky had been manipulated into being Hydra, she was born Hydra, pre-bred, perfect for their cause - and Bucky needed someone good, pure and kind. She avoided Bucky more than anyone else simply because she thought it was better for him, she didn't want to be the one to drag him down, couldn't bear the thought of holding him back when he was so clearly born the most wonderful man to have ever walked the earth.

At the kitchen table, Steve put his hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I know Buck... How about we watch a movie tonight? Maybe that movie about pirates that she loves so much?"

"I think it'll take more than a movie, Cap." Clint said carefully, watching the two men before him swallow. Clint didn't know Lovisa well - heck he barely knew her at all - but it was as clear as day that Steve, Bucky and Sam loved her. The pain shone in their eyes whenever she snapped at them or blatantly ignored them, and no matter how many times Steve attempted to help her, she always shooed him away, needing space, her voice unsteady. "If she doesn't want help, you can't force it on her."

"We can't just leave her like this." Steve argued. "She needs help, look at her, she's barely aware of what's going on around her."

"Maybe Barton's right..." Bucky muttered quietly, staring at the floor. "After the Helicarrier attack, I just wanted to be alone. You came close to finding me a couple times but... I couldn't face you."

Steve stared at him for a few seconds, then sighed. "So what do we do? Tell her we'll ignore her if that's what she wants?" He shrugged, not having the slightest clue of what to do.

Before anyone could answer him, the back door slammed open and they could hear Lovisa and Natasha arguing. " - needs you! Do you even know what he's going through right now?" Natasha shouted.

"You help him if you know so much about what he needs!" Lovisa shouted back, appearing into the kitchen looking furious. "I'm the problem here!" She growled, turning on her heels to glare at Natasha who was frowning deeply. "I think there's enough people under this roof to deal with the shit that's going on, you're all better off without me." Lovisa finished in a eerily calm voice before stepping into her bedroom and slamming the door shut.

Bucky jumped out of his chair, pushing Natasha out of the way and knocked on the door. "Lovisa!" He called strongly. "Lovisa!... Liz please..." He whimpered out desperately.

The door opened a few seconds later and she appeared before him, gritting her teeth to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall down her cheeks, and slung a backpack over her shoulders. "Goodbye James." She said in an extremely final voice, easily stepping past him as he stared in shock at the place she had been standing a few seconds before.

Steve stood up, about to say something when she looked around at him. "Don't call me. Don't look for me. Just..." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second before continuing. "I did what you asked me to do and found Bucky for you. Make sure he gets better, and say goodbye to Sam."

"Lovisa..." Steve shook his head, taking a step towards her.

"No." She shook her head strongly, stepping backwards towards the door. She looked over at Clint who was watching curiously, then over at Natasha who was shaking her head. "Goodbye Captain Rogers, it was a honor to serve with you." She finished, nodding her head before turning on her heels and heading out of the door.

Not a second later Bucky let out a heart wrenching sob and fell to his knees, his body wracked with tears.

The weeks passed by and Lovisa travelled around the states. She was running, away from her past, away from the present... Away from herself. She took buses to various states, stayed in motels, saw some beautiful places. The first place she went to was Las Vegas, not because she wanted to see it - because in truth she hated the place - but because it was crowded and easy for her to change her identity. It was there that she dyed her hair a deep vibrant purple and changed her clothes to some torn jeans shorts or long cargo pants with some fitted tank tops and the occasional sweater. She hacked various bank accounts and made sure she was high on cash, replaced her phone and buried her old one in a secret pocket inside her bag. From L.A, she made her way to the coast in California, saw San Francisco and it's Golden Gate Bridge, the Yosemite national park and Death Valley. She hitchhiked and backpacked through Nevada and Utah and saw the Zion national park and the Bryce canyon.

After two weeks she met a group of three women backpackers at the Horseshoe Bend in Arizona. She had met and spoken to many other people but these three women were the first people she chose to stay with because when she was with them, she felt the pain in her chest ease away a little for the first time since the whole event in Stockholm. Lovisa had been sitting on the rocks, simply staring out into the distance with her camera by her side, when she noticed someone sit beside her. She turned her head to find a skinny young woman wearing thick rimmed glasses, her hair in a pony tail. "Jaysus it's pretty darn hot today." She panted in a French-Canadian accent, shaking the Star-Wars t-shirt that she was wearing beneath multicolored suspenders. "How do you not get sunburn in this weather?"

Lovisa shrugged. "Good sun screen."

"Yeah... I keep forgetting that. I guess that's what happens when you travel with two sisters with skin as black as theirs." The girl snorted, pointing to two athletically built women a few meters away, arguing over a camera. "See the shorter one with the long black braid and pink shorts? That's Camilla. She's my girlfriend." She grinned.

Lovisa watched the two sisters as they continued arguing, taking various pictures and frowning at the result on the screen. She didn't really know what to say, she had never met these people before and yet this skinny little woman was talking to her as if they were friends.

"I'm Yvonne, by the way." She suddenly said, taking out a bottle of water from her bag.

"Lovisa." Liz nodded, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, enjoying the heat.

"Urg, Dawn is driving me crazy." Lovisa opened her eyes and saw Yvonne's girlfriend Camilla sit beside them. "Just because she's two years older than me she thinks she can take better pictures than me. It's utter bullshit."

"She does have a nice hairdo." Yvonne teased, handing the water over to Camilla who shot her a death glare. "What? She has the whole short curly afro thing goin' on, it's pretty."

"Then why don't you date her instead of me." Camilla groaned as she extended her legs on the rock, stretching them.

Yvonne laughed. "I would, but then I'd miss driving you crazy." She said.

Lovisa watched the two and smiled. They were so obviously in love, it was beautiful to watch. They didn't need to spell it out for it to be obvious, just the way they looked at each other, the way their fingers lingered over the other's as they handed each other things, the way they sat close to each other. Lovisa sighed sadly, remembering how she used to do the same thing with Bucky. She missed him, she never thought she would ever miss someone but her heart was pining for the warmth of his embrace, the smell of his hair after he washed it, to hear him sing off-key with Sam in the mornings... Just to see him smile.

"Hey you wanna go back into town with us? You look like you need some company." Yvonne's voice broke through her thoughts and Lovisa looked at her, finding the two sisters grinning at her as well.

That's how the three women took Lovisa under their wings and let her into their lives without asking a single question about who she was. They hadn't planned it, but as Dawn explained, backpackers need to stick together, especially women. After getting a meal together, they found they were all booked on the same bus that took them to Colorado, so they stayed together as they visited the Maroon Bells–Snowmass Wilderness, then got on a bus that took them to Montana. It turned out that Dawn was a professional tennis player whilst Camilla was in athletics. They had met Yvonne the year before on their summer holiday, and had never separated since then. Yvonne was in computers, though currently unemployed.  
Thanks to them, Lovisa was starting to smile again, participating in conversations and finally starting to enjoy the travelling. Up until then she had tried her best to forget her past, forget Hydra and Steve and Bucky and everything else she had been through, and she finally felt truly free. She felt independent, reveling in the fact that she could go anywhere and do anything without anyone holding her back. She had seen some of the most beautiful places in the world, taken some extremely beautiful pictures, spoken to some wonderful and bizarre people, but one day when they were sitting in a diner, the television screen was on and Lovisa froze in her seat.

_"Officials have yet to confirm or deny their involvement with the secret government agency, but it seems Captain America has taken things into his own hands." _The news reporter read, while in the corner of the screen a video was playing of Steve fighting against what Lovisa could only presume were Hydra agents. The video switched to a phone recording of Steve, and Natasha could be seen behind him. _"It has been reported that the metal armed assassin that was seen fighting against Captain America in Washington DC eight weeks ago is__ now fighting alongside him. "_ The camera zoomed in onto what was undeniably Bucky ducking behind an exploded car and recharging his gun, and Lovisa excused herself from the table.

She had been extremely, unforgivably selfish hadn't she? Just leaving without notice like that, leaving them all to take down Hydra by themselves whilst she took a holiday. Leaving Sam injured, leaving Steve confused, leaving Bucky... She had been so wrapped up in her own misery that she blinded herself to everything else. She knew Bucky had gotten worse, his screams still haunted her at night, and she regretted not rushing in to soothe him... Regretted not being in his bed in the first place. Ever since Steve had forced them to meet, before they even truly knew each other, they had both slept better together. There was just something between them, something inexplicable, but it just felt... Right. And she had left... Left because she couldn't face her own truth, convinced herself that she was bad for him simply because of what ran through her blood.

In doing so, she had let Hirsch win. She may not be the perfect Hydra agent that he wanted, but she was no good at anything else. She had screwed up her job - never even got a phone call after she got attacked there - screwed up her relationship with Bucky, screwed up the attack on Hydra and nearly got her friends killed... What hadn't she screwed up? She couldn't do anything by herself, the only thing she ever actually succeeded at was the missions she carried out for Hydra. Hirsch had, in a way, succeeded. The thought alone made her burn with fierce anger, anger at Hirsch, but mostly anger towards herself. She sobbed in her tent that night, and didn't bother to move when she heard the zipper. "Lovisa?" She heard Yvonne's tentative voice.

Lovisa looked up, pulling her knees against her as she sat watching the brunette. "Hey, it's okay, we've all been through some shit in our lives." Yvonne said softly, sitting beside her. "Why do you think we're here? My parents kicked me out when I told them I'm gay. I lost my home, my friends... I lost everything. But you know..." She shrugged. "Things get better, they always do."

Lovisa swallowed hard, her vision blurred by tears. "Not for me." She sniffed. "It's my fault."

Yvonne shook her head. "It gets better for everyone, and that includes you, Cat-Woman." She smiled.

"Cat Woman?" Lovisa blinked.

"Sorry, huge Batman fan." Yvonne grinned, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Camilla's always moaning about my Batman underwear but I ain't gonna change it, it makes me feel safe."

Lovisa smiled sadly, sniffing again. "I don't know what makes me feel safe."

Yvonne smiled again. "Come on, we've got marshmallows." She said, beckoning her out of the tent.

After eating a few burnt marshmallows, the four girls started playing truth or dare, which turned out to be more of a truth or truth as none of them felt like moving at all. After a few rounds, it was Lovisa's turn once more and she asked for truth. "Hmm..." Dawn hummed, twirling her fingers round an invisible beard. "Tell us about your first kiss." She grinned.

"My... First kiss?" Lovisa frowned, feeling herself tense up.

"Yeah, how old were you and where was it? Everyone has a crappy first kiss right?" Dawn smiled.

Lovisa smiled softly and dropped her head, thinking back to the night Bucky had ran off, how she had found him sitting on the side of the road, soaked to the bone. "It was raining..." Lovisa started, tears shining in her eyes as she smiled sadly. "He ran off after some bullshit argument and... He was sitting there, soaking wet, with bare feet and his hair just clinging to his face..." Lovisa chuckled as she wiped the tears from her face.

"How old were you?" Camilla asked softly.

Lovisa laughed, lifting her head to look at her. "It was a few weeks ago actually, I've lived a... A pretty sheltered life." She shrugged. "But... He was just so..." She bit her lip, her gaze drifting off into space. "As soon as his lips touched mine, it was like... Fireworks. Lighting up the entire universe. The most beautiful, breathtaking thing I've ever experienced and I just... It was like there was only him, like he was the only person in the entire universe..." She smiled, softly, visualising Bucky in her mind. "He's the most beautiful person you could imagine. He just makes everything better, when I'm with him it's like... Everything is going to be okay, no matter how bad things are... If he's there, there's hope."

Silence fell among them as the three girls watched Lovisa, small smiles on their faces. "What happened?" Camilla asked quietly.

"I left." Lovisa laughed to cover the sob that racked her body, sniffing and biting her lip again. "I thought I was doing the right thing, I mean... He deserves better."

"So you broke his heart." Dawn said flatly. "And your own."

Lovisa nodded reluctantly, fully expecting the three of them to tell her how stupid and selfish and crazy she was. Instead, she felt arms wrap around her, and she looked up to find Dawn holding her against her, Camilla sitting down beside her to wrap her arm around her shoulder as Yvonne stood beside them. "It's not too late to make things work out." Camilla said as she rubbed her hands on Lovisa's back as she cried silently against Dawn's shoulder.

"It is..." Lovisa swallowed, her body shaking as she tried to suppress the tears.

"It's never too late, not for love." Yvonne added, running her fingers through Camilla's dark hair. "Just go see him, call him, anything, just... Talk to him."

Lovisa closed her eyes. Maybe they were right, maybe things could still be fixed.

The next morning, the girls went to a Laundromat as they were running low on clean clothes. Lovisa dug to the bottom of her bag for the last clean t-shirt she had, and found the Captain America t-shirt that Sam had bought her. She hesitated before pulling it on, and looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't look anything like she had before leaving - her pale skin was now nicely tanned, her blonde hair was still a deep, vibrant purple, and the Captain America t-shirt that hung over her torn jean shorts made her look a lot younger than she felt. Made her looks... Normal. "Hey, you ready? If we put our clothes in together it'll save us a few dollars." Dawn called.

Lovisa pulled out her old cell phone and put it in her pocket before picking up the dirty clothes and putting them in the wash. After getting some approving remarks about her t-shirt, she stepped outside and hesitated for a few seconds before pressing the button to turn her phone on. She knew as soon as it was on she could be traced, but she figured after a month, they would have given up tracing her. She put in the password and her heart skipped a beat as she stared down at a picture of her smiling at the camera with Bucky's arms wrapped around her waist as he stood behind her, his chin on her shoulder as he smiled not at the camera, but at her.

Twelve missed calls and five unread messages. She skipped through the calls - either from Sam, Steve or Natasha - and got to the messages. They were all from Steve.

_- We need you, please come back. Call me._

_- Running doesn't solve anything. We're here to help, just call me._

_- Things aren't so good without you. Please call. We miss you._

_- I hope wherever you are, you are feeling better. I guess you won't be calling, but we're thinking of you._

Lovisa's heart broke as she saw the hope slowly fade from the messages. As she opened the last one, she felt the tears prick her eyes. _"I love you. B." _So simple, but so incredibly powerful. She quickly closed the message and took a deep breath, looking up at the sky.

"Hey Lou, we were thinkin' of - whoa is that the guy you're in love with?" Camilla's voice came, and Lovisa looked over her shoulder to see her sticking her head over her shoulder, staring down at the picture of her and Bucky.

"Yeah, that's him. That's Bucky." She sniffed.

Camilla's eyebrows raised as she took the phone in her hand to get a better look. "Hot damn, he's gorgeous." She laughed, handing the phone back. "Reminds me why I'm bisexual."

Lovisa chuckled as she put the phone in her pocket. "You were going to say?"

"Eh? Oh, yeah, er Yvonne and Dawn wanna go see New York which I know is completely on the other side of the states but uh, yeah. D'you wanna come with us?" Camilla shrugged, playing with the long braid she almost always had hanging down the side of her head.

Lovisa pursed her lips, thinking. "Yeah, why not." She shrugged. "Got nothing better to do." She smiled softly.

Camilla grinned. "Great! Well we haven't decided when we're going or anything, I mean I know you wanted to go see the springs and stuff -"

"We can decide that over dinner. I just gotta... I gotta go make a call, okay?" Lovisa hesitated as she spoke, biting her lip as she stuffed her hands in her pockets.

Camilla nodded in understanding, watching Lovisa as she walked down the quiet street by herself, her purple hair blowing about in the wind.

_This number has been disconnected. _

Lovisa's heart sank as she hung up on Steve's number. She tried calling Sam's number, and got the same message. She decided to go on the internet and typed 'Captain America' in the search bar, ploughing through the fan sites and speculation forums to find the news reports. In the month since she had left, he had been sighted in Richmond and Philadelphia, even Atlanta and Miami. There were rumours that he had been seen at an airport in Miami, and Lovisa cross checked the time of the sightings with the flight destinations, and found three possible flights - Qatar, Dubai or Detroit. Maybe she really was too late to fix things.


	10. Chapter 10

_I wanted to say a special thank you to iamevablazevska and angel897 for always faithfuly reviewing. Thank you SO MUCH you two And thank you to anyone who reviews, follows or just even reads. I always tend to get so lazy and never finish things, but you guys are keeping me going and keeping me motivated. I'm so grateful to everyone. I hope you like this next chapter :)  
Oh, and I don't know if I've ever actually said on here, but I've been making little edits of Bucky and Liz and posting one for each chapter on my tumblr. You can find the link on my profile if you're interested. I only do it to pass the time, and I like to actually visualise them together. _

* * *

New York City, the big apple, the melting pot, the capital of the world. Lovisa had already seen it. She'd seen it at night on missions for Hydra. She'd seen it during the day a couple of years ago when it was being destroyed by aliens. She'd seen it at night again a few months ago, when she had come with Steve, Sam and Bucky. The city didn't impress her like it did the others, yet she still felt a strange feeling about it. It wasn't a bad feeling either, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what the feeling was - it was stronger than simple recognition, though she wasn't exactly jumping for joy about being back in NYC.

Yvonne was going crazy though. Every large screen on the tall buildings, every animated advertising screen, every technology shop, she had to stop to inspect it all. She would push her thick black rimmed glasses up her nose as she inspected it, blurting out pieces of information that only she found interesting. She would walk around in a Batman or Lord of the Rings t-shirt, tucked into her high waist jeans and grin like an idiot at the lights and the busy streets. She would grab hold of Camilla's hand and drag her around, asking Lovisa or Dawn to take pictures of the two of them.

Camilla was enjoying the city as well, though more for the ice creams and pancakes and starbucks. Especially the starbucks. She also dragged the girls into every high street fashion shop, and always had to buy something, even if it was just a pair of earrings or a scarf. She took notes of what people wore, comparing the fashion in NYC to back home in New Mexico, constantly wearing short flower patterned dresses, her long braid still hanging down one side.

Dawn didn't like it so much. Though she found it all very interesting, she had already been a few times because of her tennis career. Like Lovisa, she wasn't much of a lover of big crowds, so the two often went together to museums whilst the two lovers explored the city together. It worked out well, because even though Dawn was the person Lovisa had the most trouble being comfortable around, it gave them time to connect. Dawn took her to the Natural History Museum and Lovisa found that she actually knew about a lot of the things they displayed thanks to the intense training that Hydra had put her through as a child. Dawn eagerly listened as Lovisa explained everything she knew about everything, asking her questions when she didn't understand.

"So how come you know so much about all this?" Dawn asked as they sat down to have a break, their legs aching from days of endless walking. "Didn't you say you had a sheltered life?"

Lovisa bit her lip as she played with the museum map in her hands. "Yeah, it's complicated... I wasn't really aloud out. Like, ever." She chuckled sadly, not daring to meet Dawn's eyes. "I guess I was home schooled, really strictly... I didn't really have a childhood."

Dawn outstretched her hand to hold onto Lovisa's, her dark skin contrasting greatly against Lovisa's pale, scarred hand. "Is that why you never talk about yourself?" She asked carefully, her dark eyes staring into Lovisa's green ones, letting her know she was there to help.

Lovisa sighed, nodding. "My mother... She died when I really young. I was raised by..." Lovisa sighed again, looking over at the displays of various animals and the little children pointing at them excitedly. "I was pretty much locked away and raised by many different people, but the only constant person in my life was this horrible, horrible man."

Dawn rubbed her thumb over the back of Lovisa's hand sympathetically. "Well you're free of him now, you'll never have to see him again."

"That's just the thing." Lovisa added, her tear-filled eyes meeting Dawn's again. "I recently found out he... He was my father." She said, licking her lips as she sniffed. "All these years, everything he did to me... And he was my father all along. And... He's dead now."

"Oh sweetie..." Dawn wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her against her. "Parents are never easy to deal with. Even the good ones... He may be your biological father but if he never acted like your father, then by all means he's not." She said, her words profoundly touching Lovisa. "My real father's an asshole too. He abused my mother, Camilla and I until the day the cops found out and locked him up. My mother remarried and the guy is a total sweetheart, in my eyes he's the only dad I ever had." She explained. "Family only means what you want it to mean. To some people, family is blood relatives, to others it's friends. You just gotta find your own meaning in it all."

Lovisa sniffed again, too afraid she'd break down in tears if she answered.

The next day, the girls decided they had to visit Stark Tower. "Tony Stark rebuilt it after the whole Alien thing a couple years back." Yvonne explained. "I know we walked passed it a few times already but god I really wanna go in and see it all, the guy's a complete genius!"

Lovisa's stomach twisted as they walked down the street, the tall, imposing building staring at them. "I would give anything to get a look at one of his Iron Man suits I mean duuuuude they are masterpieces, the hours of work he must have put into them!" Yvonne continued.

"I'm surprised we haven't seen him fly buy yet, apparently a lot of people see him come and go in the sky!" Camilla continued, just as excited as her girlfriend.

"If you ask me, the guy seems a total douche." Dawn shrugged. "I mean he might be clever and all but geez he's such a playboy."

Lovisa said nothing as the four girls stepped inside the building. It was crowded, full of tourists taking pictures and various displays and information about the building's technology. The girls walked around for a while until the noise level went up in the corner of the room. They looked around, wondering what was going on, and saw a man who must have been in his forties, with short dark hair and a goatee, striding confidently through the crowd. "Ohmygod" Yvonne breathed, making it sound like it was just one word.

"That's... Tony Stark!" Camilla echoed.

Lovisa watched him as he headed straight towards them, his gaze locked onto hers. She felt the instinct to turn and run, to get as far away from him and the possible threat he posed as she could, but she was rooted to the spot. "Lovisa, right?" He smirked as he stopped before her, smirking at her. He was a lot shorter than she had expected.

"You know each other?" Yvonne gasped, her eyes almost shining as she stared at the man she adored.

"We have mutual friends." Tony nodded, quickly looking over the three girls. "One of them has a message for you actually, as they can't seem to reach you themselves."

Lovisa swallowed, watching Tony's every movement as he stepped back and extended his arm for her to go with him. Still, she didn't move, and it wasn't until she felt Camilla push her gently that she hesitantly put a foot forwards and walked passed Tony. She turned on her heels to look back at the girls who were smiling at her. "I'll catch you at the motel later?" She called, needing reassurance.

Yvonne and Camilla grinned in excitement whilst Dawn calmly nodded, giving her the courage she needed as she followed Tony Stark through the crowd into the private elevator. "Jarvis, take us up." He said aloud, and a mechanical voice responded him. "Nice hair." Tony said when he realised she wasn't going to say anything to him.

He watched her as she shrugged, inspecting the elevator. "Stars and Stripes told me what happened last month." He continued. "Care to explain what was going through your little head?"

Lovisa snapped her head to glare at him. "I don't need to explain anything to you. I don't know you." She said coldly.

Tony lifted his hands in the air. "Down girl!" He chuckled. "They said you were touchy but geez! You should talk to Banner, he's good at that zen stuff."

Lovisa furrowed her eyebrows slightly, not knowing who he was speaking of, but chose to ignore his comment. " So what's this message?" She asked coldly.

"It's not so much a message, more of a... gesture." He shrugged, a smirk tugging at his lips as the doors opened onto what was obviously his personal living quarters, a large open space with a kitchen to the right and a couple of sofas directly in front of them facing a large flat screen television.

Tony walked straight into the room but Lovisa barely dared to step out of the elevator, wondering what was going on. Had Steve asked Stark to tell her something? Were they in trouble? Or did Tony have an ulterior motive? She had pretty much guessed his security system had identified her face and alerted him of her presence, but why did he even want to ...

"Liz?" The name caught her attention and she looked up, recognising the voice immediately. "Oh girl, you really are here!" Before she knew it, she was being held again Sam's warm chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He pulled back and looked at her, his dark eyes scanning her. "Damn girl you look good with purple hair." He grinned, his white teeth shining against his dark skin.

She smiled awkwardly, feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt. She hadn't even said goodbye to him, the last time she saw him he was in bed covered in bandages. "Sam..." She muttered quietly. "I..." She frowned, shaking her head.

"Nah uh, no crying, no apologies." He winked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he lead her into Stark's apartment. "Steve and Buck ain't in at the moment, but they'll be so happy you're back."

"Sam..." She sighed, shrugging his arm off to look at him properly. "I didn't come back... I didn't plan this, I don't..."

Sam stared at her for a moment, trying to understand. "So what you gonna do? Run away again?" He asked, the seriousness of his voice surprising her.

She closed her eyes, feeling so guilty she could almost throw up. "I don't know what to do Sam." She mumbled quietly, avoiding his gaze. "I don't know who I am, I don't know where I belong, I don't know... anything."

Sam stared at her for a second longer before smiling. "You're my friend. Our friend. And you belong with us, making fun of my cooking and making us watch crap movies." He smiled.

Lovisa couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips as she looked up at him. "I'm sorry." She whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist to hug him again. "I was stupid."

Sam chuckled as he hugged her back, his laughter reverberating through his chest as she pressed her head against him. "We're all stupid, lil angel." He reassured her, using the nickname he and Steve had given her, bringing tears to her eyes. She hadn't realised how much she had missed Sam.

Sam and Tony updated Lovisa on what had happened in the six weeks she had been away. Steve and Bucky had been taking down as many Hydra bases as they could, with Natasha and Clint going with them whenever they could. They had moved into Stark Tower after two weeks as it was more practical for storing weapons and information, especially as Tony had been in charge of the information since before even Liz had left. Stark, despite being sarcastic and witty and sometimes downright childish, felt the need to provide safety for the few people who actually saw past the playboy Iron Man and ensure they had everything they needed, even if he made out they were bothering him. Lovisa had been trained to read people, and Stark was easy to read - he cared, he cared very deeply, but he covered it all with humour, insults and nonchalance.

Sam avoided the subject of Bucky, noticing the way Lovisa flinched ever so slightly every time his name was mentioned, and he decided it was better if he just waited until the two met again, and let them sort things out themselves. She was eager to make sure he was safe, pointing out that she had seen Steve and Bucky on the news channels a few times and both Sam and Tony assured her the two super soldiers were indeed safe and that they would return to the tower late that night. What they didn't tell her was that they had teamed up with the remains of Shield, using their database and resources to get the jobs done. Tony especially was hesitant to tell her about Shield still existing, afraid that some Hydra brainwashing would kick in when she heard the news and she'd suddenly feel the urge to murder them all. Sam just thought it was best she heard the news from Steve and Bucky, but the two men made sure she was taking the news well.

Truth be told, she was having a hard time imagining Bucky fighting again. In their many nights together, Lovisa and Bucky had often talked about their lives, and he had told her that he just wanted the fighting to end and just live in peace. He had been fighting before Hydra, then he had been the Winter Soldier, and he just wanted to put weapons aside and be a human being, a civilian rather than a soldier. To think that he was willingly out there, fighting and killing more people... It didn't sit right with her. Yes Hydra were evil and certainly deserved what they got but she didn't really want Bucky to be the one out there. She knew Steve though, and knew he wouldn't stop until they were all dealt with. She respected his sense of justice and his righteousness, envied him even for having such a heart of gold.

Eventually Lovisa's phone rang and she excused herself from Tony and Sam to take the call. "Hello?" She answered.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Dawn's worried voice rang through the phone.

"Yeah... Yeah I just got tied up with a few things, don't worry." Lovisa answered, trying to be as honest as she could without letting her know the truth. Why exactly she felt the need to hide the truth was beyond her, but for some reason she couldn't tell the girls about her involvement with Shield, Hydra, Captain America and the Winter Soldier. She just couldn't.

"Well, do you need anything? If you need to get out, I'll come get you, I mean -" Dawn began, her calm voice greatly helping Lovisa find the inner strength she needed.

"Thanks, but I'm okay. I'll be late tonight, I have no idea what time I'll be back. Stark has uh... Well he's called an old friend and... I think it's about time I faced it all." Lovisa muttered into the phone, playing with her nails as she leant back against the wall.

There was a short silence on the other end and then she heard Dawn sigh. "Well as long as you're sure about this." She said. "And remember, if you need us, just call no matter what time."

"Thank you." Lovisa smiled, even though Dawn couldn't see it.

"I mean it Lou, you're our friend and -" there was a pause and some muffled noises then suddenly Yvonne's excited voice rang through the phone line. "Lou? You're still with Stark?"

Lovisa chuckled. "Yeah, I am." She laughed even harder when Yvonne squealed. "I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, I promise."

"Dude, could you get me an autograph or something? I mean I know he's kinda your friend or whatever so it would be a bit creepy but I dunno... Get a selfie or something?" Yvonne begged, sounding like a five year old at Christmas.

Yvonne continued laughing as she answered. "I'll try."

"Great! Well, see you whenever then! Oh, Camilla sais hi." Yvonne's voice was like a ray of sunshine sometimes. "Okay, bye byes!"

"Bye!" Lovisa smiled and shook her head as she put her phone back in her pocket, looking up to see Sam smiling at her from the end of the corridor. "What?" She asked.

"Nothin'." He shrugged, his eyes shining with mischief. "Come on, Pepper's back and she bought Chinese." He grinned, cocking his head to invite her.

"Who's Pepper?" She asked him quietly as they walked into the kitchen to find Tony speaking to a short ginger woman pulling take away food out of a plastic bag.

"Tony's girlfriend, CEO of Stark Industries." Sam explained.

Despite Lovisa's reservations, Pepper turned out to be a very kind and welcoming, and the fact that she was so organised helped keep Lovisa calm as she liked organised people because it helped her keep her nerves under control. Pepper not only put the ex-assassin at ease, but also kept Tony Stark in line, which was a very much appreciated bonus. Pepper didn't even ask any awkward questions, in fact she seemed to know much more than she let on so Lovisa guessed that the men had informed the ginger woman all about her and oddly enough, it didn't bother her. In fact it was a good thing, at least Lovisa wouldn't have to do any explaining and they could get a good start on their friendship.

Wait, friendship?

Lovisa excused herself to the bathroom during dinner and stared in the mirror. How could she be thinking of friendship with a woman she barely even met? She didn't need friends, she just needed contacts and... No. That was what Hydra wanted. Lovisa shook her head and leant on the sink, her shoulders hunched as she hung her head down and sighed.

The whole time she had been travelling around the states, she had felt free, relaxed and... Happy? Yes she had been happy, at least to some extent. She had missed Steve, Sam and Bucky dearly, but she had definitely felt herself become happier the longer she was away. She got her paranoia under control, no longer shot death glares at anyone who even glanced her way, and managed to hold polite exchanges with shopkeepers. Looking up into the mirror, she realised the dark circles under her eyes had mostly disappeared, and faint makeup she had taken to wearing everyday changed her face, especially as she was now tanned and still sported her purple hair even though it was faded. She was far from the person who had once befriended Captain America.

She stepped out of the bathroom, having pulled herself together, and was about to tell Sam that she was going to head back to her motel as she didn't feel ready to see Steve and Bucky so soon, when she bumped into a rather large body when she rounded the corner.

"Sorry, I wasn't loo..." She started, looking up as her gaze fell onto bright blue eyes. "Bucky..." She breathed, taking a small step back as she looked at him. He was still as tall and imposing as she remembered, but he barely looked like the man she had known. The most shocking thing was that he was wearing a loose fitting tank top, his metal arm completely on show. Her eyes skipped up to his face to find he still hadn't learn to shave properly, his cheeks covered in the stubble she used to love caressing, but his eyes didn't look as tired anymore, didn't look so full of horror and regret. They shone as he stared at her, his lips slightly parted as he attempted to process the fact that she was standing before him once more. Even his hair had changed. When she had left, it had been slightly longer on top than it had been on the sides, but now he had what people seemed to call an undercut - the top part of his hair was a good few inches long, swept to the side and hanging down his forehead, and the sides were cut very short. It was odd, but it suited him ridiculously well.

"Lovisa." He said eventually, his deep voice sending vibrations through her body.

The two stared at each other for a while, neither of them knowing what to say yet a million different emotions changing their expressions. Bucky eventually closed his mouth, his brows furrowing ever so slightly as his gaze left hers and skimmed over her body. Lovisa looked down, chewing on her bottom lip, feeling her confidence crumble under his gaze. He looked so good now, he looked healthier and happier and he had obviously gotten more confidence and self assurance. All that without her by his side. Did he even need her? Maybe she had done the right thing after all by leaving. She had desperately wanted to be wrong, but maybe she had been right all along. He was better without her.

"Forty-three." He mumbled quietly, catching her gaze once more.

His eyes were indiscernible. Was he happy? Angry? Did he care at all? "Forty-three?" She repeated, shaking her head slightly in confusion.

Bucky parted his lips, looking down as if he regretted speaking, when the two were interrupted. "Hey Buck, if you hurry up we can - Lovisa?" Steve Rogers stood beside Bucky, an arm on his friend's shoulder as he stared over at Lovisa. "Good god, it's great to see you!" He grinned, flinging his arms around the girl who happily responded, biting her bottom lip to keep her emotions in check as she felt Steve squeeze her against his chest. "We missed you so much! Didn't we Buck?" He grinned as he pulled back, still holding her by the shoulders as she smiled softly at him.

"Uh, sure." Bucky mumbled, not daring to look at her.

Lovisa's smiled faded as she watched Bucky shift his weight from one foot to another, nervously holding his metal arm. "I guess I owe you an apology." She said quietly, looking back up to Steve. "I was an ass. A selfish, stupid asshole and I -"

"You don't need to apologise to me." Steve shook his head, voice full of honesty.

"Yes, I do." She nodded, adamant. "I was too blind to realise that you were there for me, too selfish to be there for you. I let you down, I let myself down, I just... I'm so, so sorry." She said, her voice trembling as she kept her gaze locked with Steve's.

Bucky abruptly walked away, heading down the corridor without a word, leaving her to close her eyes and sigh. "He's alright." Steve's soft voice came, his hand on her shoulder once more. "Like I said, you don't owe me an apology, I understand. You look like it did you good anyway, so all the more reason to not apologise." He smiled softly.

Lovisa returned the smile sadly, brushing away the tear that escaped. "I missed you Steve." She said, going in for another hug as he chuckled quietly.

"I missed you too, Liz." He smiled. "Not so sure about the hair though." He added, making her laugh through the tears.

Thanks to Sam and Steve being so ridiculously kind and accepting, Lovisa quickly felt perfectly at ease as she sat at the dinner table once more, smiling as Tony constantly tried to tease Steve for just about any reason imaginable. Bucky was still locked away who knew where, which really bothered her, but Sam reassured her he always did that after he and Steve went on a mission. She felt a bit better after that, but she still felt terrible. Even as the sun set and Steve excused himself to get some rest, giving her another hug before she left, she felt the need to apologise yet again.

"Hey Katy Perry, you look kinda lost." Stark's voice interrupted Lovisa as she sat alone at the kitchen table, Sam having gone to the bathroom and Pepper having gotten a phone call.

"Who's Katy Perry?" She frowned, looking over at Stark as he fiddled with his ipad.

"A singer. She had blonde hair then went purple." He shrugged. "You should go talk to Metallica."

She stared at him for a second. "You mean Bucky?" She scoffed when he nodded, tapping away at his ipad still. "He probably wants left alone... He didn't seem all too happy earlier." She sighed. "I should be getting back to my motel anyway." She added, standing up and walking over to the sofa to get her jacket.

"He was counting the days that you were away." Tony's voice called after her. "He's got a calendar on his wall for it and everything."

Lovisa froze, looking up at him to find him smirking. Bucky had been counting the days since they... Wait. He had said forty-three. Was that... Understanding hit her in the face and she felt tears prick at her eyes once more. "Elevator at the end of the corridor, 91st floor." Tony said simply as he walked off to the elevator, leaving her standing by herself with her jacket in her arms. She looked from the elevator that would take her away, back to her motel, back to Yvonne, Dawn and Camilla. She then looked down the empty corridor, staring at the smaller, private elevator that would take her back to Bucky.

She closed her eyes as she weighed up her options, then cursed aloud, shaking her head. She set off to her chosen destination, pushing herself forward before she regretted it.


	11. Chapter 11

_I know, I know, I'm late, and I'm sorry! I started uni again a couple of weeks ago so I've been really tied up getting used to my new time table and getting used to cooking my own meals and doing all the housework by myself again. I forgot how time consuming living alone is! Anyway, I hope this chapter makes up for it. It's not very eventful and I originally planned for this part to be quite short and include quite a bit of action in this chapter, but then the scene turned out a lot longer and I think it's good this way. I mean sometimes you just need to slow down and have long emotional scenes right?_  
_Also, I've updated my profile where I've added links to pictures of the actresses I'm "using" as Lovisa, Camilla, Dawn and Yvonne. I don't know about you but I like to have a visual on the people I'm writing about. _  
_Hope you this chapter's up to scratch, thanks to everyone following and favouriting this little thing. Love to hear what you think about it!_

* * *

The elevator doors clicked open onto a sitting room, two large brown sofas facing each other on an old-fashioned red carpet. The back wall was covered in dark wood bookcases, though mostly empty. To the left there was an opening in the cream-colored walls leading through to a kitchen, but the lights were off making it too dark to discern it. To the right was a wide corridor with half a dozen doors leading off it. Lovisa hesitantly stepped into the living room, noticing the absence of personal touches, and hovered in the hallway. She should probably just turn back and head to the motel, Bucky obviously didn't want to see her and Steve said he needed some rest so he was probably already asleep. What was she even thinking? She should have ignored Stark and just headed back to the girls like she had planned.

She closed her eyes and turned on her heels. She pressed the button to send for the elevator and waited. "Lovisa?" She heard Steve call her, and she turned to find him in a tank top and sweatpants, his hair wet as he towel dried in. "You're more than welcome here. Please stay."

The doors to the elevator opened and she looked from Steve to the empty elevator. "I can't stay Steve, I don't belong here anymore... I'm not sure I ever did." She muttered, stepping inside.

Before she could press the button to take her away, Steve grabbed her arm tightly. "Bucky shouldn't have reacted the way he did, but I know he wants to see you." He said softly. "You can leave if you want, but I think you'd be making a mistake."

Lovisa watched him carefully, his eyes shining with hope and goodness like they often did. Steve had always known how to get to her, he knew how to pull on her heart-strings and the smug bastard knew it. People always thought he was nothing more than a strong tough soldier, relying on his super strength to get by, but in reality Steve was kind, soft and intelligent. He may not understand technology and science like Stark did, but he understood people, he understood what it means to be good. His gaze made Lovisa snarl playfully at him as she dropped her head. "Go sing the national anthem or something." She groaned, pushing past him as she set off down the corridor.

"Third door on the right!" He called after her, chuckling softly.

She turned around and stuck her tongue out at him as he winked, heading into the kitchen as he continued to towel dry his hair. Lovisa got to Bucky's door and lifted her fist up to knock, but hesitated. She didn't know what to say to him, didn't know how to act. Should she go in and hug him? Stay distant? Explain herself or just focus on building their relationship again? She sighed once more and eventually managed to knock softly, knowing Bucky was trained to hear the faintest of noises.

She waited, her heart beating a thousand times a second when eventually the door opened. "Steve just leave me alone, I told you I -" His breath caught in his throat as he realized he was staring down at Lovisa, not at Steve. "I thought you left." He said simply, his voice flat and emotionless, his expression closed and unreadable.

He had changed, wearing a navy blue short-sleeved t-shirt and grey sweatpants that hung around his waist enticingly. The scent of aftershave and soap floated around him, awakening every part of her as she stared up at him, all words disappearing from her lips. "What do you want?" He asked, cocking his head when he realized she wasn't going to speak.

"I..." She started, her mouth hanging open as her gaze fell. What exactly did she want? To apologize? To check that he was doing well? To say goodbye forever? Rekindle their relationship? She looked back up at him as he waited, brows furrowed as he watched her, his gaze indiscernible, and she felt herself begin to tear up. "You can hate me if you want, I know I would but I just... I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you." She said quietly.

Bucky continued to stare at her in silence, watching the tears fall from her eyes as she continued. "You deserve to be happy, and it seems I'm pretty shitty at making that happen so I guess what I'm here to say is... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I couldn't fix you. I'm sorry I escaped the fucking Hydra base and left you behind..." She said, her throat too tight to continue.

Bucky frowned heavily as he watched her wipe her eyes, attempting to keep herself together. He still hadn't moved, his metal hand still holding the door handle. Lovisa waited for a few seconds, hoping he would say something, but he didn't. "Well, that's that then." She shrugged, sniffing as she took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'll be going then... Goodnight." She blinked, nodding before she turned to leave.

She was halfway down the hall when he grabbed her arm and twisted her around, and in one swift movement he had wrapped his arms around her tightly, maybe even a little too tightly for comfort, and she could feel him shaking slightly against her. "You are not going anywhere." He growled into her hair, nuzzling her neck to get through her hair so he could reach her neck. "Ever." He whispered against her skin.

Lovisa felt herself laugh as the tears came back in full force, her arms wrapping themselves around his waist. "I won't, I promise."

Words could not express the way they felt when they held each other. Being in each other's arms made them feel like they were exactly where they were supposed to be, as if everything they had lived through had purposefully thrown at them simply to bring them together, to put them in each other's arms. It was as if the universe consisted only of the two of them, the smell of their hair, the touch of their skin, the warmth of their body pressed against each other, the small content moans that escaped them as they gripped each other tightly, their hands running up and down each other's body as they desperately sought to get closer to one another, the warmth of their breath sending shivers down their spines as it blew across their necks.

Even as Bucky pulled away, his hands running down her arms to take hold of her hands, his soft gaze never leaving hers as he searched for the words he needed, but those round green eyes of hers took his breath away and he found himself playing with the tips of her hair, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he acquainted himself with the pastel purple color of her long locks. How could he ever forget how stunningly beautiful she was? His hand left her hair and he cupped her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb as he stared down at her.

"I missed you." She breathed, her words so quiet he almost missed them, but they hit him hard.

He still hadn't found his voice, but she could tell she had said the right thing by the way his eyes changed, tightening the grip his metal hand had on hers. She heard Steve making some noise behind them in the kitchen and as if hearing her thoughts, Bucky reluctantly pulled away from her and guided her into his room, letting her in first and shutting the door behind him.

Lovisa frowned as she stood in the middle of what was supposed to be his bedroom, but if it weren't for the bed shoved against the wall in the far corner of the room, the plain white sheets screwed up and hanging off the edge, it would easily pass as a store room. There were no soft furnishing - no furnishings at all really. With the door behind her, Lovisa looked around - the bed on the opposite side of the room to the right, a metal bookcase took up most of the wall to her right beside the door, most of the shelves empty except for scraps of paper, files, a few books and some pens lying around. On the wall to her left, there was a small black chest of drawers, some of the draws open with clothes hanging out, and some more on the floor. The wall was covered in notes, red lines connecting various scraps of paper, news paper clippings, photographs and notes scribbled everywhere.

Barely believing it, she turned around and looked up at Bucky, noticing that his expression had gone from relieved and happy to see her to downright worried. "Why are you living like this?" She asked quietly, frowning heavily up at him.

Bucky's lips parted to speak but yet again he had no idea what to say. What could he possibly say to her after all this time? What words could possibly fill the void he had felt during her absence? He had imagined saying a millions things to her whilst he was gone, and now that she was standing there before him, speaking to him, asking him questions, he was unable to find his own voice.

He closed his eyes, his brows furrowed heavily and Lovisa stepped forward, gently putting her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry..." She whispered, thinking he was angry at her. He should be, considering what she had put him through.

Bucky's eyes shot open as he shook his head softly, bringing his hands up to cup her face. "No..." He muttered, holding her gaze. "I need you to understand." He said, having trouble finding the right words as she cocked her head in confusion. "You said you left so I could be happy but..." He sighed, pausing for a second. "I only know what happiness means if you are with me."

Lovisa's eyes widened, her breath catching in her throat as she took his words in. Her heart beat faster, feeling his heavy breathing against her lips as he cupped her face, his intense gaze piercing straight through her. "In that case, I'll never be anywhere but with you." She replied softly, watching as his face relaxed, his breathing returning to normal as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

They stayed still for a while longer, chuckling softly when they heard Steve humming to himself on the other side of the door. Lovisa dropped her head as she chuckled and Bucky watched her, smiling as he watched the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed. "Why... purple?" He asked slowly.

Lovisa stepped back a bit, tracing her fingers over his chest of drawers as she inspected the clippings on the wall. Some of them were murders, others were unusual activities, pictures of men who looked to be Hydra. "I thought about dyeing my hair black but then I realized I'm free, I can do what I want, so... I thought why not go with something crazy." She shrugged, looking over at him as he stood still in the middle of the room. "The store didn't have much, a lot of dark colors and this horrible pink." She grimaced, bringing a small smile to Bucky's lips. "So I went with purple. It was darker though, it's washed out." She smiled softly up at him. "Do you like it?"

Bucky paused before answering, cocking his head to get another look at her. "It's different." He started, his eyes still watching her. "Dames never used to change their hair color... But it does have it's charms." He continued, stepping closer to her. "It certainly brings out those beautiful eyes of yours."

Lovisa listened, a faint smile on her face as he spoke, his voice warming her heart as it rumbled in her ears, but she also took note of the way he spoke. He used the word 'dames' like he would have done in the forties. He was reminiscing. "I'll take that as a yes then?" She smirked, leaning back against the chest of drawers as she watched him slowly step closer to her.

"I would have to see what it looks like when the sun comes up and you're still asleep." He smirked playfully, standing right in front of her, his breath against her face, but he didn't touch her.

Lovisa smiled despite herself but frowned, cocking her head. "You've learnt to flirt." She said flatly, unsure about how she felt about that.

Bucky's eyes widened and he stepped back, apparently realizing that he had indeed learnt how to flirt. "I don't know... I wasn't thinking, forgive me if I offended you, I just -"

"Bucky, it's alright." She reassured him, stepping towards him.

He looked down at her, making sure that she was being truthful. "I've remembered a lot." He said. "I think I have most of my memories now, some things just come out of my mouth before I can stop them. It's like the old Bucky is trying to push through..." He frowned.

"You say that like it's a bad thing..." Lovisa said, brushing his hair out of his face.

"It's not bad, it's just... Hard to piece together Bucky Barnes with the Winter Soldier." He admitted hesitantly, taking hold of her hand. "With you gone, I didn't know who I was anymore."

Lovisa's face fell, the guilt pulling at her again, but before she could apologize, he lifted a metal finger to cover her lips, his other hand still holding hers. "No more apologizing, that's a rule." He said adamantly. "I just mean that when you're with me, I have someone who understands, because you knew as little about yourself as I did and I never once felt lonely with you around. When you left, I felt like you took who I was with you and I was left with these two strangers looking back at me in the mirror... The 'old Bucky' that Steve longed for, and the Winter Soldier. Neither of them felt right, and I didn't know where I was..." He explained, Lovisa hanging on to every word.

"Didn't? You do now?" She asked, letting him guide her to his bed where they sat down beside each other, all four of their hands entangled together.

"Kinda." He smirked. "I have a feeling it'll be a lot easier now I have you." Lovisa dropped her gaze to the floor, blushing slightly as she smiled. "You've changed too." He continued, catching her attention. "Not just your hair color, but the way you act." He said.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Your facial expressions. They used to be faint, discreet, years of training erasing your feelings. But you look at you, a face full of emotions for everyone to see." He said, watching as she blushed again. "See? You keep blushing, you never did before." He smiled.

"You never used to flirt so much." She retorted playfully, nudging him with her shoulder.

"Well I missed out, I have a lot of catching up to do." He winked, bringing another smile to her face. "You look happier, Lovisa." He added, saying her name for the first time.

"I'm... I'm not sure if I like you calling me that." She admitted carefully.

Bucky chuckled, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Then I won't call you that, babe."

Lovisa laughed with him, shaking her head. "You are something, Buck. " They fell into silence again, still holding hands. "Bucky... You never did tell me why your room is so..."

"Messy?" He offered.

"Empty." She said, shaking her head.

Bucky paused, looking down. "I guess... I never had a reason to fill it." He shrugged. "I have a bed to sleep on, a place to put my clothes, a place to put my work. What else do I need?"

Lovisa closed her eyes and frowned. "Tell you what." She started, bringing a slightly worried look to his face as he watched her dig out her phone from her pocket. "I met some girls while I was away..." She said, going through some files until she pulled up a picture of herself with Dawn, Camilla and Yvonne and showed it to Bucky.

He took her phone and looked down at the four smiling women. "That's Yvonne" she said, pointing the girl with the dark hair and glasses, laughing with her eyes closed. "That's her girlfriend Camilla" Lovisa continued, pointing to the long-haired, dark-skinned girl with her arms wrapped around Yvonne. "And that's Camilla's sister Dawn." She finished, pointing to the tall girl with short afro hair with an arm around Lovisa's shoulders.

"You look... Happy." Bucky said, putting to memory as many details about these girls as he could.

"I was..." She said absent-mindedly, staring at the picture as she remembered how Yvonne had given her camera to a guy at the motel and asked him to take a picture of the four of them. "Those girls have done so much for me. They don't know the truth but they still found a way to help." She smiled. "Anyway, Camilla's a huge fan of fashion and design so maybe she could help give this room a makeover. She's been dying to get her hands on a blank page and really do her thing."

Bucky handed her phone back and frowned. "They're in New York?" He asked, receiving a nod in reply. "I don't know babe..." He muttered, feeling like he was letting her down but he didn't even know these girls, how did he know he could trust them?

Lovisa understood of course, and proceeded to tell him about the time she had spent away. The two of them stayed up way past midnight as she told him all about the places she had been, the mountains and rivers and forests and canyons she had seen. She showed him the few pictures she had on her phone, regretting not having her camera with her so she could show him the rest.

Somehow the two of them ended up going some late night cleaning, piling up the folders on Bucky's bookshelf and putting away the clothes on the floor as Lovisa continued her stories, Bucky hanging on to every word. They easily fell into comfortable banter, teasing and nudging each other playfully, smiles never leaving their faces. It felt completely natural to be together, and though they had been apart for six weeks and both of them changed somewhat since they last saw each other, it was as if nothing had changed. Lovisa still had her quirks and preferences, getting annoyed when Bucky put paperwork on the wrong pile ("but babe it doesn't matter, it's all going in the trash anyway"), and Bucky still enjoyed poking her in the stomach to make her jump ("stop doing that or I swear I'll murder you"). By the time they decided to call it a night, it was nearing four in the morning and they were both yawning every couple of minutes, struggling to keep their eyes awake.

Buzzing. Loud, incessant buzzing.

Bucky opened his eyes, turning his head as he searched for the source of the noise. He then looked down onto his chest when he heard Lovisa grumbling under her breath, nuzzling her face on his t-shirt as she tightened her grip on his waist. "Turnthe fuu... phone offffff..." She muttered sleepily, keeping her eyes closed.

Bucky smiled, brushing his metal fingers through her hair as he picked up her phone with his other hand. He was about to turn it off when he saw the name on-screen. "Who is this?" He asked, putting the device against his ear.

He was met with silence before a nervous, high-pitched female voice responded. "Is... Is Lovisa there? It's... Tell her it's Yvonne, she didn't come back last night and -"

"Lovisa's here." Bucky said flatly, remembering everything Lovisa had told her about Yvonne.

"She is? Oh that's great!" The girl answered, speaking a lot more openly now that she was reassured. "Could you possibly put her on?"

"No." He answered.

"Uuuuh..." Yvonne laughed nervously, taken aback by his bluntness. "Please? Or just get her a message or something? Who is this anyway? She's not in any trouble is she?"

Bucky paused for a second, looking down at Lovisa as she slept on his chest in one of his t-shirts, her hair splayed all around her face as her cheeks burnt red like they always did when she slept. "She's sleeping." He explained. "I'm... Bucky." He didn't really know how to introduce himself. Maybe a name would be enough to satisfy the over curious girl.

"BUCKY?" The girl almost shouted into the phone, making him pull it away from his ear. "Ohmygod she's with Bucky." She continued, obviously not talking to him anymore. "Dude, I'm sorry I interrupted, I hope I didn't spoil any special moment there." She giggled.

"I -" Bucky started but the girl was speaking so much he couldn't say anything back.

"Well let her know she can call us whenever, but we're fine without her. I'm so glad you two got back together, she said so many beautiful things about you! Oh my god I'm so happy right now."

"What -" Bucky tried again but Yvonne was obviously on a role.

"I mean that picture of the two of you she had as wallpaper was just so CUTE I mean you two are just so perfect together, at least that's the impression I got from what she said. Anyways I better leave you two alone, have fun, kiss kiss!" Yvonne sang happily into the phone.

The line went dead before Bucky could even say anything. He looked down at the phone, frowned heavily, then placed it back on the small cabinet beside his bed. He had no idea what to make of the whole thing, she was absolutely not the type of person he had expected Lovisa to befriend. She was so... Enthusiastic. He had never heard anyone speak so quickly in his life, with such a happy, high pitch tone of voice and she had really threw him off balance. "Who was it?" Lovisa asked him, yawning heavily as she rubbed her face against his chest.

"Uh... Batman?" He frowned, using the name that had come up on the screen. Lovisa started chuckling against him, the feeling bringing a smile to his lips as he watched her turn onto her stomach, leaning her chin on his chest as she looked up at him.

"So that's why you were so quiet." She smirked.

"She's certainly very... talkative." Bucky smiled back, running his fingers through her hair as he watched her. The way her eyes squinted in the morning sunshine, the way her cheeks were flushed after sleeping soundly against him, the way her hair was knotted and sticking up in weird places. She was honestly the most beautiful woman he had ever met, and he wanted to wake up to her like this every day for the rest of his life. The sunshine, the warmth, the comfort and intimacy... It was all so far away from the cryo tubes and lab coats he'd had for the past sixty years.

"She could talk the ears off anyone that girl." Lovisa nodded, stifling a yawn. When she noticed Bucky's gaze would not leave her, she cocked her head to the side. "What?"

"I like your hair this color." He said thoughtfully, playing with it. "I told you I needed to see it this way to make up my mind." He winked, making her chuckle and snuggle up against him once more.

"I missed you Barnes." She whispered against his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck as she placed her whole body on top of him.

"No more than I missed you." He whispered back, holding her tightly against him. "But why Batman?" He couldn't help but ask, making her laugh again.

After having a quick shower in Steve and Bucky's bathroom across the hall, she wondered around their apartment, finding Steve and Sam in the kitchen. "Jesus, you're alive!" Sam grinned when he saw her. "You realize it's like three in the afternoon right?" He laughed when he saw how confused she was.

Lovisa quickly looked over to Steve for confirmation and he only laughed. "Crap." She frowned. "I had things to do today." She sighed, sitting on a stool at the counter beside Sam.

"Sleep well little angel?" He asked, grinning mischievously at her.

"I slept fine." She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Is there any coffee left?"

The three of them fell into comfortable conversation for a while, and when Bucky joined them they continued to sit and chat as if nothing had changed. Steve took Bucky aside for a moment, checking that things were alright between him and Lovisa, but Bucky didn't even need to say anything to reassure Steve - his smile said enough. Steve hadn't seen Bucky smile that much since she had left, and though he was a little angry with her for leaving his friend, he knew they belonged together. There was just something about them when they were together, something that brought a smile to his face as he watched them.

Steve had known Bucky since they were kids. Bucky had gone after a lot of women before the war, he could have charmed the pants off anyone if he wanted. But not once did Bucky's eyes shine like they did when he looked at Lovisa, not once did any other girl have such an impact on him. His mother and sister had always been extremely important to him, Steve knew that, Bucky was a family guy, protective and caring - always had been, and probably always would be. The way he acted around Lovisa showed the same protective possessiveness he had around his little sister when he defended her against the boys in school, the same devotion and admiration he used to have for his mother, the same understanding and mischievousness as he did with Steve. Steve knew all of this just by watching them, because after all, Bucky was like family to him. He was all he had left.

Lovisa called Dawn, knowing she would be the calmest of the three women, and they arranged to go to dinner together that night. Lovisa had a big decision to make, and she didn't want to make it alone. It went without saying that the men wanted her to live with them. The floor that Sam, Steve and Bucky shared had more than enough spare rooms for her to stay in if she wanted her own room, though Bucky was more than adamant he wanted her to stay in his. As much as the idea of going back to live with them made her heart swell with excitement, she still couldn't bear the idea of leaving those three girls, those three innocent bystanders who had lifted her up when she had been so low.

They bombarded her with questions. _What did Stark want? What was he like? How does he know Bucky? What did Bucky have to say? Were they dating again? Was she going to stay with them? _

Lovisa stayed quiet, staring blankly at her plate, picking at the food without actually eating anything. She didn't have the answers to their questions. "I don't know..." She mumbled quietly. "I mean I missed them like crazy, and they've let me back in without question but... The life they lead is..." Lovisa sighed, dropping her fork and burying her face in her hands. She didn't want to go back to hunting Hydra. She didn't want to be involved with Shield or the Avengers. She wanted to be as far away from it as possible but... Was it even possible? She was born into it, the very produce of Shield and Hydra's war. Everything she had ever known was tainted by it, down to her very blood. Was it possible to escape?

"The way I look at it Lou, it's pretty easy." Camilla started, catching her attention. "Are you happy with them? Are you happy with Bucky?"

"Of course I am." Lovisa said as if it were obvious, the words escaping her lips without a second thought.

"Then stay with them." Camilla smiled.

"You've been running for weeks girl, maybe it's time you stopped." Dawn agreed. "I mean sure, obviously it all comes with baggage, but no matter where you go, they'll be problems. They don't go away because you run."

"And anyway, with what you've said, it seems to me that you and Bucky belong together. No matter where you go, I think you should at least be with him." Yvonne finished, earning a nod from the two sisters.

"Love isn't easy to find Lou. You've got it, don't let it go." Dawn smiled, taking hold of Lovisa's hand and squeezing reassuringly, earning a sad half smile from the girl.

"But... What about you three?" She asked quietly, not wanting to lose them.

Camilla and Yvonne shared a look, smirking heavily. "I guess we can stick around for a while." Yvonne winked. "Besides, you gotta introduce me to Stark, right?"

Lovisa went back to Stark tower shortly after nightfall. She was feeling good, happy even. A small smile was tugging at her lips even as she made her way through the crowded streets of NYC, not even feeling murderous towards every rude person who bumped into her. She had Steve and Sam back, everything was still good with Bucky, and she wasn't going to lose her girls. As she asked Jarvis to take her up to Stark's living room, she looked into the mirror that was staring at her in the elevator and stared at her reflection the whole ride up. Yeah, those eyes might the same shape and color as that evil son of a bitch who supervised her_ 'treatment', _but they weren't empty and dead like his were. Like hers used to be. No, they were wide, alive, and shining. She noticed she didn't even hold herself the same way as she used to, her clothes - simple jeans and plaid shirt - didn't make her stand out. She had taken back control, not just of her body but of her whole life. If she had ever wanted one thing, it was that.

As she walked through the corridor, approaching the kitchen where Steve, Tony and Bucky were laughing about something, Steve sitting off on the side reading a magazine, she decided that yes, everything was as it should be. Better even. Life was good.

Her phone rang, and she picked up absentmindedly when she saw the caller ID. "Did I leave something behind?" She asked, a smile on her face as she looked over at Bucky who winked at her.

"Your friends." The man's voice on the other end of the phone threw her off. She froze immediately, her smile disappearing in a flash.

"What have you done with them?" She asked, her voice icy and harsh. Of course it had been too easy. She couldn't just start over like that, she couldn't just be happy. No, Hydra had to go and fuck everything up, of course they would. She was stupid to even believe it was possible for everything to be alright.

"Nothing... Yet." The man on the phone laughed, sending shivers down her spine.


End file.
